Transcript
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One of life's greatest questions is what happens to us after we die?
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Is death the end or a new beginning?
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Welcome to the Round Trip Death Podcast.
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In this show, we listen to first-hand accounts of people who have gone beyond the veil and
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return to talk about it.
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We're pleased to have with us today Crystal Ray from her lake house.
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Hi Eric, how are you?
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Good to be with all of you.
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Tell us something about your lake house.
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Well, my lake house is kind of my little sanctuary.
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I own three yoga studios in Dallas and I'm an author and also an artist.
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So I have a real creative soul.
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So one of the things I love about this particular lake house is it's only an hour away from
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my home, which is like fantastic.
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I can come down here and there's solitude and peace.
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I always feel like when I walk into the lake house, like my blood pressure just goes, it's
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so peaceful.
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That's like me with the ocean or the mountains.
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Same thing.
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Just let the stress kind of wash away.
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The blood pressure comes down.
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The creative side of the brain opens up.
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Anyway, would you tell us a little bit about you?
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I guess the thing I should tell you is that I'm just recently married.
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I've been married for two years now.
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I have a wonderful husband.
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After 28 years of being single, and by the way, that was following the 28 years was following
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a near death experience, which we'll talk about soon, I'm sure.
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But I spent all of that time, those 28 years kind of working on this soul mission to share
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with the world that love is all that matters.
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And of recent, I am just now the most poignant thing in my life is I am about to publish
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the book that I was told to write, that book that I was told to write in this near death
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experience.
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So that's consumed a lot of my time between yoga and writing a book.
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My art has kind of suffered, but I have two children who are grown with some grandchildren
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that call me grandma, which I love.
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They think I'm the cool grandma.
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And I've got five dogs and two cats.
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And again, a lovely husband.
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I didn't mean to put him in that list, but those are the top.
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Dog cat husband, I get it.
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Yeah, cat, dog, husband, children, grandchildren, couple of yoga studios.
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I'm called the yoga mama because I really my job is really as a mentorship.
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We have had studios for 20 something years and we have thousands of teachers all over
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the United States, Europe, Canada, in particular in Dallas.
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We have three studios and it's been a lot of fun to be a mentor and a guide for many
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young women and men throughout my life.
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I say young as in 35, 40, I'm now 61.
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Well, I would have believed when you were doing the math earlier, 28 years of being
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single, two years of married, I was going to let people just believe that you were 30
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years old.
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Thanks.
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I feel like I'm 35.
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Like if I had to pick a number, that would be it.
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I don't know many 61 year olds that can walk on their hands and put their foot behind their
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head, but I'm one of them.
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Anyway, hey, let's get into talking near death experiences.
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That's what we do here.
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And I'm really glad that you agreed to be on and talk about yours because what led up
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to it is also interesting.
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I mean, it was kind of a spectacular, I guess, accident that you had.
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But why don't you give us a little background, what was going on and led up to this?
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Okay.
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So I had a very turbulent childhood.
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I think that's probably normal for many Americans, dysfunctional functional.
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So my parents were drinkers and a little bit abusive.
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And so my childhood was very kind of a tormented.
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And as a result, I really had a really deep and questioning soul.
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When you become the parent to your parent, you're not really given the opportunity to
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be a child.
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And so I always had these very elevated thoughts at a very young age.
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I remember one morning in particular when I was being forced to clean the ceiling or
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something and having this really poignant conversation with what I understood to be
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God at that time.
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And I remember thinking, you know, if there's good people and bad people in the world and
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if that is the parameter to get into heaven or avoid hell, it didn't matter to me.
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I just chose to be a good person because I am a good person.
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And it was my first real sense of worthiness in my life because I suddenly realized that
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that means I am a good person.
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And with that, Eric, I turned around and walked off the counter where I was cleaning the ceiling
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and I fell into a void.
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All I can call is a void, which was like a whirling time and space where I saw myself
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from a distance curled in a fetus position.
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And it wasn't it was almost like a tornado, but it wasn't really a tornado because there
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was no sound.
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It was just this whirling time and space.
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And I was in the middle and I was very peaceful.
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And it came to us to a very gradual halt.
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And I was floating out in this like serene velvet night with stars.
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And I looked out in the distance and I said, huh, those are stars or energy.
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And that's what we are.
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I am.
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And boom, I was back in my body.
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The most interesting thing about that experience is that I never hit the ground.
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I fell face first into the ground.
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I never hit it.
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And the reason I know I didn't hit it because I ended up standing on my feet like a cat.
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Wow.
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You know, I can't always land on their feet.
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And then I had this experience.
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I thought, oh, well, I must have hit my head.
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You know, you tried to justify and somehow saw stars and made it to my feet.
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So I went to the restroom.
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I look for you know, you can't dive into the floor without having at least a bruise or
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cut something bump.
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I had nothing.
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And so I went and I told my brother, God saved me.
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God saved me because I had this like a maybe he started laughing thinking I had completely
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lost my mind.
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And I started laughing.
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We both ended up laughing.
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I said, listen, Mark, I understand.
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It sounds crazy, especially since we come from this agnostic atheist home where God
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was only damned.
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Really wasn't really welcome in the house.
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And so he I said, but never forget.
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And the funny thing is that my brother is now a minister, right.
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And he's been my even though he didn't see the fall, he wasn't there.
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But he's been my because I somehow knew as a little girl that I would think this was
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a dream.
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You know, I mean, because it's so fantastic.
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I said, just never forget that this happened.
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So year by year, I said, do you remember?
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He's like, yeah, I remember.
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But all of that, just to put into context of like post falling from there, I started
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calling Sunday school buses.
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I kept looking for answers, walking to church.
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I was baptized five times because I didn't feel it.
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How old did you say you were at that time?
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I was this is between the age of 11 and 13 when I was on this great mission to find truth.
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So I would walk to church.
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I would call my mom thought I had literally lost my mind.
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I read the Bible seven times forward and back.
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And I was I could not find in any spiritual text, not even the Bible, because I read a
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lot.
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The love and the all encompassing sense of all pervasive forgiveness, kindness, grace,
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love that I felt in that moment.
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And so the last guy that I went to when I was a young girl before I kind of gave up
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on religion was a guy that was one of those evangelistic healers that like puts his hand
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on your head and you fall back and then you're healed and all this stuff.
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Right.
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And he's basically a hypnotist.
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There was people lining up.
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They were all falling.
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I thought, well, why not?
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Let's give this a try.
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But the minute he touched me, I knew it was not that radiant energy.
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It was a very heavy, dark energy that felt bad.
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And I remember saying I did fall back and I came up and I said, that is not love.
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That is not that's.
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And then they escorted me out because they were like, she didn't act properly.
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He did not act properly.
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And I was escorted out.
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So I went I just kind of put, you know, at this time, this my turbulent childhood.
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I know I left home at 17 between 13 and 17.
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There was a lot of upheaval, you know, teenager stuff and just trying to survive in my very
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dysfunctional home.
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So I put all of that on the back.
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I had to just survive.
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I just said, OK, I let that go.
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Seventeen, I left home.
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I remember my mom, her going away speech was, you know, you're going to be a prostitute,
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or drop out of school, be a drug addict.
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You don't have parents.
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You don't have a family.
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You don't even exist.
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Wow.
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No wonder you left.
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And so I was like, OK.
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I made straight A's.
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I graduated cum laude.
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I worked.
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I have my own apartment.
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I worked my way through college.
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You know, I did all of this.
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Sounds rough.
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It was really hard.
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It gave me a sort of grit that I think was necessary for my life, because now as a mentor
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and as a guide, someone can look in my eyes and say, oh, but I've had this horrible thing.
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You know, I've been raped.
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I've been pillaged.
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I've been abused.
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And I can say, look in my eyes and you see I've done all of that, had all of that.
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And I still choose love, because all of this other stuff doesn't really matter.
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Yeah.
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Can I can we pause for just a second?
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I want to I want to find out just a little bit more about the experience that you had
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with that healer, because people are looking all over the world for truth.
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Right.
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And you were you were looking at different churches, et cetera.
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And I think the thing that people forget that we can learn from your experience there is
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that you were you knew that you would feel the truth when it was in front of you.
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It sounds like a lot of people are looking in other ways.
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They're trying to, you know, scientifically or book learn their way into truth.
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But when we're talking about something spiritual, we have to learn that in a spiritual way.
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Right. And wasn't that what you were doing?
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Well, my experience was that I could feel the truth of this.
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And I was the the the thing is, I really wanted I wasn't going to lie to myself.
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Like when they said, you know, they dunk you underwater and you come up and they say, you
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have this new life, you're this new person.
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I was I recognize because of the experience of falling into this void of time and space,
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but this was not the true experience of freedom and love and all expansive kindness and goodness.
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I recognize it because I had a reference point.
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So I think the problem perhaps is that a lot of times we don't have that reference point,
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you know, to to say, I know what it I know what it is.
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I've been there, you know, and that's I know what it should feel like.
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I know that it's not this, you know, not this, not that.
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And I'm not saying, you know, that religion doesn't have a place because I feel like for
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me, religion is a stepping stone to truth.
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And I always say, if you're going to be a Christian, if you're going to be a Buddhist,
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you're going to be whatever your religion is, be a good one.
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Do it well.
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But don't be so dogmatic that that's the only path.
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That's my my thing.
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If it serves you to call upon Jesus or Buddha or whatever to keep you grounded, what's the
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problem with that?
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I don't see a problem with it.
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For me, it's universal love.
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It's light.
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It does.
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It's non differentiated because of my experience.
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It is definitely not embodied enough to say that these people didn't exist and are not
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avatars.
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But I know that above and beyond that, at least from my experience, what we are is the
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pure essence of beingness.
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It's a light.
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It's an energy.
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It's all pervasive, non differentiated.
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And yes, it can be personalized for certain levels of consciousness for as need be, you
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know, but it doesn't necessarily make it.
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It's just a stepping stone.
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I think eventually my truth is eventually everyone will leave those avatars and embodiments
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behind and recognize the truth of all existence is a all pervasive love that is expressed
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in particles of light and energy.
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And if one were to ever get an email from you, I'd love to this down at the bottom.
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It just said love is why.
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Love is why everything.
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So the why of our existence, you know, I remember in college reading several books, but one
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most poignantly by Victor Frankel, Man's Search for Meaning.
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Yes, I've read it.
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A Holocaust story.
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But what he found is that people have to have meaning and purpose in their life.
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And of course, a little bit of luck to avoid being shot by the Nazis.
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But to continue to survive.
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How can you survive when, like, for example, in a childhood where, you know, you're being
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abused and you're being you have little to eat and you have you're forced to work and,
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you know, how do you survive these kind of holocaustic experiences of life?
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And you have to have purpose and meaning.
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And my purpose and my meaning was that little girl saying to simply I want to be good for
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goodness sake.
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I don't want to be good to get to heaven.
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That seems corrupt to me, even at 13.
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And I don't want to be good to avoid hell.
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And I really didn't even want to sign up for a God that could create a flawed being and
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then punish it for being flawed.
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It just seems so ridiculous to me.
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Like, OK, if you're going to do this, it just seems it seemed really.
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And beyond that, like this is a finite point of time, 89 years, 100 years of life, and
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you will suffer for all eternity for this speck of nothing in context of all of eternity.
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The math is wrong.
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It should be the reverse of that.
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So I had a really hard time coming to terms with all of that.
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Your logic makes sense.
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All right.
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Let's fast forward a little bit towards your near death experience.
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OK.
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So fast forward post divorce, feeling much like a failure, like Cinderella and the shoe
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didn't fit.
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Somewhat like my mom was right about me.
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You know what I mean?
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Because she had said all these negative things and I couldn't even sustain a marriage.
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I did have two beautiful children and I didn't really date for about a year and a half because
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I had been married for 13 years and I just I had never to me divorce was not a possibility
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because it wasn't going to be my mother who had divorced.
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And of course I did.
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But so after about a year and a half, I decided, well, this is unhealthy.
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We need human contact.
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All I did was stay home and work with the kids and do my thing.
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But it was a very solitary time in my life.
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And so I decided that I would date just friendly dating.
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And I decided to go on a trip with a friend of mine who was very interested in dating
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me.
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But I said, listen, I'm not ready to date date, but I'll go with you as long as I can
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bring my cousin.
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Chaperone.
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A little chaperone for this 35 year old woman.
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And he said yes.
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And we went on this trip.
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And what I found is that it really wasn't my life, I was very kind of clean living.
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I didn't I never have drank.
291
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I never smoked.
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I never did drugs.
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It was not because as a judgment again to sit.
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It's probably just because it's an eight and who I am.
295
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But this particular gentleman that I went with his family drank, they cussed, they smoked.
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You know, it was just an environment that was very toxic for me and for my cousin who
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was this beautiful clarinetist in the Dallas Opera.
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And so we decided like, you know, this is really not as much fun as it looked like it
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was going to be.
300
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So I was leaving a day early.
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So I told my friend, I said, listen, I think we're going to head out a little early back
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to Dallas.
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And he said, OK, let me take you to the airport.
304
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Well, on the way to the airport, we were going up a mountain and there was a car coming down.
305
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It was icy conditions, kind of a blizzardy is in veil.
306
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And this car hit.
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We started spinning, first of all.
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And then he put the brakes on.
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We started spinning this car that was skidding towards us, hit my side of the car, crushing
310
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the side of my door in, continuing to spin us around and threw us off a cliff, which
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was twenty five feet before you hit the ground and then we rolled ten times.
312
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So to your earlier point, it was a very kind of spectacular wreck.
313
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I'm sure it's kind of one of those things you see in the movies and go that never happens,
314
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but actually it did.
315
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,800
It sounds just like a movie.
316
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I think we can all picture that from some movie from some movie.
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Yeah.
318
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But it actually happened.
319
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And when this happened, I had a very spiritual experience that even today, some what, thirty
320
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years later, I'm still in reverence to.
321
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:10,160
And this experience started with time slowing down.
322
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And me viewing my own existence from a panoramic view, three dimensional view of everything
323
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that had happened and most importantly, the poignant things that had happened in my life
324
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and the ripple effect of my actions, both good and bad, out to Infinium, like how a
325
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kind act would go out and out and out and also an uncounted act the same way.
326
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And I saw everything from three dimensional views and three hundred sixty five degree
327
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view like front and back.
328
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It was all encompassing view of every single thing, which sounds impossible in a span of
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a few seconds, which I'm sure it took us to hit the ground.
330
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But I was shown in that in that moment, this view.
331
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And I remember thinking, oh, I didn't know I was going to die today.
332
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Like it was a surprise to me.
333
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:07,600
But I didn't have the typical fear response that most people have based on my childhood
334
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experience where I had already fallen into this vortex.
335
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So I was like super calm, like I was calmer than a cat, like I was a Zen moment.
336
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I remember looking in the car, the guy who was driving was frantic.
337
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The cousin in the back seat was screaming.
338
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And I remember looking back and having so much compassion for her, like, I'm so sorry
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for your fear.
340
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And then I just kind of slumped in my seat and said, OK, you know, it's too late.
341
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I'm going into the light was the last thing I said, I'm going into the light.
342
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And then I was shown in those moments, like multiple realities of which I could choose,
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one of which I could come back and be crippled or have brain damage or I could die.
344
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These are all possible lines of energy or possible destinies.
345
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And of course, the one where I come back and I meet Eric.
346
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Yay, you picked the right one.
347
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And so this is the one I chose and write a book about love.
348
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And so I was shown all these possible destinies and opportunities.
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I was shown my children also would have different life timelines based on what I chose, but
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that each soul is here for the bliss of their own existence and that my children's life
351
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was not dependent on me, which was quite a shock because I was quite the mother bear
352
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that they would be fine without me, which I was really shocked about that.
353
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And I had always, I think, based on, you know, my childhood, seen life as like a big heavy
354
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burden like life is like you've got to be good, a good mother, a good wife, a good ex
355
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wife, a good daughter, a good this, a good that.
356
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,760
And there was not at that point in my life a lot of joy.
357
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Probably the opposite of that, it was just like life seemed like a heavy burden.
358
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And in that moment, I was shown three poignant things that I spoke with you about the other
359
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day that changed my my view of life forever.
360
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:17,040
And they don't they're simple things, but they absolutely changed my life.
361
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:25,400
And the first one was that I was shown that I had never seen or experienced the sunrise,
362
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which of course I have, but I hadn't really seen it with the full expression and then
363
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:36,760
the symbolic meaning of the sun rising and setting and how that is symbolic of our lives
364
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and the opportunity that we're offered each day as the sun rises and the opportunity as
365
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the sun sets to let everything go and rest.
366
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:50,840
And then second thing I was shown is that I never really smelled freshly cut grass.
367
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:55,960
I had this overwhelming like when someone's mowing their lawn and you have that freshly
368
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,440
cut grass smell that we all recognize.
369
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:03,880
And I was just shown like I hadn't seen the beauty in the things that I had just disregarded
370
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:04,880
because I was too busy.
371
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In other words, I hadn't stopped to smell the roses much less to smell freshly cut grass
372
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:17,400
and all of the beautiful things that were around me that I had just completely disregarded
373
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like the scent of freshly cut grass.
374
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:26,040
And thirdly, I was shown that I had never ever reached out and touched someone.
375
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:30,280
Of course I have three children, two children.
376
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,840
I had a couple of miscarriages, so that's why I said three.
377
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,520
I have two live children that made it.
378
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:42,840
I actually had six pregnancies and only two children, which is probably one of the worst
379
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,160
things for a marriage, but that's another story.
380
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:50,640
I had these two children, so obviously I had had intimate contact with someone, but I was
381
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:56,840
shown that I had never really fully embraced the gift of physical touch, of being able
382
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,360
to reach out.
383
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:02,040
You know, when you lose someone like a loved one, I think one of the things that we all
384
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,280
know that we miss most is that we can no longer reach out and touch them, like give them a
385
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:13,480
hug, like hold their hand, like brush your fingers through their hair, like those things
386
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,880
that we miss when they're gone.
387
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:19,600
And I was shown like I had all these gifts and I had not really even seen the beauty
388
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,760
of my own life because I was too busy with the burden.
389
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:29,520
So one of the big shifts when I came back out of this experience was that my verbiage,
390
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:34,240
nothing outside necessarily changed, but that my verbiage about my life changed because
391
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:41,080
instead of seeing I have to be good, I realized I get to be a good mother.
392
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,320
I get to smell the roses.
393
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,720
I get to smell freshly cut grass.
394
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,720
I get to reach out and touch you.
395
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:46,720
I get to.
396
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,440
That's a gift.
397
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,400
It's called life.
398
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,000
And I really had a different experience.
399
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:59,280
And post-accident, there was a lot of chaotic stuff going on, too much to really talk about
400
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,280
in a short broadcast.
401
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,280
But...
402
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,640
Were you badly injured?
403
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,400
Surprisingly not.
404
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,120
And here's the really crazy thing about that.
405
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:16,160
I did have a severe neck injury, but my cousin who was in the backseat of this small little
406
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:20,000
red Jeep we were in was banged around from side to side.
407
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:25,360
She broke every bone in her face, her eye sockets, her jaw, everything.
408
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:29,560
She had 90% brain damage.
409
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,780
They said she would never talk again, walk again.
410
00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:36,840
The guy driving the car had a broken arm and some back injuries.
411
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,320
I had a severe neck injury.
412
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:46,480
But the crazy thing about it is that my cousin completely healed.
413
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,520
Her IQ is back to where it was.
414
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,680
She had 18 operations.
415
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,840
She's this beautiful musician.
416
00:25:55,840 --> 00:26:00,400
She became the lead clarinetist and enhanced her musical skills at the Dallas Opera when
417
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,620
she healed.
418
00:26:01,620 --> 00:26:03,000
She meant the love of her life.
419
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,480
She forgot 10 years where she was married to two alcoholic husbands.
420
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,480
She's the only member that she had.
421
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,040
Not a bad deal.
422
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,640
It was a blessing.
423
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,600
I came back with this severe neck injury.
424
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,560
It's a crazy story.
425
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,760
I'll share it if you'd like.
426
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,320
But they took x-rays of my neck.
427
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:27,920
And the first x-ray came back that I had a broken neck.
428
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:33,280
And the second x-ray came back that I did not have a broken neck because I put my hand
429
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,080
on my neck and I said, no, that's not my death.
430
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,200
That's not my destiny.
431
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,720
I'm not supposed to have a broken neck.
432
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,880
And I felt heat moving through my hand into my neck.
433
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,520
Third, fourth x-rays, no broken neck.
434
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:51,000
So they did tell me I had to sign a release saying, we're not responsible if you leave
435
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,000
the hospital.
436
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,160
But they got off the hook.
437
00:26:56,160 --> 00:27:00,520
But I did have severe whiplash, which was the entrance into my yoga journey, which has
438
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,900
been such a healing journey.
439
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:06,400
So I'm really grateful for the neck injury because I would not have found yoga.
440
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,880
One of my chiropractors that I was seeing three times a week because I could not turn
441
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:15,640
my neck, I literally was moving like a 100-year-old person where I couldn't turn my neck.
442
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,800
He said, you know, Crystal, if you just do yoga, you could heal your neck.
443
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,880
And I said, excuse me?
444
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,040
Isn't yoga what you do when you don't want to do exercise?
445
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,600
Because I was like this driven girl.
446
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,400
And he said, no, you should try yoga.
447
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,400
And he was right.
448
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,160
So yoga absolutely healed my neck.
449
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,400
But it not only healed my neck, it healed my body, it healed my soul, it healed all
450
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:43,960
the stress in my tissues, like they call it issues in your tissues.
451
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,600
Like I unwound myself on the yoga mat.
452
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:54,360
And I learned to stay in uncomfortable places, foot behind the head, for example, and breathe
453
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,960
through discomfort.
454
00:27:55,960 --> 00:28:00,080
And it taught me things I could never learn anywhere else and how to stay with things
455
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:01,080
in my life.
456
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:07,520
So the neck injury was a great entrance to the next decades of my life, which I'm still
457
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,040
in right now.
458
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,920
So it was a really beautiful thing.
459
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:17,040
Post-accident, I saw auras around people, which I had no verbiage for because I was,
460
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,920
again, not a spiritual being.
461
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,320
I was just a girl who wanted to do good.
462
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,920
I knew people's thoughts.
463
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:28,600
I didn't want to touch anyone because I could feel the deepest fear and their greatest joy.
464
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:29,960
And it was just overwhelming.
465
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,880
I did not want all this information.
466
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,600
I was like, listen, this is not for me.
467
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,640
This is not what I signed up for.
468
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:41,960
And I eventually learned how to close that energy down so that it wasn't such an open
469
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:46,840
door to all these experiences that I wasn't ready to.
470
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:51,640
I had to do a lot of self-healing before I could take on other people's, which is the
471
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:57,640
last 20 years, basic 30 years of my life was when I was given this mission to write a book
472
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:02,080
and tell the world that love is all that matters, coming from my dysfunctional childhood where
473
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,600
I fell in love.
474
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,280
My father left very young.
475
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,520
My mother remarried, alcoholic husband.
476
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:15,480
Her inspirational thing was, of the day, was I can't wait for you, GD kids, to grow up
477
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,240
and get the hell out of here.
478
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,880
And so I didn't feel loved as a child.
479
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:26,080
Although I have to say, even though my mom was very dysfunctional, somehow I always knew
480
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:31,720
she loved me, which was a great comfort, even though she couldn't express it in the terms
481
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,680
that a normal mother would.
482
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:40,760
And my marriage, I married somebody who just liked women a lot.
483
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,920
Really good guy.
484
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:48,920
I mean, lovely man and a great person and ended up being a decent father and a good
485
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,960
friend, but not a good husband.
486
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:59,240
So I was like, why would I be the one chosen to talk about love?
487
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,400
It seemed like such an unlikely match.
488
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,000
And so I spent the rest.
489
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,240
I knew that it was a mission that I had to heal myself.
490
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:15,080
And I realized that this, all the context and the challenging complexity of my marriage
491
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:22,120
and childhood gave me a foundation where I could speak directly to people with trauma
492
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:26,760
and drama and say, yes, it is a possibility.
493
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:33,560
And yes, we do magnetize things into our life for our soul to evolve, but it's all for love.
494
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:40,780
All of our challenges and all of our gifts are to the benefit of our own personal evolution
495
00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:43,360
and soul expansion and for the benefit of the whole.
496
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:50,480
Like it all works in a bigger picture and a wider view for the benefit of having the
497
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:56,400
experience of the experience so that we could know it more profoundly.
498
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,440
And I think I'm one of those souls who said, bring it on.
499
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:01,440
Let me feel it.
500
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:06,360
Let me dive deep into the darkness so that I can face anyone who's having these issues
501
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,880
and say, listen, look at me, look in my eyes.
502
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,600
I have beat the odds.
503
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,760
I've done the work.
504
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,040
I've seen the science.
505
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:18,440
People that have this childhood, they don't end up where I'm at normally, but it is a
506
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,440
possibility.
507
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,440
Yeah.
508
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,440
It is a possibility.
509
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:26,880
And love, and back to your question, in love is, you know, I've always felt like there's
510
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:34,120
been angels and guides by my side, even when I not necessarily was like in a spiritual
511
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,120
life, but they were always there, kind of there.
512
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,960
And the reason why they're there is because of love.
513
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,980
Like love is the answer.
514
00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:42,340
It's all that matters.
515
00:31:42,340 --> 00:31:43,560
It's the why of everything.
516
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,120
It's the answer to questions you haven't even asked.
517
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,960
And I also know that everything is already in completion.
518
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:54,400
Like there is no sense, there is no real time that the past, the present, and the future
519
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,560
is all on top of itself in the eternal now.
520
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:03,240
And in that sense, like it all makes sense when you see things from this perspective.
521
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,160
And by the way, the soul is never hurt.
522
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:10,200
Like regardless of what happens to us, either mentally, physically, or emotionally, the
523
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:18,240
soul is always innocent, always pure, untarnished, unburdened, and is choosing to have this experience
524
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:23,360
for the experience and for the profundity of what that offers to the soul and to the
525
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:24,360
whole.
526
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,560
I know that's a lot in a mouthful.
527
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:27,560
Sorry.
528
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:34,160
Do you think that one of the reasons why you felt this calling to talk about love is because
529
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,520
there were times in your life where you didn't feel loved.
530
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,640
And so you can really understand the contrast.
531
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,720
I definitely would say that yes to that question.
532
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:50,620
That is definitely for sure that I, and I never even like a lot of people feel unworthy
533
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:51,680
of love.
534
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,520
I never really had that.
535
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,440
I just felt unloved.
536
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:01,200
I felt like something I was doing was wrong, but it, and somehow I was making the wrong
537
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,200
choices.
538
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:08,840
And now that it's all energy and like attracts like, and I was in a certain energy tractor
539
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:13,980
field that attracted a certain person and people in places because that's the energy
540
00:33:13,980 --> 00:33:19,360
where my soul would best be served to grow and to learn and to serve.
541
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,360
If we can go back to the accident for just a minute.
542
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,360
Okay.
543
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:28,360
You mentioned that you, that you saw different paths that you had to choose from.
544
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,720
I forget your exact wording.
545
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:34,720
Was that symbolic or was that a literal seeing something?
546
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,200
No, it was a literal.
547
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:42,660
Not only did I see the path, I saw it to its completion.
548
00:33:42,660 --> 00:33:46,160
I saw these different paths from beginning to end.
549
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,760
Like they all, all paths lead home.
550
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:49,760
They all lead to love.
551
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:50,760
They all lead to God.
552
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:55,440
They all lead to whatever you want to call it, but this source of creation.
553
00:33:55,440 --> 00:34:02,560
And it didn't necessarily matter which path I took because the end is already complete.
554
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:07,580
It's all for all of us from mother Teresa to Hitler, all the same.
555
00:34:07,580 --> 00:34:12,320
The end is all, it's just a bumpy road, a dark path, a high road.
556
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:17,560
And we know we take a lot of these different paths for the benefit of the soul, having
557
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:18,780
the experience.
558
00:34:18,780 --> 00:34:25,000
Because if I was to tell you, Hey, Eric, write me a thesis on apples, but you've never eaten
559
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:29,440
an apple, but you knew how to speak about apples, let's say, because you've done the
560
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:30,440
science on it.
561
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:36,440
So biology of an apple, poetically, you could speak about it, the beauty of an apple.
562
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:41,440
Intellectually, you could make references philosophically about an apple, but you've
563
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,880
never really bitten into the apple.
564
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,960
So for me, what life is, and I love the apple because it's kind of like a spiritual analogy,
565
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:49,960
right?
566
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,880
It's taking the bite of the apple so that you can have the visceral experience of it,
567
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:59,320
which is quite different than the intellectual understanding that maybe a computer would
568
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,320
say this and this and this equals that.
569
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,320
But the computer can't bite the apple.
570
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,480
We can.
571
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,760
That was what I was shown about.
572
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,560
These are the gifts of your life.
573
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:14,080
You get to have this visceral experience unavailable and unparalleled in the universe.
574
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:19,160
It's such a gift to be born and so rare in the universe to be born a human and a very
575
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:26,680
challenging and stern teacher planet Earth because of free will, choice, contrast, change.
576
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,520
Yeah, this is not the easiest place to be, especially right now.
577
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:40,640
No, but it's for those souls who are like want truth, that want to dive deep.
578
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,360
And it's powerful.
579
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,480
It's a powerful place of change.
580
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,080
Quite awesome when you see it from a distance.
581
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:52,240
Yeah, are you able to remember any of the other paths that you saw?
582
00:35:52,240 --> 00:36:01,160
Well, the one where I came and I was crippled in a wheelchair, an old woman and dying and
583
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:07,960
such another where I was, you know, had a different level of intellect that meant many
584
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,760
other people had to be caretakers.
585
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,000
And you know, there was many, many, many, by the way, I'm just mentioning a few like
586
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:19,400
there it's amazing the information download that you that I had I particularly had in
587
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:20,400
that moment.
588
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,760
But these are the poignant ones that I remember.
589
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,840
And there were subtleties like they could have been like even in this path, there's
590
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,560
subtle roads that I could have taken.
591
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,080
I could have married a different person.
592
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:30,920
I could have you know what I mean?
593
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:36,040
There's it's not just one path and you're continually changing your destiny with each
594
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,240
choice.
595
00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:42,600
I read this book, Eric, it was really interesting called Einstein's Dreams.
596
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:47,920
And in this book, there's a woman walking across a field that's covered with snow and
597
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:53,600
she's wearing a long white dress and poignantly has this beautiful red hat on.
598
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:58,200
And the wind blows the hat away, but she doesn't notice.
599
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:03,600
And there is a man up on the terrace and he notices and he's watching from the distance.
600
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,440
And it shows these three different destinies that this man has where he callers out to
601
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,240
the woman, Miss, Miss, Miss, your hat, your hat.
602
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:12,880
And she says, thank you, she picks the hat up and goes.
603
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:18,240
The second where he runs down and he just shyly hands her the hat and shakes her hand
604
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:21,800
and goes upon his way and forever remains a bachelor.
605
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:25,160
And the third where he invites her to coffee and they get married and have three kids and
606
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,640
two dogs and a cat and whatever, you know.
607
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:34,000
And so the point of sharing the story was that similarly to me and my near death experience,
608
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:41,720
I was shown that even the smallest choices shift the compass of our lives and lead us
609
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:46,280
to unimaginable new lands of opportunity, growth and evolution.
610
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:50,520
And so it would be something so simple as like, should I put pink lipstick on because
611
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,480
I'm a girly girl or red lipstick?
612
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,400
And I was like, what's the right choice?
613
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:02,380
And to your point that you mentioned earlier, there really isn't a wrong choice.
614
00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:05,160
It's just a choice that brings you more joy.
615
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:10,640
So if pink brings you more joy today, put pink on and feel into that.
616
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:15,520
So I got really good at feeling into, because each soul is here for the bliss of its own
617
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:21,760
existence, even if that means in a challenging life such as a concentration camp or a childhood
618
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:27,800
that's very challenging, the soul is there for the bliss of having that visual experience.
619
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:34,880
So now as an adult and a woman who's free to make her own decisions, I get to decide
620
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,520
between pink lipstick and red lipstick.
621
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:45,520
And the way I make those simple and obviously more complex choices in my life is by feeling
622
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:46,520
joy.
623
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,760
And here's one thing I've noticed and I teach a lot of my students is that most people look
624
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:55,240
at these big crossroads of their life and think, this is a crossroad.
625
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:56,920
This is where my life changed.
626
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,640
That's not true.
627
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:04,100
Your life changed when you made little choices that led you to this choice, to that choice,
628
00:39:04,100 --> 00:39:09,120
to this particular crossroad and not another crossroad.
629
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:13,440
So our choices become very poignant when you recognize this.
630
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:19,280
It can be a little overwhelming until you realize that the answer is always love.
631
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:24,720
And love is always expressed and experienced as joy, even if it's challenging.
632
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:31,600
It's kind of the joy of figuring out a complex mathematic algorithm or something.
633
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,400
It's really hard, but there's so much joy being deep into the problem.
634
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,400
You know what I mean?
635
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,680
It's like delicious to be in that problem.
636
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,120
And by the way, I'm not a mathematician.
637
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:42,440
It's maybe another life.
638
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,880
That's a wishful thinking for me because I'm dyslexic and I flip numbers around.
639
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:52,540
And even though I graduated magna cum laude, I had to take elementary math twice before
640
00:39:52,540 --> 00:39:57,120
I could pass what I call statistics instead of statistics.
641
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:04,120
I remember that class or class in my major classes in statistics.
642
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:08,440
I'm trying to understand something here and I hate to keep going.
643
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,280
I hate to keep going back.
644
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:16,560
But as I talk to people and do interviews like this all the time now, some people have
645
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,160
choices to come back.
646
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,120
Some people are just told to come back.
647
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:27,960
Some have choices like you did various paths, but a lot don't or else they don't remember
648
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:28,960
them anyway.
649
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:34,080
And it's hard to understand why if someone had a choice, maybe they would pick a path
650
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:38,480
that to us in this world seems very painful.
651
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:46,840
Like maybe the path they chose or was just given to them meant a long-term brain injury,
652
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:50,400
a long-term paralysis, who knows what.
653
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,720
Do you have any feeling on that?
654
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:53,760
I do.
655
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:57,000
I think everything is divinely purposed.
656
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:07,600
I think souls, many souls come back and carry heavy burdens such as that in service to others.
657
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,900
And so they many times are not even in their bodies, but they come back as in service to
658
00:41:11,900 --> 00:41:16,640
others because there is some learning around the situation for the family, for the people
659
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,040
closest to them.
660
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:24,040
Or if they come back and they have a very unhappy life.
661
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:28,760
One thing I thought about a lot is like when you pass somebody on the street and you see
662
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:33,560
like a guy with a paper bag and a sign saying, God loves you, please gave me five bucks,
663
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,800
and you know he wants to go get drugs.
664
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:40,480
And most people look at this person and they think this guy is a loser, I'm not giving
665
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:45,280
him money or who cares, here's some money, go get some drugs, whatever the case may be.
666
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:52,840
But when I look at that person, I know from my own internal experience of it that some
667
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:58,880
people come back and they're born into, let's say a mother with methamphetamine addiction,
668
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:05,480
they're tortured as children, they come back with this very heavy life, like worse than
669
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,480
what we can even imagine.
670
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:11,840
And they end up on the street corner, but they are truly avatars that come and they
671
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,480
sit on the street corner.
672
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:19,920
So one person, in case one person, and perhaps me or you, drives by and we decide to put
673
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:23,960
our bottle down because we see what the result could be.
674
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:30,360
And so they're alive, they are, it's such a heavy burden that only a super evolved soul
675
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,480
or a baby soul would take that path, it's one or the other.
676
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:40,760
And so that path is either a super evolved or a baby soul that's there and embodying
677
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:46,440
this super heavy path.
678
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:54,840
And when I drive by someone like that, I just think how challenging it must be to have an
679
00:42:54,840 --> 00:43:01,000
addiction, to not have family, to live on the streets, to not have any potentiality
680
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:06,000
in my future, and what that soul must be going through.
681
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:14,320
And again, I don't believe any soul will be left behind, even the basest and most vile
682
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:22,640
creature that we call human will eventually evolve and find its way to its source, which
683
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:29,840
if the seed is love, the source is love, then that which comes out, even if it's full of
684
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,960
weeds all around it, that's what it will find its way to the light.
685
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:40,560
And so there's a couple of answers, I don't think there's a one size fits all for sure.
686
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:46,400
The fact that I was shown multiple destinies, I truly believe even if you were told you
687
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:53,880
have to go back, it was a soul choice that you made with this divine being that at this
688
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,800
point I probably won't want to go back, but you need to send me back.
689
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:58,960
I think it's a choice.
690
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:06,400
I don't believe anything is put upon us that we do not, of our own free will, choose.
691
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,960
That's why we're on planet Earth.
692
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:15,620
But we do have guides, we do have angels that whisper in our ear that for some reason you
693
00:44:15,620 --> 00:44:20,320
took this road, not that road, intuitive hit, and there's a big car accident.
694
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:27,460
I've had many occasions as such where I feel like angels and guides and spiritual masters
695
00:44:27,460 --> 00:44:30,120
have been by my side and I'm really grateful.
696
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,840
I don't think I would be sitting here.
697
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:38,640
The woman, powerful woman I am, had it not been for all the love that has been poured
698
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:44,400
out to me from these spiritual family that I have, that we all have.
699
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:50,680
How do you know when it's them whispering in your ear versus just Crystal's own thought
700
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,600
patterns going on in her brain?
701
00:44:52,600 --> 00:45:03,000
There's a very big differentiation because thoughts are disconnected from feeling.
702
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:10,040
Feeling is not necessarily connected to thought because you could say, for example, love is
703
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,800
a good experience, like an intimate love with someone.
704
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:18,200
Your mind could say, this is crazy, I shouldn't love this person, but your heart is open wide.
705
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,200
There's no connection to this.
706
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,240
It doesn't make sense.
707
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:31,640
I think that the intuitive hit of knowing is just a feeling.
708
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:39,120
There's been some times when I've had near fatal accidents in my life where you're an
709
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:46,000
inch away from some kind of big disaster and you know that someone was watching out because
710
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,320
it wasn't your time.
711
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:53,600
I think your time, by the way, when you talk about time to come, time to go, when there's
712
00:45:53,600 --> 00:46:00,440
nothing more to learn on this planet and there's no more love to give or to receive, there's
713
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,400
no reason to be here.
714
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:10,720
For me, I'm happy anytime I'm supposed to go when I'm not here for another meal, I'm
715
00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:14,940
not here for another pair of shoes, another anything.
716
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:23,000
If my soul can't learn, can't be of service, can't love, then I no longer need to be here.
717
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:28,960
I think if we're staying here in this realm, and again, we could leave and come back too.
718
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:33,360
If a lot of people can leave, like let's say they commit suicide or whatever, they're going
719
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,240
to come back.
720
00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:40,000
I don't believe that you're going to hell because you created, I don't really believe
721
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:44,520
in hell, first of all, but I don't believe that there, I do believe there's consequences,
722
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:49,360
that the consequences are rooted in love, not fear.
723
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:53,960
At any time, I think a lot of people manifest illnesses to leave the planet because they're
724
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,360
just so unhappy in their life.
725
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:02,160
When you're unhappy in your life, you start to decay in your cellular tissue.
726
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,960
Again, each soul, the most healing thing you can do.
727
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:12,000
Oh, by the way, just for your listeners, I was also told for those out there listening
728
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:17,680
to this who are healing that sound and light is the future of medicine, and to include
729
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:18,680
that in the book.
730
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,840
It's been a basis of my own personal healing.
731
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,360
I do sound baths weekly.
732
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:28,020
I don't know about the light expression, how that is meant, but I was told to write it,
733
00:47:28,020 --> 00:47:29,020
so I did.
734
00:47:29,020 --> 00:47:30,320
It's in the book.
735
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:35,320
I know that sound has a really powerful healing effect because we're all vibrational and there
736
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:40,320
is an attunement, and being in the presence of somebody with a high attunement is very
737
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:41,320
healing.
738
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:45,160
So for example, going to sleep with the TV on is not healing for the body.
739
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,440
It can be very the opposite of that.
740
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:53,000
Or watching the news, it can have a very detrimental effect because it's so much negativity that
741
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:57,680
it starts to shut the joy down in your body.
742
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,300
Oh, yeah, you can feel it.
743
00:48:00,300 --> 00:48:01,960
You can just feel yourself shutting down.
744
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,080
People say, well, don't you know this horrible thing's happening?
745
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,000
I'm like, no, I don't know.
746
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:12,280
I typically will know because somebody will tell you, but I don't absorb that.
747
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:18,000
They call it programs because it's programming you, in my opinion.
748
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,240
What is a sound bath?
749
00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:26,440
A sound bath is high vibrational instruments, and they're only high vibrational because
750
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,760
of the practitioner sending energy through them.
751
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:37,320
So it could be a bell, a gong, a chime, but when you're in a certain space, you move energy.
752
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:41,720
When I'm in that space, I almost feel like, and I give these every Friday night, I feel
753
00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:47,920
like I'm moving healing energy through the vibration of my voice, out of the instruments
754
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:52,200
that I'm playing as a healing modality for many, many people.
755
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:54,920
So that's what it's been for me.
756
00:48:54,920 --> 00:49:00,360
But I also feel that as I offer this, I get a lot of healing myself, necessary healing
757
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:07,400
for my own soul, which I think we're all in a continual process of healing because there's
758
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,480
always the little hits that come in life, little disappointments.
759
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:15,720
I would like to say that after near-death experience, you're completely enlightened,
760
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,000
but that's not true.
761
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,520
You're human.
762
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:24,900
We're all human, and I get to evolve along with everyone else because I've had an extraordinary
763
00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:31,760
experience, and I've done a lot of deep inner work and research.
764
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:35,800
I don't proclaim to be all-knowing or have all the answers.
765
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:41,640
I have the answers for me that are true for me, and if they resonate with you, then I'm
766
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,560
happy about that, and if they don't, I'm okay with that too.
767
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:49,320
Okay, I have one more question, but I'm going to mention the title of your book, Love Letters
768
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,320
to Your Soul.
769
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:54,800
That'll be interesting to find out why it's named that.
770
00:49:54,800 --> 00:50:00,580
It'll be out about the same time that this podcast is for people that are wondering.
771
00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:03,740
Your theme seems to be, love is why.
772
00:50:03,740 --> 00:50:07,520
How do we apply that into every decision that we make every day?
773
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:13,480
Okay, here's a question that I ask, especially in challenging decisions.
774
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:17,480
I ask myself, what is my most loving response?
775
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:24,040
Not what's the easiest, not even what's the kindest, the most generous, the most convenient,
776
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,000
what is my most loving response?
777
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:30,920
When I ask that question, I guess you have to ask yourself, what is love?
778
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:38,000
For me, the best definition of love comes from a great Indian sage, Ramana Maharishi,
779
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:42,880
who said when asked, he wrote nothing down, but asked by his disciples who translated
780
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:46,240
his words, master, what is love?
781
00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:49,460
This one statement changed my life.
782
00:50:49,460 --> 00:50:56,000
He said, love is the pure light of undifferentiated consciousness.
783
00:50:56,000 --> 00:51:00,920
If you break that down, it is quite profound.
784
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:06,120
When I say I ask myself, what is my most loving response?
785
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:14,440
I ask myself, what is the pure light, untarnished decision of undifferentiated consciousness,
786
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:21,200
meaning from a neutral space of absolute acceptance of all outcomes.
787
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,720
That most generous, loving, giving thing I can do.
788
00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:28,160
Sometimes that means slamming the door.
789
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,380
It's not necessarily what people think.
790
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:38,880
Sometimes that means opening the door and giving someone a hug, but it's like this feeling.
791
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:44,240
I don't always, I wish I could say I always move from a loving place, but I'm human.
792
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,740
I don't always do that.
793
00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:54,440
My husband has this innate ability to really trigger me in good and bad ways.
794
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,840
It's a continual process, but I do move most poignantly.
795
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:04,240
I think you said when you have a deadline that you're really, is when you're really,
796
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:08,760
when I'm under pressure, when things get really serious, I go really quickly, really deep
797
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:14,120
and I land right back in that space of pure light, of undifferentiated consciousness.
798
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:20,480
When you speak from that space and when you move from that space, it's a different life.
799
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,200
It's amazing.
800
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:23,200
It's transformational.
801
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,200
It's a simple question.
802
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,840
What is my most loving response?
803
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:30,360
Let's say someone flips you off on the highway.
804
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:31,840
Never happens, right?
805
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:32,840
Never.
806
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:33,840
Never.
807
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,120
Let's just say it does.
808
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,120
Then you say, what is my most loving response?
809
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:39,760
Maybe it's look the other way.
810
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,200
Maybe it's wave.
811
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:42,520
Maybe it's say a prayer.
812
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,600
I love the O Pona Pona prayer, very healing.
813
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:52,160
I'm sure you know about this prayer where it is to all beings, you say, please forgive
814
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,160
me.
815
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:56,280
I didn't mean to hurt you.
816
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:57,440
Thank you.
817
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,600
I love you.
818
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:04,680
And so you take any responsibility for the vibrational alignment with a person who's
819
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,800
willing to flip you off.
820
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:08,560
So there's no enemy.
821
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:14,480
You take full responsibility and you're fully self-reliant on your own purpose in life.
822
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,040
So nothing outside of you is even outside of you anymore.
823
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:21,600
You say everything is in vibrational alignment with my soul.
824
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:28,000
And to your question about love letters to your soul, it's an inspirational book that
825
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:36,680
really is a poetic guide to living this life based on love and having a more free existence
826
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,360
as a result of that.
827
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,520
The other book that's coming is going to be the book about the near-death experience,
828
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,520
but that's next.
829
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,680
I had to write the book I was told to write first.
830
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:46,680
Okay.
831
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:47,920
One thing at a time.
832
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:53,680
I think this world would be a great place if each of us, when we were asked a question,
833
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,880
why did you do this or why did you do that or why did you make this decision?
834
00:53:57,880 --> 00:54:01,680
If our answer was love is why.
835
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:03,160
Love is why.
836
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:04,160
Thank you, Crystal.
837
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,880
Appreciate you being on the show today.
838
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,360
It's such a pleasure.
839
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:17,640
Nice to meet you and I extend to you and all of your listeners, all my love, all my blessings.
840
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:21,640
If you have had a round trip death experience, we would love to hear about it.
841
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:25,320
Send an email to eric at roundtripdeath.com.
842
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:29,660
And lastly, if you have found this program uplifting, if it's given you just a little
843
00:54:29,660 --> 00:54:34,880
more hope in the future, share it with a friend, hit that follow button and take a few seconds
844
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,840
to write us a review.
845
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:41,640
Until next time, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the
846
00:54:41,640 --> 00:55:05,840
next.
