May 23, 2023
#325 - British Actor Jason Riddington's First Interview About His NDE

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Just under two years ago, British actor Jason Riddington suffered a brain aneurism that led to two identical Near Death Experiences. In this episode we will hear Jason's story of how he died, came back, and what he witnessed on the other side. It's an unusual story that includes a being in what appeared to be a black crow costume. He felt profoundly peaceful and lost all sense of time. He now has no fear of death. Find out what was Jason's motivation to come back from that heavenly place. RoundTripDeath.com JasonRiddington.com Donate to the show @ https://www.roundtripdeath.com/support/
Transcript
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I had intense fear and panic because we were obviously crashing. Out of my heart came the
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thought, oh god help, I'm going to die.
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From the time that they pronounced me dead was a good 45 minutes.
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It's determined that I was not breathing for 20 minutes.
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They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped. And I could
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see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realise that was actually my physical body
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because I was somewhere else.
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By which you went to the past far, in the afternoon, by half past seven I was dead, clinically
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dead, four minutes.
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And they were crying because I was dead and I was trying to tell them no, I'm not dead,
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I'm just fine, I'm okay.
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I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.
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I started to feel like I was surrounded by all this warm, loving, beautiful, soothing,
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loving energy.
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I'm back with God again. I just felt this all in my two breath of these, like, wow,
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I'm back.
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I'm back home again.
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Incredibly safe and felt at home. I'd come back home. It was a very strong feeling that
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I've come back home.
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The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't
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anything else to be felt.
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And light is literally emitting from him. And I could feel that that tremendous amount
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of love was coming through him as well.
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They were brighter than everybody else. And I just knew who they were.
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Welcome to Roundtrip Death, everybody. And I'd like to welcome to the show today a very
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special guest because we don't get celebrities very often.
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Jason Rittington from Buckinghamshire in England. Oh, I hope I said that close.
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Absolutely fine. Yeah, it's like Buckingham without the palace and then Shaw. Yeah, I'm
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looking at Shaw.
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Okay. Believe me, you're allowed to correct my American accent. It is.
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No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. I wouldn't dream of it.
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No offense here. For those that don't know Jason, I'm going to just read a couple of
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things from his resume. It is long, long, long, long. He has been doing all kinds of
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acting for years. You may have seen him in films like Death of an Author, Once Upon
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a Time in London, Lucid, Motherhood, Weathering Heights, King Lear on TV, and things like
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Doctors, EastEnders, Luther on stage, etc., etc. Jason, wow, it's an honor.
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It's an honor to meet you. It really is. Thank you for having me on your show.
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Now, of those things that I mentioned, do you happen to have any favorites?
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I guess, yeah, Wuthering Heights would be probably my favorite for a few reasons. The
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first is that was my first ever kind of gig. I was acting with Ray Fiennes and Juliet Benoche.
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Juliet Benoche was really established even back then. I was kind of like, oh my goodness
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me. I was kind of just given a real consumer lesson in film acting from Juliet Benoche.
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It was also the time that I learned to ride. Riding is a really big part of my life. I
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actually have a horse in common with Kevin Costner because I rode this white stallion
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called Chico in Wuthering Heights. I was told to ride on Chico in Wuthering Heights by the
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stunt coordinator, the riding stunt coordinator, Steve Dent. Steve had just finished filming
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Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner. If you know the bit where my friend Brian
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blesses in that movie with him as well, which is weird, but anyway, there's a bit where
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he jumps on the back of this white horse, wax it with his sword, and then gallops off.
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Well, that's Chico. I'm like, yay.
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Wow. I like that. Do you want to tell us anything about who Jason really is, where you came
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from, what you do when you're not acting?
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You know, that's a hard question in a way because since my brain injury, that's a tough
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one to really answer. I mean, I don't know about me and an acting now. I guess that's
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why I've kind of gone full bell into the writing side of things because it's a creative outlet
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and it allows me to have that kind of self-expression. But I struggled with so many things since
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my brain injury.
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All right. We're going to dive deeper into that in just a minute as a lead up to your
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NDE. But let me tease your book right now. It's called Life, Death, Tai Chi, and Me.
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And I think we're going to find out why in the next few minutes.
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Yeah.
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Okay. So tell us a little bit about what happened leading up to your near-death experience.
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Did you have any indication before the actual day of?
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Well, yes, I did, but I didn't think I had. I had basically, I'd been out cycling and
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I've done lots of cycling in my life and I'd done lots of cycling up big mountains in
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France. And I'd kind of had altitude sickness before from doing that kind of training. So
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I was like, I thought that when I did this bit of cycling at home and I got this really
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terrible headache and I was sick and all the rest of it, I thought, it's altitude sickness.
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I'm fine. So if anybody's listening and that happens to you, oh, too, you are. Straight
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away. It might be that it's altitude sickness, but equally, those are the telltale signs
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of a brain hemorrhage that has ruptured. So there were signs, but unbeknown to me.
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I cycle up a few mountains myself. I live in the mountains here in Utah. And I always feel
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lousy at the top of a mountain. It's hard work. So what's the difference?
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Tell me about it. Look, I went up this hill that we've got here called White Lip, right?
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Now, if you've cycled up mountains or you follow the tour or whatever, I used to have
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an apartment on the Colder Beesk. So I used to do the Colder Beesk, the Colder Salaw,
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the Colder Maribelon, Colder Port-A-Lay, all in one hit. So for me, going up a big climb
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in inverted commas in Buckinghamshire is kind of like nothing for someone who's done that
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kind of cycling. Right. It's a little hill. How much vertical
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is it? I couldn't say. It's nothing like the kind of ramp up that you get. Well, no, it
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is. It's as steep as that, but it's just short, really, really short in comparison to a big
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climb like the obese called the Port-A-Lay or something like that.
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And knowing it's short, I'm guessing you push real hard.
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Listen, I used to go up and down it five, 10 times just for training.
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Yeah, you don't have to pace yourself. So just push and next thing you know, you've got a
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great high intensity workout under your belt.
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Absolutely. And that was what I was going to go and do. I kind of hit the gradient and
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then I was, and this sounds sexist and it isn't sexist at all, but I was overtaken by a lady
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rider who asked me what happens. I hate when that happens.
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She asked me if I was okay and I was like, yeah, yeah, no, I'm fine. You know what I
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mean? I was like, just going for this. I was thinking, what is, what's going on? What's
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the matter? And I kind of felt okay. And then when I got to the top, I just, I really obviously
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didn't look okay because people were saying, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm fine.
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I think, you know, my, my ego got the better. You know, I was like, yeah, no, no, I'm fine,
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fine. So I took off down the slope, got to the bottom of it. And that's when I started,
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did this horrendous headache and started throwing up. And I was like, okay, is, you know, I'm
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just, I'm just not very well. That's why I couldn't do the climb very well. I'm just
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not very well. My wife's a show jumper. So we've got horses, you know, so I was like,
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I need to go and sort the boys out. So I went to the stables and I kind of fed the horses.
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And again, I was, you know, it was, I felt ill, but I wasn't kind of like stopped in
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my tracks ill. And I thought, okay, well, it's flat. I'll just, I'll just cycle back home
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gently. And then, you know, take myself off to bed and try and try and get better. So
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I did that. And I kind of felt a bit better. And then the rest is kind of murky phase,
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the one that really knows the time scales of things. Apparently I, I, I took Phoebe
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to school and drove back. And this isn't because I was, I was not in the right state to drive.
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This is because I can't remember things clearly after the brain.
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And it's okay to fill in with what Faye told you happened.
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Well, she told me so I drove, so I drove Phoebe, Phoebe back, I came home, got out the car
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and I, and I seemed completely fine. And then the next thing she heard was like a thud.
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And then apparently I'd kind of collapsed on the floor. I'd hit my lip on the, on the
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radiator. And I was out called she did CPR. Bless her the second time in her life that
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she's had to do this. She did that. She had a partner who she had to do this with and
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he didn't make it, you know. So she did CPR called the emergency services. And apparently
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everybody arrived like air ambulance, everyone gave me an adrenaline shot, put me into some
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kind of recovery. And then I was on my way to the hospital. And they put me in an induced
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coma to wait for, I think it was at the weekend. So they wanted to make sure they had their
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surgeons. They obviously stabilized me and everything. So they wanted to make sure that
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they had their surgeons to deal with what they knew was a burst aneurysm. And, and you
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know, I have no memory of it. That's all. It's, it's kind of insane really.
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But you do have some memory, I believe of what happened in, was it in surgery or after where
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you felt like you left your body? I didn't feel like I left my body and I have no idea
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when it, whether it was in surgery or after, you know, I have no idea of what was actually
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happening to me at the time. I just know that the experience that, that I had was, was very
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visceral was like being in a, in a, in a place for an indeterminate kind of amount of time.
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And there was no sensation of leaving my body or of, or of, or of being different to me.
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So did this feel like just a regular dream or somehow different?
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No, it was completely different because the first thing that was different was at the
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start of it. Have you, have you ever had the, the falling dream?
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Yes.
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Okay. So you know, in the falling dream, you wake up and you've got that feeling in the
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pit of your stomach. Yeah.
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So I had the falling dream four times in rapid succession. And then I had this feeling in
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the pit of my stomach. So the main sensation that I had was that feeling, the feeling of,
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of, I've, I've just fallen. But unlike the dream, I was there. Next to me was to begin
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with it was black all around me. Then it was kind of an, aic sort of white. And then I
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somehow was looking to my side, but also above at the same time. And don't ask me how, but
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that's kind of what the, what the visual image was. I wasn't seeing myself. I was literally
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seeing through my eyes. It was happening to me. So I wasn't witnessing anything other
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than I was, I was experiencing it. And then the person entity that was next to me was,
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was kind of almost sort of cheerfully comic in the most surreal and bizarre way. Because
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he had on this kind of, it's like, if you, if you were going to go to a fantasy dress
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costume and you thought, well, I'm going to dress like a crow. And I'm going to look
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like Robert Smith from the cure underneath this crow's outfit. That's kind of what you'd
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look like, which sounds ridiculous. But there he was lying there. And I could see all the
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details of like the little feathers on the, on the beak, because the beak had kind of
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feathers to it. It wasn't a different color. It was black, had little feathers that wafted
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in the wind. And then all of these big feathers, I couldn't really see it clearly. Couldn't
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see the whole figure or the whole of the, the costume for one of a better word, but
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it wasn't because it was, it was him. It's just the only way that I can describe it.
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And he was kind of lying there with this, this countenance of like just a sort of semi
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smile. So he was lying. He wasn't upright next to you.
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Oh, he was lying horizontal, just lying there, floating.
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This is interesting. So unusual for a near death experience. Keep going.
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Tell me about it. I've Googled it. I've done everything possible. I can't figure it out.
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So there he is, horizontally lying there, just kind of like with this expression of
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fineness beneath this, this beak. And so I could only really see kind of his, his jaw
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line and the, and the lips. So what happened then is, is all stuff to do with me. So I
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kind of straightened myself up and he was still lying there. And I became aware of my
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granddaughter, Layla, who was yet to be born. So the first time this happened was the 29th
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of June, 2021. And Layla was born on 12th of July. So I became aware of, of, of Emily
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and her. And I just said, no, I want to meet her. I didn't shout. I didn't scream. There
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was no, there was no sense of conflict. There was no sense of panic or worry. But I heard
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myself say it.
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And you did say the word no. Does that mean, does that mean you were not going to come
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back, but through this communication, whatever we want to call it, maybe you were allowed
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to?
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I genuinely don't know. I mean, I literally, I'm just saying verbatim what, what happened.
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My interpretation of it, I don't know because I genuinely would be kind of, I guess, making
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assertions that it meant this or it meant that or it meant the other. I don't know what it
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meant. I equally don't know why in that, in that situation I started to then do the simplest
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of Tai Chi, Chi Gong moves with him lying there. And now I'm kind of upright, floating,
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doing this and I can see him sort of, I see my hands in front of me and then I can see
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him in the background. I do this maybe four or five times, this simple Tai Chi move and
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then boom, I'm back and Mr. Pujaro, who was one of the three brain surgeons I had. So
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we, we nearly lost you. I guess what, I guess what I would say, I suppose one of the reasons
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that I don't have a kind of interpretation of it is because it's so different to anything
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that I'd kind of heard of before or thought of before that I'm just, I just kind of, I
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let it, I let it sit where it is really. If someone had, you know, at that point, I guess
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I would have been totally cool and fine and would have forgotten about it. I'd have put
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it down to the medication, I'd have put it down to, you know, the surgery, I'd have put
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it down to all of the, all of the stuff that was, that was going on except that what happened
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with me is I had a, I had a raft of complications and I had a seizure and then on the 10th of
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July, I experienced it again, identical down to the last millisecond, the exact same thing.
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So it's because of that that I'm like, whoa, this, this is like, this is different. This
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is, this is something that I can't put down to the chemicals or the, you know, this is,
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this was like a massive, massive mammoth thing.
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Yeah. These weren't dreams. These were real experiences. And Jason, it's only been two
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years.
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It's not even that. It was July. Yeah.
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I mean, 21. Yeah.
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It's been just under two years and you've had a lot of healing to do over that time.
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Yeah.
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With your, your brain and everything. You might find over the next few years that it comes
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a little bit more clearly into view. In other words, you may be able to interpret it a little
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bit or maybe not. You know, I don't know. And this show isn't about, you know, interpreting
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these things for you, but just to find out what happened to you. But I have a feeling
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you're going to understand it better as time goes on. Have you had a chance to talk to
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other people that have had near death experiences?
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Not really. No. The thing that I found is that people, people are quite reticent about
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mortality. So no, it's not been something that I've kind of broached with people.
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Yeah. Well, and times are changing. And I don't know how it is in England. I know how
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it is here in the States. And that is that, you know, if you had an experience like this
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30, 40, 50 years ago, people just thought you were crazy. But it's being much, much more
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accepted now, not only by the general population, but also by the medical field.
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Yeah.
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They're realizing there is something happening because we're hearing this often. And these
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people are not crazy. These people are completely lucid. They know what's going on.
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Exactly. And I guess it's kind of like when people have asked me to explain it to them.
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So imagine that, imagine there is a metro, right? And there's all these different stations,
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say in New York or in London, right? And I don't know whether you've been to Piccadilly
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Circus, let's say, or you've been to...
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Yes, I have.
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You have.
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And I'm familiar with your underground.
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All right. So supposing you've been to Piccadilly Circus. So you can picture Piccadilly Circus.
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You can visualize Piccadilly Circus. So all of the things that you're thinking at the
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moment, all of the thoughts that you're having, everything is framed within your physical
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experience of having been to Piccadilly Circus. Now, my physical experience of this near-death
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experience is the equivalent of you've never, let's say you've never been to Manchin House,
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right? But you imagine now in your mind the Tube Station Manchin House and you're basing
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it on Piccadilly Circus. But what if Manchin House was completely different outside of
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what you have experienced? If it was an entirely different concept, you would still infer Piccadilly
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Circus upon Manchin House, even if it's totally, totally, totally, completely and utterly outside
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of that realm. And I guess one of the reasons I haven't really talked about it is because
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it's very, very difficult to find words to express if going to Manchin House meant going
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to a different realm of space and time and trusting me and believing me that that's what
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would happen to you if you got out of Manchin House. It's a really difficult subject to
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be able to speak about when you've actually experienced it because you would not accept
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having been to Piccadilly Circus. You'd be, wait a second, Manchin House is not going
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to differ that much from Piccadilly Circus. This guy is a lunatic. This guy is being ridiculous.
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He's telling me that Manchin House is like, is this entirely different world? And I'm
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saying, yes, Piccadilly Circus is dreams. Manchin House is a near-death experience.
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They're completely miles apart in terms of what they are from my human experience. And
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maybe that's why I've been reticent about talking about it until speaking to you, which
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is a relief. It's so nice to be asked to talk about something that is so profound and so
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life-changing to actually be encouraged and wanted to speak about it is in many ways a
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relief.
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Well, I'm glad. I want you to know that I believe you what you're telling me. And our
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audience in our show is completely non-judgmental. We're not in this to say, oh, you're making
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this up or something. I do a little bit of that before I put people on the show and they
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don't get on if it doesn't seem real to me. But maybe that's not fair. But anyway, that's
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besides the point. It's interesting what you were just saying. I think one of the things
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that I have found in interviewing so many people that have had these experiences and
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the fact that they are all different, one of the questions that constantly comes to
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my mind, are they different because people are different? Are they different because
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their spiritual experience just was different? Do we interpret it different? Are we presented
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with something different? One of the conclusions I've come to is that people are put in a situation
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that they're comfortable with. For example, some people that you would say are very religious
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and pray a lot and all those kinds of things have experiences where they feel like they
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were very close to God, not all of them, some of them. Some feel like they've even seen
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and talked to Him. Others, it's more of a blur. It's more of a just a wonderful, loving
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feeling and I saw lights and things like that. I don't know if it's because some people
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are prepared for this and some people prepared for the other. And I have no idea at all why
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you saw someone in a black crow kind of costume. That's very unusual and that doesn't mean
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it's not real. And I don't know what it means. I think you'll figure that out someday because
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why would you have been given this gift of this experience if it was never going to mean
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anything to you? What's the point of that?
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I certainly think that that figure has kind of had meaning to me since. At first, he was
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a figure of terror. When I came home from the hospital and the security of the hospital,
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just my wife and I trying to deal with this guy who's just barely able to kind of move.
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I couldn't see, I couldn't hear very well. I had this kind of terror that what I'd experienced
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was that when I said no, that I should have said yes, that he was there to kind of get
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me. And so I had this whole thing where I thought to myself, he's going to come and
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he's going to come and get me and everything is going to go wrong. So I got paranoid about
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every single thing. Then I had this, I had this idea that, well, I'm going to have to
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get used to this somehow. And I'm going to have to deal with this somehow. So I did this,
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I did this, you do a lot of meditation in Tai Chi. And I thought, okay, I'm going to
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meditate myself with him all night long. So I'm going to see myself do the whole of Tai
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Chi to go all the way through with him. If he comes and he gets me and I don't survive,
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then I don't survive. But if I do survive, then it's okay. He's not there to kind of
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take me away. Now, the first thing is I had no idea whether that would, whether I'd be
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able to do that, to kind of see myself with him. And I was pretty scared of doing it.
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I was terrified of doing it. But I did. And I guess I was able to really kind of find a
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way for us to sort of be friends in a weird kind of way.
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Sort of like facing fear in other times in life.
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Yeah, I guess.
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You know, sometimes when we face it head on and go, okay, I'm afraid of this and I'm going
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to do this anyway, then we gain all kinds of power from it.
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Did you have an, would you say an unusual, unusually high fear of death before this experience
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happened?
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No.
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Do you have less or more fear of death now?
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I have zero fear of death now.
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If I had a shilling for every time that someone has told me that on this show.
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Really?
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Yeah, I hear that every day.
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Really?
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Yeah. Yeah, the fear of death usually nearly always completely goes away after an experience
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like this.
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Totally gone.
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Yeah.
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Completely gone.
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And that doesn't mean you want to die today. No, there's great things to live for. But when
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it's my time, that's okay. I don't need to be afraid of it.
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Yeah.
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I did want to point out one thing. It seems like you came back for your granddaughter.
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You really wanted to meet your soon to be born granddaughter, right?
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Yes. And yes, I think so. But it wasn't like a massive, emotive thing. That's the bizarre
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thing about it. It didn't contain, because people have said to me, oh, you fought for
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your life. Like, who was I going to fight against? I did Tai Chi.
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Yeah, fight is definitely the wrong word.
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You know what I mean?
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Yeah.
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And in terms of like all of the emotions that I was feeling, of course I wanted to meet
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Layla. But I equally wanted to be there with everyone all kind of at the same time. I think
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it's just, I just said it.
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Yeah. Some people that have near death experiences are given a chance, their opportunity. Do you
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want to stay there? Do you want to go back to your body? Some people are not given a
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chance to make that decision. Of those that are given the opportunity to decide, quite
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often the decision is based on, I just really feel like either I need to get back to someone
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or I want so badly to get back to someone. And I just kind of feel like yours falls a
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little bit into that category where, yeah, it wasn't a fight. This was a conscious, almost
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discussion where it was like, I want to go meet Layla. So let's do that.
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Possibly. But it wasn't that conscious. It wasn't that narrative. I just happened to
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say it. But it was probably the most profoundly peaceful experiences I've ever had.
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Can you describe that more? Profoundly peaceful. What else did you feel?
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I felt like there was no kind of time. The thing I felt more than anything was this,
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was the falling in the pit of my stomach. I had this physical, visceral feeling still
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with me while all of this other stuff was going on, which I guess is the thing that
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made it so absolutely kind of like real both times was that, you know, was preceded with
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this falling backwards thing four times. And they were like proper, you know, the proper
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falling treatment. It wasn't just like, oh, I'm closing back. It was like proper bang,
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bang, bang, bang. Got your attention. That's for sure.
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Yeah. And but I have no idea of the time it took. I've no idea of any of those kind of
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qualities other than those were the events that I can pinpoint within the context of
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that whole kind of experience.
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So let's talk a little bit about what's happened since then. How has it changed your life?
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I mean, physical trauma, but what else has happened?
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I have a lot of difficulty with fitting back into society with my brain injury. You know,
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people with brain injuries don't do well with background noise, fluorescent lighting. It's
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over stimulation.
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Yeah, everything is just all comes at once. Brain fatigue. I think it's I think it's made
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me kind of quite feel I've described it as feeling like an alien being or in a foreign
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land. It's very difficult to have those points of connection with with people. Those points
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of understanding. I don't know whether it's because I don't have that sort of sense of
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community anymore. I think that I've become really connected with with that realm and
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with that place. And in a way, it's like sometimes the world of potential death or the world
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of otherness is so much easier than our world. I think I've gained a lot of foresight into
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like the human condition. I think that's what this experience has given me. See, I used
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to I used to think I think like most of us think in very binary terms, good, bad, right,
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wrong, black, white, life, death. But I think this has taught me that my experience of like
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near death experience and people facing extreme things is that none of that is actually true.
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What is really true is that we're we are, I believe we live on an astral plane, a spiritual
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plane, and that everything that is contained within that astral plane, we have an indomitable
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spirit to adapt and overcome. And that we therefore can create, we can build, we can
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have the incredible medical science that saved my life and all of those aspects of life that
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is so extraordinary and so unique to the to the to the human experience. It's also the
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indomitable spirit is also the thing that makes war possible. The indomitable spirit
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is the very thing that, you know, the greatest thing for us is the biggest thing against
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us in many ways, I think. It made me aware of of people under those circumstances. Because
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I think what tends to happen is people think, you know, this sort of stuff is what happens
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to other people. And it's not. It's a cosmic blink away for every single one of us. It's
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a cosmic blink. Not if but when this stuff happens. You realize that I don't have to
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summon up the courage to overcome my fear that there is no fear instinct. There is no
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flight instinct within human beings. We have an indomitable spirit. Our instinct is to
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adapt and overcome. That's what we do. And that I think is what I've become like super
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aware of since this experience is the and I feel sometimes like I just want to I just
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want to get the world to listen to just say, look, if you could just understand that all
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of this binary stuff is just stuff that you're being fed. Wars cannot be fought by people
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that are overcoming an instinct. It's an impossibility. They can only be fought by people who actually
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don't have that instinct, but you're made to believe all the time in the binary world,
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not in the world that is the astral plane. I'll give you an example. So let's take your
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microphone, for example, that's in front of you. So that microphone is in existence. There
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it is. We you and I can both see that might we can touch it. We can feel it. Now for some
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of that Mike's life, it existed on the astral plane. It existed in the mind of its creator.
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It existed in the mind of the manufacturers. It existed as a design. It was then put together
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and it became manifest. And that's what we do stuff that's in the astral plane. We create
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we create whatever is kind of going on in that astral plane. And I think that the whole
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coming back from that world, coming back from that place, coming back from wherever it was.
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That made me realize that there wasn't anything special about me. You know, it wasn't that
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I'm brave, although the people of Ukraine are brave or the people in hospital there
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isn't bravery about it at all. It's just part of who we are to adapt to overcome to make
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to create to believe in something. You have to believe in the microphone in order for it
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to become a microphone. You've got to believe in it. If you have a thesis, you've got to
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believe in the potential outcome of that that that thesis. When I think about the black
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and white way of thinking that is required in order to get a kind of tribalistic reaction
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in people to control people, I just get a profound sense that it's so far removed from
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who we actually are and what we actually do.
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And I just add something to that. And that is that who we actually are is so much more
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than just what I'm seeing of you and you're seeing of me right here. Right?
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Yeah.
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There's more before, there's more after, there's more that we don't understand. There's
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all kinds of more going on here. Okay, let me ask you a few other questions.
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Yeah.
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Based on the last just under two years now, how, you know, I feel like this has changed
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you. Do you have interest in picking up your acting career again if you felt physically
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and mentally able to do it? Or do you want to stick with writing and other things?
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That's a really, really difficult question. The problem with picking up an acting career
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is that it's like, yeah, if someone were to just hand it to me, then yeah, no problem.
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But, you know, acting careers take a lot of fighting for and certainly in the moment,
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I'm not recovered enough to
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Take on that fight.
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Yeah, or confident enough.
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Right.
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I mean, I would do to do that. Whereas with the writing, I mean, it's partly a good way
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of dealing with insomnia, you know, but
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Well, you can also do writing more on your own and at your own speed and pace.
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Yeah, exactly. I mean, for me, that would be the coolest thing. You know, if this book
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were to do well, you know, and I could then, because I've written a second book called
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The Art of Letting Go. And if that could be made to work, then that would be an amazing
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creative outlet. I don't think I would need the acting side of things.
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Okay. How has what happened to you changed your relationships or has it with people that
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you love, your family, for example?
404
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:27,960
I think it's been incredibly hard on my family, especially on Fay and my wife. You know, she's
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always she's always worried about me. She's always got something to worry about. I mean,
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I'm not in any way kind of out of the woods as far as brain injury is concerned. And,
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you know, the ill effects of that. I mean, I'm sure you can hear I struggle formulating
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words sometimes I struggle, you know, with what it is I'm trying to express. Just going
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to the supermarket is like a nightmare sometimes.
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Making decisions. Are they difficult?
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It's just the physical thing. I literally I will just start crying and blubbering in
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the middle of a supermarket and because it I'm overwhelmed.
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Yeah. Have you been able to get back on your bike?
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No, I got rid of it. I got rid of it completely. I've been like a Shaolin monk in terms of
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Tai Chi.
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Tell us about that. I see that you're teaching some how are you spreading goodness with Tai
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Chi?
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Yeah, I'm I'm I'm teaching Tai Chi twice a week. And I'm teaching in a local college
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in Henley three days a week. And you know, I'm I'm I'm managing I'm managing it. And
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the Tai Chi is is a lovely experience because I have these I have groups of people or I
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have individual clients who come to me. And you know, they they really want to they really
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want it. They really want to know about it.
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It's great in a way because I'm just like the Tai Chi messenger. You know, it's just
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literally like, come along and and follow me and and and and here we are. And this is
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it. The difficulty I have is because my long term memory loss. You know, I don't remember
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learning like I don't so much in my life. I don't remember. It's like being dropped into
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a black ocean. So everything from the hospital until now, I remember with absolute clarity.
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00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:13,600
But from before the hospital, it's not very much. No, I think it's pretty amazing to have
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written two books in less than two years since that traumatic of a brain injury.
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Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's it was a lot of it was was my friend Brian Blassett, who was
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like, you know, you're going to write this book. It's like, okay, Brian, yeah. And and
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then I think a lot of it was a kind of therapy in a way to do with also being so heavily
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involved with with with Tai Chi with with the doing of Tai Chi. You know, it's some
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the doing of Tai Chi and the teaching of Tai Chi. It's become something that is like supremely
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important and part of like a daily ritual almost this like this is this is who I am
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00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:13,880
now and if I if I don't do it, I won't be all right. I do it all the time.
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00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,920
Sounds like it's been very healing for you in many different ways.
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00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:26,480
I think so. You know, they I've been told by numerous kind of medics and so on, but
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00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:32,440
there's not many people that come back from the first thing that happened. And it's almost
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00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:38,920
always the second infection meningitis in my case and seizure and all of that. The virtually
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00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:46,560
nobody kind of comes back. Nobody survives it. And I guess I feel like it's been possibly
442
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:55,280
something to do with the residual physical strength of Tai Chi, possibly the residual
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mental strength, although it doesn't feel like it often, but some but I guess the repetitive
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00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:11,960
nature has a real healing quality to it. Perhaps it helps with the reformation of neural pathways
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that have been damaged because I had a lot to repair. I was blind in one I couldn't really
446
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:28,680
see couldn't hear had some paralysis I had, you know, various things I had to kind of
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00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:35,480
overcome. I think that I think there's a there's a fair group of people that feel that that
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00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:44,880
Tai Chi has had a very positive and influential effect upon that kind of healing. And I guess
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00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:49,800
the thing and I guess the you know, the thing about the book is that, you know, there was
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00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:55,360
a big part of me that wasn't going to include it at all. That I was just going to I was going
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to talk about, I don't know, I mean, I wasn't going to write a book, I wasn't going to talk
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about this. But it's been so there's been so many people. And Brian blessed was the
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00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:14,440
was the kind of biggest voice for this who said, But Jason, this is this is so helpful
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to so many people. It's not just about coming back from where you've come back from. It's
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00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:30,560
such a helpful thing for people. And it's such a positive thing. And it's such a spiritual
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00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:36,720
thing. I guess I was persuaded to to share in that sense.
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00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:42,720
So if you could summarize the message of hope in that book into a very brief statement,
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what would you say? I want our listeners to get something from all of this today. And
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I know you have a message to share. What is it?
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I guess I would say that the message of the of the book is that there are principles contained
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within Tai Chi that I think connect with near death experience and connect with who we really
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are deep down inside the kind of energy that drives us, the kind of people that we truly
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are. My hope is that that that the book kind of unlocks that to an extent, the people will
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kind of get those connections. And we'll sort of see from the book that it's it's a kind
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of there is in in in practice is practical. I guess the other thing I would say is that
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no belief is required in terms of what is Tai Chi. All you have to do is kind of just
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do it. It's a physical, visceral experience that enables people to have a kind of meditative,
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physical experience. I think there's a I think there's a big hour within that. And the potential
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is for kind of everyone to experience to experience that to taste that that sort of hour is hard
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to explain because it's connected to the near death experiences I had is connected to the
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crow man and all of that. All right, last question. Yeah, tell me about Leila. Is this
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your first grandchild? Yeah. All right. When we're done, we're going to compare grandkids
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photos. Okay, we'll do that off air. How's Leila? Leila's great. Leila's doing brilliant.
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Emily sent me a little video of Leila just chatting away. And yeah, she's fantastic.
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All right. Thanks a lot for being on the show today, Jason. I appreciate it. Thank you.
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And I apologize that I'm not perhaps as fast as I once would have been. You know, it seems
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like we often speak before we think in this life. We have so much that we need to get
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in or somebody's going to cut us off or something that I find it refreshing to watch your brain
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go and think before you say something. I liked it. Oh, thank you. Thanks. That means a lot.
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Thank you. Thanks again for listening and remember to share this podcast to be notified
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00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:46,400
when the next episode goes live. Follow us on your podcasting app or click over to roundtripdeath.com
482
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:51,960
and sign up for our email newsletter. One last thing, we are continually trying to improve
483
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:57,280
this podcast and we value your feedback. If you have a comment about what you like or
484
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:02,880
what we can do better or a near death experiencer that we should have on the show, send an email
485
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:09,080
to Eric at roundtripdeath.com and that's Eric with a C. Until then, I wish you everything
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00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:22,800
good that you're looking for in this life and the next.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,440
I had intense fear and panic because we were obviously crashing. Out of my heart came the
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thought, oh god help, I'm going to die.
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From the time that they pronounced me dead was a good 45 minutes.
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It's determined that I was not breathing for 20 minutes.
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They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped. And I could
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see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realise that was actually my physical body
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because I was somewhere else.
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By which you went to the past far, in the afternoon, by half past seven I was dead, clinically
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dead, four minutes.
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And they were crying because I was dead and I was trying to tell them no, I'm not dead,
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I'm just fine, I'm okay.
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I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.
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I started to feel like I was surrounded by all this warm, loving, beautiful, soothing,
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loving energy.
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I'm back with God again. I just felt this all in my two breath of these, like, wow,
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I'm back.
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I'm back home again.
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Incredibly safe and felt at home. I'd come back home. It was a very strong feeling that
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I've come back home.
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The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't
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anything else to be felt.
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And light is literally emitting from him. And I could feel that that tremendous amount
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of love was coming through him as well.
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They were brighter than everybody else. And I just knew who they were.
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Welcome to Roundtrip Death, everybody. And I'd like to welcome to the show today a very
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special guest because we don't get celebrities very often.
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Jason Rittington from Buckinghamshire in England. Oh, I hope I said that close.
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Absolutely fine. Yeah, it's like Buckingham without the palace and then Shaw. Yeah, I'm
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looking at Shaw.
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Okay. Believe me, you're allowed to correct my American accent. It is.
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No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. I wouldn't dream of it.
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No offense here. For those that don't know Jason, I'm going to just read a couple of
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things from his resume. It is long, long, long, long. He has been doing all kinds of
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acting for years. You may have seen him in films like Death of an Author, Once Upon
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a Time in London, Lucid, Motherhood, Weathering Heights, King Lear on TV, and things like
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Doctors, EastEnders, Luther on stage, etc., etc. Jason, wow, it's an honor.
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It's an honor to meet you. It really is. Thank you for having me on your show.
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Now, of those things that I mentioned, do you happen to have any favorites?
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I guess, yeah, Wuthering Heights would be probably my favorite for a few reasons. The
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first is that was my first ever kind of gig. I was acting with Ray Fiennes and Juliet Benoche.
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Juliet Benoche was really established even back then. I was kind of like, oh my goodness
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me. I was kind of just given a real consumer lesson in film acting from Juliet Benoche.
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It was also the time that I learned to ride. Riding is a really big part of my life. I
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actually have a horse in common with Kevin Costner because I rode this white stallion
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called Chico in Wuthering Heights. I was told to ride on Chico in Wuthering Heights by the
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stunt coordinator, the riding stunt coordinator, Steve Dent. Steve had just finished filming
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Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner. If you know the bit where my friend Brian
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blesses in that movie with him as well, which is weird, but anyway, there's a bit where
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he jumps on the back of this white horse, wax it with his sword, and then gallops off.
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Well, that's Chico. I'm like, yay.
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Wow. I like that. Do you want to tell us anything about who Jason really is, where you came
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from, what you do when you're not acting?
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You know, that's a hard question in a way because since my brain injury, that's a tough
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one to really answer. I mean, I don't know about me and an acting now. I guess that's
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why I've kind of gone full bell into the writing side of things because it's a creative outlet
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and it allows me to have that kind of self-expression. But I struggled with so many things since
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my brain injury.
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All right. We're going to dive deeper into that in just a minute as a lead up to your
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NDE. But let me tease your book right now. It's called Life, Death, Tai Chi, and Me.
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And I think we're going to find out why in the next few minutes.
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Yeah.
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Okay. So tell us a little bit about what happened leading up to your near-death experience.
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Did you have any indication before the actual day of?
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Well, yes, I did, but I didn't think I had. I had basically, I'd been out cycling and
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I've done lots of cycling in my life and I'd done lots of cycling up big mountains in
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France. And I'd kind of had altitude sickness before from doing that kind of training. So
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I was like, I thought that when I did this bit of cycling at home and I got this really
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terrible headache and I was sick and all the rest of it, I thought, it's altitude sickness.
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I'm fine. So if anybody's listening and that happens to you, oh, too, you are. Straight
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away. It might be that it's altitude sickness, but equally, those are the telltale signs
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of a brain hemorrhage that has ruptured. So there were signs, but unbeknown to me.
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I cycle up a few mountains myself. I live in the mountains here in Utah. And I always feel
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lousy at the top of a mountain. It's hard work. So what's the difference?
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Tell me about it. Look, I went up this hill that we've got here called White Lip, right?
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Now, if you've cycled up mountains or you follow the tour or whatever, I used to have
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an apartment on the Colder Beesk. So I used to do the Colder Beesk, the Colder Salaw,
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the Colder Maribelon, Colder Port-A-Lay, all in one hit. So for me, going up a big climb
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in inverted commas in Buckinghamshire is kind of like nothing for someone who's done that
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kind of cycling. Right. It's a little hill. How much vertical
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is it? I couldn't say. It's nothing like the kind of ramp up that you get. Well, no, it
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is. It's as steep as that, but it's just short, really, really short in comparison to a big
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climb like the obese called the Port-A-Lay or something like that.
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And knowing it's short, I'm guessing you push real hard.
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Listen, I used to go up and down it five, 10 times just for training.
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Yeah, you don't have to pace yourself. So just push and next thing you know, you've got a
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great high intensity workout under your belt.
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Absolutely. And that was what I was going to go and do. I kind of hit the gradient and
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then I was, and this sounds sexist and it isn't sexist at all, but I was overtaken by a lady
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rider who asked me what happens. I hate when that happens.
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She asked me if I was okay and I was like, yeah, yeah, no, I'm fine. You know what I
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mean? I was like, just going for this. I was thinking, what is, what's going on? What's
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the matter? And I kind of felt okay. And then when I got to the top, I just, I really obviously
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didn't look okay because people were saying, are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm fine.
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I think, you know, my, my ego got the better. You know, I was like, yeah, no, no, I'm fine,
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fine. So I took off down the slope, got to the bottom of it. And that's when I started,
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did this horrendous headache and started throwing up. And I was like, okay, is, you know, I'm
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just, I'm just not very well. That's why I couldn't do the climb very well. I'm just
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not very well. My wife's a show jumper. So we've got horses, you know, so I was like,
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I need to go and sort the boys out. So I went to the stables and I kind of fed the horses.
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And again, I was, you know, it was, I felt ill, but I wasn't kind of like stopped in
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my tracks ill. And I thought, okay, well, it's flat. I'll just, I'll just cycle back home
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gently. And then, you know, take myself off to bed and try and try and get better. So
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I did that. And I kind of felt a bit better. And then the rest is kind of murky phase,
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the one that really knows the time scales of things. Apparently I, I, I took Phoebe
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to school and drove back. And this isn't because I was, I was not in the right state to drive.
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This is because I can't remember things clearly after the brain.
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And it's okay to fill in with what Faye told you happened.
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Well, she told me so I drove, so I drove Phoebe, Phoebe back, I came home, got out the car
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and I, and I seemed completely fine. And then the next thing she heard was like a thud.
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And then apparently I'd kind of collapsed on the floor. I'd hit my lip on the, on the
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radiator. And I was out called she did CPR. Bless her the second time in her life that
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she's had to do this. She did that. She had a partner who she had to do this with and
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he didn't make it, you know. So she did CPR called the emergency services. And apparently
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everybody arrived like air ambulance, everyone gave me an adrenaline shot, put me into some
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kind of recovery. And then I was on my way to the hospital. And they put me in an induced
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coma to wait for, I think it was at the weekend. So they wanted to make sure they had their
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surgeons. They obviously stabilized me and everything. So they wanted to make sure that
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they had their surgeons to deal with what they knew was a burst aneurysm. And, and you
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know, I have no memory of it. That's all. It's, it's kind of insane really.
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But you do have some memory, I believe of what happened in, was it in surgery or after where
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you felt like you left your body? I didn't feel like I left my body and I have no idea
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when it, whether it was in surgery or after, you know, I have no idea of what was actually
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happening to me at the time. I just know that the experience that, that I had was, was very
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visceral was like being in a, in a, in a place for an indeterminate kind of amount of time.
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And there was no sensation of leaving my body or of, or of, or of being different to me.
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So did this feel like just a regular dream or somehow different?
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No, it was completely different because the first thing that was different was at the
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start of it. Have you, have you ever had the, the falling dream?
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Yes.
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Okay. So you know, in the falling dream, you wake up and you've got that feeling in the
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pit of your stomach. Yeah.
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So I had the falling dream four times in rapid succession. And then I had this feeling in
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the pit of my stomach. So the main sensation that I had was that feeling, the feeling of,
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of, I've, I've just fallen. But unlike the dream, I was there. Next to me was to begin
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with it was black all around me. Then it was kind of an, aic sort of white. And then I
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somehow was looking to my side, but also above at the same time. And don't ask me how, but
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that's kind of what the, what the visual image was. I wasn't seeing myself. I was literally
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seeing through my eyes. It was happening to me. So I wasn't witnessing anything other
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than I was, I was experiencing it. And then the person entity that was next to me was,
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was kind of almost sort of cheerfully comic in the most surreal and bizarre way. Because
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he had on this kind of, it's like, if you, if you were going to go to a fantasy dress
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costume and you thought, well, I'm going to dress like a crow. And I'm going to look
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like Robert Smith from the cure underneath this crow's outfit. That's kind of what you'd
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look like, which sounds ridiculous. But there he was lying there. And I could see all the
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details of like the little feathers on the, on the beak, because the beak had kind of
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feathers to it. It wasn't a different color. It was black, had little feathers that wafted
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in the wind. And then all of these big feathers, I couldn't really see it clearly. Couldn't
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see the whole figure or the whole of the, the costume for one of a better word, but
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it wasn't because it was, it was him. It's just the only way that I can describe it.
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And he was kind of lying there with this, this countenance of like just a sort of semi
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smile. So he was lying. He wasn't upright next to you.
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Oh, he was lying horizontal, just lying there, floating.
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This is interesting. So unusual for a near death experience. Keep going.
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Tell me about it. I've Googled it. I've done everything possible. I can't figure it out.
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So there he is, horizontally lying there, just kind of like with this expression of
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fineness beneath this, this beak. And so I could only really see kind of his, his jaw
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line and the, and the lips. So what happened then is, is all stuff to do with me. So I
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kind of straightened myself up and he was still lying there. And I became aware of my
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granddaughter, Layla, who was yet to be born. So the first time this happened was the 29th
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of June, 2021. And Layla was born on 12th of July. So I became aware of, of, of Emily
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and her. And I just said, no, I want to meet her. I didn't shout. I didn't scream. There
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was no, there was no sense of conflict. There was no sense of panic or worry. But I heard
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myself say it.
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And you did say the word no. Does that mean, does that mean you were not going to come
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back, but through this communication, whatever we want to call it, maybe you were allowed
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to?
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I genuinely don't know. I mean, I literally, I'm just saying verbatim what, what happened.
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My interpretation of it, I don't know because I genuinely would be kind of, I guess, making
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assertions that it meant this or it meant that or it meant the other. I don't know what it
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meant. I equally don't know why in that, in that situation I started to then do the simplest
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of Tai Chi, Chi Gong moves with him lying there. And now I'm kind of upright, floating,
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doing this and I can see him sort of, I see my hands in front of me and then I can see
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him in the background. I do this maybe four or five times, this simple Tai Chi move and
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then boom, I'm back and Mr. Pujaro, who was one of the three brain surgeons I had. So
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we, we nearly lost you. I guess what, I guess what I would say, I suppose one of the reasons
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that I don't have a kind of interpretation of it is because it's so different to anything
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that I'd kind of heard of before or thought of before that I'm just, I just kind of, I
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let it, I let it sit where it is really. If someone had, you know, at that point, I guess
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I would have been totally cool and fine and would have forgotten about it. I'd have put
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it down to the medication, I'd have put it down to, you know, the surgery, I'd have put
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it down to all of the, all of the stuff that was, that was going on except that what happened
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with me is I had a, I had a raft of complications and I had a seizure and then on the 10th of
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July, I experienced it again, identical down to the last millisecond, the exact same thing.
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So it's because of that that I'm like, whoa, this, this is like, this is different. This
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is, this is something that I can't put down to the chemicals or the, you know, this is,
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this was like a massive, massive mammoth thing.
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Yeah. These weren't dreams. These were real experiences. And Jason, it's only been two
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years.
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It's not even that. It was July. Yeah.
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I mean, 21. Yeah.
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It's been just under two years and you've had a lot of healing to do over that time.
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Yeah.
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With your, your brain and everything. You might find over the next few years that it comes
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a little bit more clearly into view. In other words, you may be able to interpret it a little
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bit or maybe not. You know, I don't know. And this show isn't about, you know, interpreting
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these things for you, but just to find out what happened to you. But I have a feeling
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you're going to understand it better as time goes on. Have you had a chance to talk to
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other people that have had near death experiences?
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Not really. No. The thing that I found is that people, people are quite reticent about
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mortality. So no, it's not been something that I've kind of broached with people.
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Yeah. Well, and times are changing. And I don't know how it is in England. I know how
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it is here in the States. And that is that, you know, if you had an experience like this
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30, 40, 50 years ago, people just thought you were crazy. But it's being much, much more
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accepted now, not only by the general population, but also by the medical field.
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Yeah.
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They're realizing there is something happening because we're hearing this often. And these
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people are not crazy. These people are completely lucid. They know what's going on.
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Exactly. And I guess it's kind of like when people have asked me to explain it to them.
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So imagine that, imagine there is a metro, right? And there's all these different stations,
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say in New York or in London, right? And I don't know whether you've been to Piccadilly
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Circus, let's say, or you've been to...
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Yes, I have.
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You have.
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And I'm familiar with your underground.
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All right. So supposing you've been to Piccadilly Circus. So you can picture Piccadilly Circus.
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You can visualize Piccadilly Circus. So all of the things that you're thinking at the
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moment, all of the thoughts that you're having, everything is framed within your physical
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experience of having been to Piccadilly Circus. Now, my physical experience of this near-death
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experience is the equivalent of you've never, let's say you've never been to Manchin House,
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right? But you imagine now in your mind the Tube Station Manchin House and you're basing
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it on Piccadilly Circus. But what if Manchin House was completely different outside of
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what you have experienced? If it was an entirely different concept, you would still infer Piccadilly
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Circus upon Manchin House, even if it's totally, totally, totally, completely and utterly outside
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of that realm. And I guess one of the reasons I haven't really talked about it is because
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it's very, very difficult to find words to express if going to Manchin House meant going
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to a different realm of space and time and trusting me and believing me that that's what
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would happen to you if you got out of Manchin House. It's a really difficult subject to
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be able to speak about when you've actually experienced it because you would not accept
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having been to Piccadilly Circus. You'd be, wait a second, Manchin House is not going
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to differ that much from Piccadilly Circus. This guy is a lunatic. This guy is being ridiculous.
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He's telling me that Manchin House is like, is this entirely different world? And I'm
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saying, yes, Piccadilly Circus is dreams. Manchin House is a near-death experience.
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They're completely miles apart in terms of what they are from my human experience. And
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maybe that's why I've been reticent about talking about it until speaking to you, which
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is a relief. It's so nice to be asked to talk about something that is so profound and so
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life-changing to actually be encouraged and wanted to speak about it is in many ways a
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relief.
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Well, I'm glad. I want you to know that I believe you what you're telling me. And our
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audience in our show is completely non-judgmental. We're not in this to say, oh, you're making
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this up or something. I do a little bit of that before I put people on the show and they
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don't get on if it doesn't seem real to me. But maybe that's not fair. But anyway, that's
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besides the point. It's interesting what you were just saying. I think one of the things
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that I have found in interviewing so many people that have had these experiences and
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the fact that they are all different, one of the questions that constantly comes to
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my mind, are they different because people are different? Are they different because
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their spiritual experience just was different? Do we interpret it different? Are we presented
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with something different? One of the conclusions I've come to is that people are put in a situation
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that they're comfortable with. For example, some people that you would say are very religious
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and pray a lot and all those kinds of things have experiences where they feel like they
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were very close to God, not all of them, some of them. Some feel like they've even seen
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and talked to Him. Others, it's more of a blur. It's more of a just a wonderful, loving
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feeling and I saw lights and things like that. I don't know if it's because some people
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are prepared for this and some people prepared for the other. And I have no idea at all why
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you saw someone in a black crow kind of costume. That's very unusual and that doesn't mean
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it's not real. And I don't know what it means. I think you'll figure that out someday because
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why would you have been given this gift of this experience if it was never going to mean
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anything to you? What's the point of that?
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I certainly think that that figure has kind of had meaning to me since. At first, he was
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a figure of terror. When I came home from the hospital and the security of the hospital,
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just my wife and I trying to deal with this guy who's just barely able to kind of move.
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I couldn't see, I couldn't hear very well. I had this kind of terror that what I'd experienced
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was that when I said no, that I should have said yes, that he was there to kind of get
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me. And so I had this whole thing where I thought to myself, he's going to come and
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he's going to come and get me and everything is going to go wrong. So I got paranoid about
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every single thing. Then I had this, I had this idea that, well, I'm going to have to
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get used to this somehow. And I'm going to have to deal with this somehow. So I did this,
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I did this, you do a lot of meditation in Tai Chi. And I thought, okay, I'm going to
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meditate myself with him all night long. So I'm going to see myself do the whole of Tai
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Chi to go all the way through with him. If he comes and he gets me and I don't survive,
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then I don't survive. But if I do survive, then it's okay. He's not there to kind of
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take me away. Now, the first thing is I had no idea whether that would, whether I'd be
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able to do that, to kind of see myself with him. And I was pretty scared of doing it.
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I was terrified of doing it. But I did. And I guess I was able to really kind of find a
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way for us to sort of be friends in a weird kind of way.
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Sort of like facing fear in other times in life.
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Yeah, I guess.
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You know, sometimes when we face it head on and go, okay, I'm afraid of this and I'm going
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to do this anyway, then we gain all kinds of power from it.
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Did you have an, would you say an unusual, unusually high fear of death before this experience
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happened?
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No.
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Do you have less or more fear of death now?
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I have zero fear of death now.
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If I had a shilling for every time that someone has told me that on this show.
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Really?
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Yeah, I hear that every day.
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Really?
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Yeah. Yeah, the fear of death usually nearly always completely goes away after an experience
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like this.
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Totally gone.
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Yeah.
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Completely gone.
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And that doesn't mean you want to die today. No, there's great things to live for. But when
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it's my time, that's okay. I don't need to be afraid of it.
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Yeah.
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I did want to point out one thing. It seems like you came back for your granddaughter.
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You really wanted to meet your soon to be born granddaughter, right?
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Yes. And yes, I think so. But it wasn't like a massive, emotive thing. That's the bizarre
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thing about it. It didn't contain, because people have said to me, oh, you fought for
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your life. Like, who was I going to fight against? I did Tai Chi.
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Yeah, fight is definitely the wrong word.
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You know what I mean?
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Yeah.
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And in terms of like all of the emotions that I was feeling, of course I wanted to meet
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Layla. But I equally wanted to be there with everyone all kind of at the same time. I think
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it's just, I just said it.
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Yeah. Some people that have near death experiences are given a chance, their opportunity. Do you
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want to stay there? Do you want to go back to your body? Some people are not given a
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chance to make that decision. Of those that are given the opportunity to decide, quite
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often the decision is based on, I just really feel like either I need to get back to someone
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or I want so badly to get back to someone. And I just kind of feel like yours falls a
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little bit into that category where, yeah, it wasn't a fight. This was a conscious, almost
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discussion where it was like, I want to go meet Layla. So let's do that.
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Possibly. But it wasn't that conscious. It wasn't that narrative. I just happened to
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say it. But it was probably the most profoundly peaceful experiences I've ever had.
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Can you describe that more? Profoundly peaceful. What else did you feel?
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I felt like there was no kind of time. The thing I felt more than anything was this,
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was the falling in the pit of my stomach. I had this physical, visceral feeling still
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with me while all of this other stuff was going on, which I guess is the thing that
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made it so absolutely kind of like real both times was that, you know, was preceded with
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this falling backwards thing four times. And they were like proper, you know, the proper
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falling treatment. It wasn't just like, oh, I'm closing back. It was like proper bang,
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bang, bang, bang. Got your attention. That's for sure.
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Yeah. And but I have no idea of the time it took. I've no idea of any of those kind of
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qualities other than those were the events that I can pinpoint within the context of
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that whole kind of experience.
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So let's talk a little bit about what's happened since then. How has it changed your life?
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I mean, physical trauma, but what else has happened?
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I have a lot of difficulty with fitting back into society with my brain injury. You know,
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people with brain injuries don't do well with background noise, fluorescent lighting. It's
331
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over stimulation.
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00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:13,360
Yeah, everything is just all comes at once. Brain fatigue. I think it's I think it's made
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me kind of quite feel I've described it as feeling like an alien being or in a foreign
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00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:28,520
land. It's very difficult to have those points of connection with with people. Those points
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of understanding. I don't know whether it's because I don't have that sort of sense of
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community anymore. I think that I've become really connected with with that realm and
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00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:59,240
with that place. And in a way, it's like sometimes the world of potential death or the world
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of otherness is so much easier than our world. I think I've gained a lot of foresight into
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00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:19,680
like the human condition. I think that's what this experience has given me. See, I used
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to I used to think I think like most of us think in very binary terms, good, bad, right,
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00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:39,600
wrong, black, white, life, death. But I think this has taught me that my experience of like
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near death experience and people facing extreme things is that none of that is actually true.
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What is really true is that we're we are, I believe we live on an astral plane, a spiritual
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plane, and that everything that is contained within that astral plane, we have an indomitable
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spirit to adapt and overcome. And that we therefore can create, we can build, we can
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have the incredible medical science that saved my life and all of those aspects of life that
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is so extraordinary and so unique to the to the to the human experience. It's also the
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indomitable spirit is also the thing that makes war possible. The indomitable spirit
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is the very thing that, you know, the greatest thing for us is the biggest thing against
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us in many ways, I think. It made me aware of of people under those circumstances. Because
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I think what tends to happen is people think, you know, this sort of stuff is what happens
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to other people. And it's not. It's a cosmic blink away for every single one of us. It's
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a cosmic blink. Not if but when this stuff happens. You realize that I don't have to
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summon up the courage to overcome my fear that there is no fear instinct. There is no
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flight instinct within human beings. We have an indomitable spirit. Our instinct is to
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adapt and overcome. That's what we do. And that I think is what I've become like super
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aware of since this experience is the and I feel sometimes like I just want to I just
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want to get the world to listen to just say, look, if you could just understand that all
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00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:20,960
of this binary stuff is just stuff that you're being fed. Wars cannot be fought by people
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that are overcoming an instinct. It's an impossibility. They can only be fought by people who actually
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don't have that instinct, but you're made to believe all the time in the binary world,
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not in the world that is the astral plane. I'll give you an example. So let's take your
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microphone, for example, that's in front of you. So that microphone is in existence. There
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it is. We you and I can both see that might we can touch it. We can feel it. Now for some
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00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:06,000
of that Mike's life, it existed on the astral plane. It existed in the mind of its creator.
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It existed in the mind of the manufacturers. It existed as a design. It was then put together
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and it became manifest. And that's what we do stuff that's in the astral plane. We create
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we create whatever is kind of going on in that astral plane. And I think that the whole
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coming back from that world, coming back from that place, coming back from wherever it was.
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That made me realize that there wasn't anything special about me. You know, it wasn't that
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I'm brave, although the people of Ukraine are brave or the people in hospital there
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isn't bravery about it at all. It's just part of who we are to adapt to overcome to make
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to create to believe in something. You have to believe in the microphone in order for it
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to become a microphone. You've got to believe in it. If you have a thesis, you've got to
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believe in the potential outcome of that that that thesis. When I think about the black
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00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:47,280
and white way of thinking that is required in order to get a kind of tribalistic reaction
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00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:59,000
in people to control people, I just get a profound sense that it's so far removed from
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who we actually are and what we actually do.
379
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:09,840
And I just add something to that. And that is that who we actually are is so much more
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00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:15,200
than just what I'm seeing of you and you're seeing of me right here. Right?
381
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:16,200
Yeah.
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00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:22,720
There's more before, there's more after, there's more that we don't understand. There's
383
00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:28,360
all kinds of more going on here. Okay, let me ask you a few other questions.
384
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,360
Yeah.
385
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:37,680
Based on the last just under two years now, how, you know, I feel like this has changed
386
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:45,240
you. Do you have interest in picking up your acting career again if you felt physically
387
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:50,440
and mentally able to do it? Or do you want to stick with writing and other things?
388
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:56,200
That's a really, really difficult question. The problem with picking up an acting career
389
00:41:56,200 --> 00:42:05,080
is that it's like, yeah, if someone were to just hand it to me, then yeah, no problem.
390
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:14,760
But, you know, acting careers take a lot of fighting for and certainly in the moment,
391
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,200
I'm not recovered enough to
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00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,200
Take on that fight.
393
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,520
Yeah, or confident enough.
394
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:21,520
Right.
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00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:28,520
I mean, I would do to do that. Whereas with the writing, I mean, it's partly a good way
396
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,000
of dealing with insomnia, you know, but
397
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,760
Well, you can also do writing more on your own and at your own speed and pace.
398
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:48,920
Yeah, exactly. I mean, for me, that would be the coolest thing. You know, if this book
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00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:55,480
were to do well, you know, and I could then, because I've written a second book called
400
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The Art of Letting Go. And if that could be made to work, then that would be an amazing
401
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:09,240
creative outlet. I don't think I would need the acting side of things.
402
00:43:09,240 --> 00:43:17,360
Okay. How has what happened to you changed your relationships or has it with people that
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00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,480
you love, your family, for example?
404
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:27,960
I think it's been incredibly hard on my family, especially on Fay and my wife. You know, she's
405
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:33,840
always she's always worried about me. She's always got something to worry about. I mean,
406
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:44,760
I'm not in any way kind of out of the woods as far as brain injury is concerned. And,
407
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:56,760
you know, the ill effects of that. I mean, I'm sure you can hear I struggle formulating
408
00:43:56,760 --> 00:44:04,200
words sometimes I struggle, you know, with what it is I'm trying to express. Just going
409
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:09,000
to the supermarket is like a nightmare sometimes.
410
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,560
Making decisions. Are they difficult?
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It's just the physical thing. I literally I will just start crying and blubbering in
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00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,720
the middle of a supermarket and because it I'm overwhelmed.
413
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:25,280
Yeah. Have you been able to get back on your bike?
414
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:32,160
No, I got rid of it. I got rid of it completely. I've been like a Shaolin monk in terms of
415
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,160
Tai Chi.
416
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:41,360
Tell us about that. I see that you're teaching some how are you spreading goodness with Tai
417
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:42,360
Chi?
418
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:56,080
Yeah, I'm I'm I'm teaching Tai Chi twice a week. And I'm teaching in a local college
419
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:05,280
in Henley three days a week. And you know, I'm I'm I'm managing I'm managing it. And
420
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:12,640
the Tai Chi is is a lovely experience because I have these I have groups of people or I
421
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:19,920
have individual clients who come to me. And you know, they they really want to they really
422
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:24,160
want it. They really want to know about it.
423
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:31,240
It's great in a way because I'm just like the Tai Chi messenger. You know, it's just
424
00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:39,080
literally like, come along and and follow me and and and and here we are. And this is
425
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:47,160
it. The difficulty I have is because my long term memory loss. You know, I don't remember
426
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:55,440
learning like I don't so much in my life. I don't remember. It's like being dropped into
427
00:45:55,440 --> 00:46:06,280
a black ocean. So everything from the hospital until now, I remember with absolute clarity.
428
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:13,600
But from before the hospital, it's not very much. No, I think it's pretty amazing to have
429
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:19,520
written two books in less than two years since that traumatic of a brain injury.
430
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:26,840
Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's it was a lot of it was was my friend Brian Blassett, who was
431
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:35,840
like, you know, you're going to write this book. It's like, okay, Brian, yeah. And and
432
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:43,960
then I think a lot of it was a kind of therapy in a way to do with also being so heavily
433
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:52,000
involved with with with Tai Chi with with the doing of Tai Chi. You know, it's some
434
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:58,600
the doing of Tai Chi and the teaching of Tai Chi. It's become something that is like supremely
435
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:07,520
important and part of like a daily ritual almost this like this is this is who I am
436
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:13,880
now and if I if I don't do it, I won't be all right. I do it all the time.
437
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,920
Sounds like it's been very healing for you in many different ways.
438
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:26,480
I think so. You know, they I've been told by numerous kind of medics and so on, but
439
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:32,440
there's not many people that come back from the first thing that happened. And it's almost
440
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:38,920
always the second infection meningitis in my case and seizure and all of that. The virtually
441
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:46,560
nobody kind of comes back. Nobody survives it. And I guess I feel like it's been possibly
442
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:55,280
something to do with the residual physical strength of Tai Chi, possibly the residual
443
00:47:55,280 --> 00:48:02,080
mental strength, although it doesn't feel like it often, but some but I guess the repetitive
444
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:11,960
nature has a real healing quality to it. Perhaps it helps with the reformation of neural pathways
445
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:20,480
that have been damaged because I had a lot to repair. I was blind in one I couldn't really
446
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:28,680
see couldn't hear had some paralysis I had, you know, various things I had to kind of
447
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:35,480
overcome. I think that I think there's a there's a fair group of people that feel that that
448
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:44,880
Tai Chi has had a very positive and influential effect upon that kind of healing. And I guess
449
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:49,800
the thing and I guess the you know, the thing about the book is that, you know, there was
450
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:55,360
a big part of me that wasn't going to include it at all. That I was just going to I was going
451
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:59,520
to talk about, I don't know, I mean, I wasn't going to write a book, I wasn't going to talk
452
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:08,480
about this. But it's been so there's been so many people. And Brian blessed was the
453
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:14,440
was the kind of biggest voice for this who said, But Jason, this is this is so helpful
454
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:21,040
to so many people. It's not just about coming back from where you've come back from. It's
455
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:30,560
such a helpful thing for people. And it's such a positive thing. And it's such a spiritual
456
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:36,720
thing. I guess I was persuaded to to share in that sense.
457
00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:42,720
So if you could summarize the message of hope in that book into a very brief statement,
458
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:49,080
what would you say? I want our listeners to get something from all of this today. And
459
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:53,000
I know you have a message to share. What is it?
460
00:49:53,000 --> 00:50:02,320
I guess I would say that the message of the of the book is that there are principles contained
461
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:11,240
within Tai Chi that I think connect with near death experience and connect with who we really
462
00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:19,280
are deep down inside the kind of energy that drives us, the kind of people that we truly
463
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:26,400
are. My hope is that that that the book kind of unlocks that to an extent, the people will
464
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:32,800
kind of get those connections. And we'll sort of see from the book that it's it's a kind
465
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:40,240
of there is in in in practice is practical. I guess the other thing I would say is that
466
00:50:40,240 --> 00:50:47,680
no belief is required in terms of what is Tai Chi. All you have to do is kind of just
467
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:59,480
do it. It's a physical, visceral experience that enables people to have a kind of meditative,
468
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:08,960
physical experience. I think there's a I think there's a big hour within that. And the potential
469
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:21,120
is for kind of everyone to experience to experience that to taste that that sort of hour is hard
470
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:28,920
to explain because it's connected to the near death experiences I had is connected to the
471
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:36,080
crow man and all of that. All right, last question. Yeah, tell me about Leila. Is this
472
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:41,600
your first grandchild? Yeah. All right. When we're done, we're going to compare grandkids
473
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:49,080
photos. Okay, we'll do that off air. How's Leila? Leila's great. Leila's doing brilliant.
474
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:56,160
Emily sent me a little video of Leila just chatting away. And yeah, she's fantastic.
475
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:01,040
All right. Thanks a lot for being on the show today, Jason. I appreciate it. Thank you.
476
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:08,840
And I apologize that I'm not perhaps as fast as I once would have been. You know, it seems
477
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:17,000
like we often speak before we think in this life. We have so much that we need to get
478
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:23,600
in or somebody's going to cut us off or something that I find it refreshing to watch your brain
479
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:31,680
go and think before you say something. I liked it. Oh, thank you. Thanks. That means a lot.
480
00:52:31,680 --> 00:52:40,120
Thank you. Thanks again for listening and remember to share this podcast to be notified
481
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:46,400
when the next episode goes live. Follow us on your podcasting app or click over to roundtripdeath.com
482
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:51,960
and sign up for our email newsletter. One last thing, we are continually trying to improve
483
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:57,280
this podcast and we value your feedback. If you have a comment about what you like or
484
00:52:57,280 --> 00:53:02,880
what we can do better or a near death experiencer that we should have on the show, send an email
485
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:09,080
to Eric at roundtripdeath.com and that's Eric with a C. Until then, I wish you everything
486
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:22,800
good that you're looking for in this life and the next.