Transcript
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Hey everyone, just a quick warning about this episode of Round Trip Death.
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It includes graphic discussion about child abuse and may be inappropriate for children
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and those sensitive to this topic.
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From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes.
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They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped.
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And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my
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physical body because I was somewhere else.
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The only thing that I could feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace, there wasn't
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anything else to be felt.
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I was greeted by people I had known in the past.
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I'm back home again.
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Incredibly safe and felt at home.
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Welcome everybody to Round Trip Death and I'd like to welcome our guest today, Sandy
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Toronto.
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How are you Sandy?
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I'm a little frazzled, but all right.
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You've had a busy day, haven't you?
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I have.
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I just got all my kind of rushed in the door.
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It's time and I'm so glad you made the time because what our listeners are about to find
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out, I almost said don't know, what they're about to find out is I've been trying to get
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you on here for six months.
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I'm sorry.
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And today is the day.
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No, don't apologize.
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I'm just excited because today's finally the day.
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I'm happy to be here.
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Okay.
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Hey, let's get to know you a second before we get into your near-death experience.
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Tell us, where do you live?
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What do you do?
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I live in New Hampshire and I have two cats and a child.
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I am a machinist and I'm very proud of that because when I was 42 in 2014, I was born in
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New Hampshire.
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I was homeless for a little while and during that time, I decided to take an eight-week
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boot camp, they called it, and become a machine operator, which is a little different.
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All a machine operator does is put parts in and take them out of the machine, but I have
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learned to hold the computer and tell it how to tell the machine what to do in order to
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make a part.
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A machinist basically is the person who runs a machine that makes tools or even woodworking
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people.
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They use lathe to make stool legs or things like that.
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I essentially take a person's idea and I literally bring it out into the world.
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That to me is just the most fascinating, beautiful thing about being a machinist.
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I love it and I'm glad that I am a machinist now.
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Creative.
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Before we get into your NDE per se, I know there's a lot of background that leads up
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to it.
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Yes.
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We've had a couple of guests on recently that experienced a lot of abuse as a child.
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Your story has a bit of that as well.
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I'm going to let you talk about as much or as little of that as you want, but kind of
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set the stage.
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Where were you?
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What was your childhood like that led to this first experience that you had?
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I was living in Idaho at the time.
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My mother had been arrested for prostitution and possession of controlled substances.
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She was in jail, the authorities needed some place to put me and my aunt said, hey, as
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luck would have it, we're foster parents and we'd love to have the kids.
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Hey, give them to us.
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That's how I ended up with what I call the foster monsters because they were just brutal.
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They were extremely abusive.
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I'll be honest, I was in one of those situations that most people turn the channel because
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they can't stand to even hear what the children went through.
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When I was finally rescued, I was seven years old and I was so malnourished and so skinny
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that the police officer hooked his thumb inside my pelvic bone and the back of his thumb wasn't
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even touching my belly skin.
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It was so caved in.
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I was starved during the entire time that I was with them.
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I was abused with tremendous violence.
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Some of it, I'm just going to kind of skate over fairly quickly.
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There was, I don't like the word sexual abuse.
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So I'm going to say it the way that I honestly see it.
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I was a child sex slave for four years from age three to seven.
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It was very violent and it was very painful.
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When that was over, I was almost always bleeding.
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In the morning, the foster woman would get up and she would find me that way.
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She knew what was happening and she was angry at me for seducing her husband.
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She would punish me in some way, shape, or form.
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One of her favorite ways was to take me in the bathroom and give me either an extremely
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hot shower or buckets and ice water in the tub and hold me in the tub and try to basically
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drown me or waterboard me or whatever.
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She would dunk me under and dunk me under and dunk me under over and over.
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Sometimes she would go too far and she would have to take me out and try to resuscitate me.
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I don't remember which of the near-death experiences I had during that time was the first one.
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I think there were around eight very kind of stereotypical NDEs during that time and
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two or three had a void experience as well and I had another couple of kind of short
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little visits.
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What ones do you remember and you can tell us a lot about?
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There are three that I talk about.
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I think that the earliest one of the three was when I was told that I was having far
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more kind of realistic or I kind of like to use the word pure but I'm not sure if that's
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even the right word.
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It's important to remember that they communicate to you with telepathy and you get just a chunk,
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like a concept all at once.
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You get a lot of information all at once because that's how the telepathy works.
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I don't say, you know, this is a rose, I think it's beautiful.
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I love to smell it.
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You just immediately get this sense that you get the whole feeling, how it feels for me
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to be holding the rose, how it feels for me to be, oh, it smells so wonderful.
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So you get the entire kind of thing in one instance.
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And when you say they communicate this way, you're talking about beings on the other side?
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Yes.
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Yes.
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In particular, I met with the same attendant over and over.
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It was the same being who met me each time.
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I at one point asked it, you know, well, what are you?
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And it kind of with amusement, you know, reply, don't you know?
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And I said, like, no, why would I ask the question?
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Which you know, below us were kind of amused at this.
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And it said, you know, some people call me a guide, some people call me an angel, some
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people call me a god, some people call me, you know, other things.
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None of those things are really accurate, but none of them are really inaccurate either.
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So you can call me whatever you want.
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And I just decided that, you know, you're just my attendant.
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You're my friend who's here to help me go around, do whatever.
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And it sort of gave me this chunk of information.
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And when you come back, you have to translate it into human words.
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So of course, as a child, I couldn't really do that.
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But as an adult, this is my way of expressing what it expressed to me, which is that I was
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having a more realistic experience of that transition space than most people do, because
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I was essentially just a blank slate.
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I was so abused, I didn't know how to brush my teeth.
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I didn't even know that brushing teeth was a thing.
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I remember the first time I discovered about brushing your teeth, I was fascinated.
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I got to watch a dancing toothbrush.
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Hey, that was good stuff.
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Anyway, I had very little teaching about anything.
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I was not going to school.
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I was between three and seven years old.
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So I believe when that one happened, I was around three or four.
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And I just had no understanding of the world at all.
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My world existed in that house and just the yard of that house.
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I was not allowed anything else.
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Rarely, I got to walk down to the stop sign with them.
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That's it.
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Every once in a while, we went to church.
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There were other places where the stuff was mic, the foster father took place that I don't
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want to get into that too much for this purpose.
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Anyway, so my world was very small, very, very small.
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I didn't know anything.
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And Mike and Dorothy, the foster people, they did not consider me to be a human.
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So they were doing nothing to teach me how to be one.
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I ate dog food on the floor and they called me a female dog.
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They said, this is why you're having a much more, what this place is like if you don't
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need something different.
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And it was very clear to me that we're given what we need when we cross into that place
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that we don't lose our minds, basically.
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The chance is that the person might return here.
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And if you take me and I'm living in New York City, let's say, and I step out of an apartment,
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I've got my coat on because it's winter.
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The snow is coming down super heavy.
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I've got a parka and boots on top of gloves on top of gloves.
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It's cold outside.
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I got my face all covered.
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And I walk out and I'm in the Sahara Desert.
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So what do you think that could do to a person's mind?
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That could completely destroy your mind.
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You know where you were.
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You stepped out the door and now you're in this place that you can't conceive.
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How did I get here?
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I'm not prepared for this.
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I'm dressed for snow and I'm standing here in a hot blazing sun in the middle of nothing.
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It would break your mind and it's very important to them that they don't break the psyche, basically,
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as the person transitions over.
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I didn't have any of that.
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I didn't expect to see a loved one.
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I was a child and nobody loved me as far as I knew.
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So who would I have expected to see?
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I didn't expect anybody.
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I didn't have an idea of religion really except they told me that Jesus doesn't love animals.
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You're just a stupid animal.
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Jesus is for humans and you're not one.
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Jesus hates you.
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So I had no real expectations or there was nothing there for me from my point of view.
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I didn't have an expectation of an experience, not even a subconscious.
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And most people say, oh, so I only see what I expect and I don't mean that in what your
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conscious mind expects.
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I mean that from what your subconscious mind expects because it's from that deep, deep
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level that you may say, oh, I think that my grandmother was the one who really loved
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me.
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Or you may think that, you know what, my grandmother, she always said she loved me
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because she hated me.
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So if you see somebody, if you see a figure and you know, like you feel it on every level
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of your being, that this being is the personification of love.
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The first person would see their grandmother because they, you know, my grandmother was
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unconditionally loving to me all the time.
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So grandma will say, hey, you know, maybe I've passed on, maybe I'm doing something
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else, but I'm a soul so I can multitask.
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I'll be there for you, honey.
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Don't you worry about it.
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I'll be there.
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And grandma's there.
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The other person is not going to see grandma because they're going to say, I'm seeing an
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unconditionally loving figure, an unconditionally loving being.
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Maybe they're going to see Jesus or Buddha or an angel, whatever their concept of
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unconditional love is.
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That's what they're going to find there.
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So in that near death experience, that was where I was given to understand my kind of
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role in this whole thing.
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And it was, someday you're going to talk about this.
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That's part of why you're doing this because someday, you know, you've chosen to take on
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this responsibility and you're going to pay a terrible price for it.
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That you'll be able to tell people, this was my experience.
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And this is what it's like.
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And you're loved.
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When you go home, you're loved.
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You're always loved.
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And if it feels any different, just ask for help and you'll be out.
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You'll be taken to the place where you're loved and welcome to one and then a place that
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you should have been if somebody hadn't taught you that you didn't deserve it or all the
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many things that are subconscious mind can be, can get embedded in it that says, you
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don't deserve love, so you're not going to have it.
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Again, it's not, that's not on the surface.
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It's in the deep subconscious mind.
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Okay.
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Help me for a minute to put the pieces together here.
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It's such a tragic story and I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
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When you were on the other side, what were you feeling, this attendant, did you feel
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love there?
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I did.
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Yes.
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You did for the probably the first time in your life.
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Yes.
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How traumatic must it have been to come back?
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Very.
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It was very.
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Were you given a choice?
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I was.
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I was given a choice every time.
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Tell me about that because one would think, why would you choose to come back?
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And believe me, I'm not giving you a hard time whatsoever.
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I just am trying to understand were you persuaded to come back?
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For lack of a better way of saying it, I just knew I would come back.
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I just knew.
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Okay.
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At another point, we'll probably discuss this a little bit, but for the purpose, to
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me, the purpose of life is to experience everything that the divine being cannot.
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That the divine, you know, I call it the divine paradox.
240
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So we come here to solve the divine paradox.
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And for some of us, that means taking on a lot of weight and we do it.
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We come here, all souls that come here in my belief in my worldview and what I learned
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from my in the East.
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We come here out of love.
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And our purpose here is to solve the divine paradox.
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I knew that I would come back because I love so much.
247
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But it was, it was not easy.
248
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And I feel like, you know, have a lot of anger at my soul for choosing this.
249
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I understand that it was an important thing and it had to be done.
250
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But it's, you know, this has been hard and it's still hard today.
251
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My life, all of my life has been very hard.
252
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And even talking about this is really hard and have a lot of fear around it.
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But it's the knowledge that I do it out of love that keeps me going.
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00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:41,720
And I finally kind of came to a understanding of my soul because I ask myself, you know,
255
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if my child would die, if I didn't do this, if my cats would cease to exist, if I didn't
256
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do this, if you would cease to exist, if I didn't do this, if rainbows and puppies and
257
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kittens and butterflies and all the wonderful, beautiful things in this world were to cease,
258
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would I do this life again to save those things?
259
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:13,760
Would I experience everything I have again so that my child could live so that you could
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live so that my pets could live?
261
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Oh, puppies, kittens, butterflies.
262
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Yes, yes, I would, I would do that.
263
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:32,760
So I understand why my soul would say yes out of love because as much as I hurt and as
264
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hard as my life is, if I would do that for someone that I love, if I would go through
265
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all of this for someone that I love, then I would go through this for the whole universe.
266
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And I believe that that's the case for every one of you.
267
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We do this out of love.
268
00:19:53,800 --> 00:20:00,000
So I guess the real reason that you came back was not for yourself, it was for others.
269
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,200
Yes.
270
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,920
Was there anything else from the childhood NDEs that you can remember that you might
271
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:13,160
want to share, anything that you saw or felt or any other messages that you might want to
272
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,520
share?
273
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:24,240
I believe that my out of body experience is for me, one of the most important of my childhood
274
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experiences.
275
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:35,160
And that's because for me, it is the one thing that I can never deny.
276
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And at times I've doubted, okay, fine, what if my NDEs weren't real?
277
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But if they actually are some big release of chemicals in the brain or whatever, I don't
278
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:48,640
even know.
279
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:56,160
I've looked into all of the skeptical things and I'm not buying any of them.
280
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,600
And one of the biggest reasons is because of my out of body experience.
281
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:11,480
When I was six, just after I turned six, the foster parents, first they killed my mother
282
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:17,600
and you would have thought that that would have been the reason why we went on the run
283
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,520
across the country, but that's not why.
284
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:25,520
Mike violated one of the other foster girls and she escaped.
285
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,000
How many foster kids were in the home, by the way?
286
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,760
There were seven of us.
287
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:31,760
Oh, wow.
288
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,760
Okay.
289
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:33,760
Yeah.
290
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,680
At one point there was 17 and nobody knows what happened to the other 10.
291
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:38,680
Oh, okay.
292
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,720
Now, when you say they killed your mother, are you being literal here?
293
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,720
Yes.
294
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:51,640
They murdered my mother and they dismembered her and I saw them dismembering her.
295
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,320
I watched it.
296
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,640
Please tell me these people have been in jail for a long, long time.
297
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:57,640
No.
298
00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,760
They both died without any repercussions at all.
299
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,880
My mother was a prostitute and a drug addict.
300
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,320
If you don't understand what I'm saying there, what I'm saying there is nobody cared.
301
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,640
Nobody cared.
302
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:21,920
And I've spent most of my life trying to get somebody to do something, to arrest them and
303
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,320
then they died.
304
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,680
It took that long.
305
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,360
It took 40, five years.
306
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:30,560
And they still haven't done anything.
307
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,360
About the other foster kids.
308
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:39,120
Some kids in the foster system get really close with others in the family that they're
309
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:44,080
with because they're holding on and surviving with each other.
310
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:49,160
Others because they've been abused in bad situations are pretty bad to be around.
311
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,680
What was your experience?
312
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,640
We all went our own separate ways.
313
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,020
As far as I understand, all of our lives have been hard.
314
00:22:58,020 --> 00:23:02,200
One of them played chicken with a train and lost.
315
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,080
I think it was probably suicide.
316
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,560
One of them is still alive.
317
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:13,120
He and I don't have any contact.
318
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:15,920
And we haven't had contact since 19.
319
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,800
Well, actually, I didn't still didn't have contact with him then.
320
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:30,640
So since 1977, 1978, 1978, I actually haven't had any contact with any of them except for
321
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,640
one.
322
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:36,800
Kathleen, the girl that I was just talking about, she died of an illness.
323
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,920
I'm not sure what the illness was.
324
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,400
I believe it was in 2004.
325
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,880
So it was a while ago.
326
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:51,720
The eldest of the foster kids who did not go on a run with us, he's a serial killer on
327
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,600
death row in San Quentin.
328
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,440
His name is Ramon Rogers.
329
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,160
People can look him up.
330
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:04,520
My half brother and I haven't talked since I was 23 or so.
331
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:10,880
That's pretty much, I mean, everybody's their own, you know, gone narrow in separate ways
332
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,720
all in the wind.
333
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:18,080
So do you think the NDs that you had as a young child helped you survive all of this?
334
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,080
Definitely.
335
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:23,880
I mean, factually, I would just say factually.
336
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,720
Would you have given up without him?
337
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:30,000
Oh, I think I just would have been dead without him.
338
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:36,760
I mean, I don't know how to say this and I usually don't say this quite like this, but
339
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:40,360
I've taken to just being honest about it lately.
340
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:44,480
You know, my childhood was so bad that I literally didn't survive it.
341
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,960
Repeatedly didn't survive it.
342
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:54,000
So without the near death experiences, without, you know, being given the option to come back,
343
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,280
without that mechanism existing, I would be dead.
344
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,280
I don't know any other way to say it.
345
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,640
I mean, I was dead and I came back.
346
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:13,320
Like I walked back into my body essentially, so of course I would be dead, but I also think
347
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:20,000
that, you know, just from a more psychological standpoint, I definitely think I would have
348
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,000
been dead without him.
349
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:27,200
I tried to commit suicide in my twenties and I think I would have tried a lot sooner than
350
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,560
that without that.
351
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:34,840
Also, you know, the combination of that and a very strict religious upbringing after I
352
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:42,800
left where, you know, suicide is self-murder and you're going to hell if you do that.
353
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:49,680
You know, suicide is prohibited, but so is trying to get help so they won't do it.
354
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:54,080
Sounds like we need to find out just a little bit more about the rest of your childhood.
355
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,120
You said that you were saved at age seven.
356
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,320
How were you saved?
357
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,080
I want to hear a little bit of a happy ending here.
358
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:06,840
There was a private detective and that's what my other book that I was telling you a little
359
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:12,640
bit about, that actually is the arc, the entire arc of that book.
360
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,960
The detective chased them across the country.
361
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:25,360
He chased them from Idaho up into Oregon and Washington state and then all the way across
362
00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:30,240
the United States until we were rescued in Arkansas.
363
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:37,760
And interestingly in Arkansas, they weren't actually trying to get us at that point.
364
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:43,560
They got, they arrested them for a stolen vehicle, for receiving a stolen vehicle.
365
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:50,360
And that's how we got rescued is because they didn't care about the warrant from Idaho.
366
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:53,560
They didn't care that, I mean, we were foster kids.
367
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,240
They were like, they're foster kids with their foster parents.
368
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,280
What do you want about, we don't, why would that be our business?
369
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:01,280
We don't care.
370
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,680
What proof do you have the Therapeutic Museum?
371
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:04,680
That's ridiculous.
372
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,880
Leave us alone about it.
373
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:13,000
So finally he was able to find something that he could get them arrested on.
374
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:17,880
And when they came to arrest them, like I said, they found us just, you know, they found
375
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,880
me skin and bones.
376
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,600
They found the other kids not well off.
377
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:27,840
We were living in one of those gross homes with, you know, garbage in the corners.
378
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:34,040
And I was watching a true crime video the other day and I was thinking, oh, God, that's
379
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:38,240
the, that's the place I used to live in.
380
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,080
He just, he just stuck with it.
381
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:47,200
He stuck with it for half the, that's, I mean, that's half, more than half the nation.
382
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,840
You know his name?
383
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:54,120
I do, yes, but he doesn't want me giving that out.
384
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:55,120
Okay.
385
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,960
I was just going to let you send Kudos his way, but if he would rather be private, we'll
386
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,760
respect that.
387
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:11,440
Well he, I have given him his, you know, I've told him, I actually cried so hard, I couldn't,
388
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,040
I could barely speak.
389
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:18,720
And I told him how much I appreciated him and, and that, you know, he would be the hero
390
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,720
in the book and he is the hero in the book and he's the hero in my life.
391
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:23,720
Okay.
392
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:28,760
Well, our podcast is, is not about foster system or abuse per se.
393
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:35,560
I know we've gone down that road, but, but I have to ask one more question anyway.
394
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,960
After you were rescued, did it get better?
395
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,920
Well it would be hard for it not to get better than that.
396
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:47,080
But did it get good, should I say?
397
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:53,000
People want a happy ending and I know they want the happy ending, but it's been really
398
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,000
rough.
399
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,360
My grandparents adopted me and they didn't really want me and I ended up back in foster
400
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:02,080
care and those two were so rough, right?
401
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,080
Yeah.
402
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:08,400
You know, but I'm here, I'm here and I have a child that I love very much and I have two
403
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,760
cats that I love very much and you know, that's, that's my happy.
404
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,000
How old is your child?
405
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,500
17.
406
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:20,000
Just about to turn 17, Halloween baby.
407
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,280
You had a couple of experiences as an adult too.
408
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:25,120
Do you want to tell us about those?
409
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:31,360
Those are much less interesting than my out of body experience, but they're still interesting.
410
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:38,720
One of them was kind of a revisiting of the idea that we choose the life that we come
411
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,120
to live here.
412
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:45,320
And it was just more like a parable and I always am worried about a little bit about
413
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:52,080
telling this because people like focus on aspects of it and they're like, well, what
414
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:53,080
about that?
415
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,880
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, that, that, that wasn't important.
416
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,760
Yeah, but no, no, no, no, no.
417
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,600
So I'm going to try to tell this really carefully.
418
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:08,520
And I will try not to be one of those people if I can.
419
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:13,400
Stop me early before I make a fool of myself if I'm going down that road.
420
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,900
Okay.
421
00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:21,720
I passed out in the laundry room and I found myself like, I don't know why, but I never
422
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,320
really did the tunnel thing.
423
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:29,680
Anyway, I found myself in the clouds, was my attendant there.
424
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:35,560
And whereas for my entire childhood, my attendant just looked like a light being, you know, sort
425
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:42,680
of humanoid form of light with kind of wings ish from the, I don't know, I don't even know
426
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,280
how to explain it, kind of an aura.
427
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:53,560
This time they presented themselves as a Buddhist monk, a young monk.
428
00:30:53,560 --> 00:31:00,960
And he was sitting there and it's like, you know, hey, yo, and I'm like, you're not really
429
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,840
a Buddhist monk, are you?
430
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,360
As always, I'm what you want me to be.
431
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:10,400
So we kind of chuckled about that just a little bit.
432
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:17,440
And then he said, you know, I want to show you what you've been wondering about, which
433
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,160
is, you know, choosing your lifetime.
434
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:28,160
And the next, you know, like this kind of train station opened up where I'm watching
435
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:39,160
it from above, and this gigantic angel walks in and she's significantly larger than the
436
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,920
other kind of angels there.
437
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:46,960
I'm just using the word angels because at the time I was very religious and I thought
438
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:53,000
of angels as being, you know, exalted kind of beings, but these are souls.
439
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,400
So I want to make that clear.
440
00:31:54,400 --> 00:32:00,040
These were souls and they were in lines like at ticket booths.
441
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:08,240
And this angel walks in and she's holding this like, or like token or whatever you want
442
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:09,520
to call it.
443
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:16,000
And she's got it on a necklace and she's holding on to it and she's walking in and
444
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:20,440
everybody kind of stops and they're turning and they're looking and they're like, oh,
445
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,600
hey, look, look.
446
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:28,880
This token means that she has kind of earned the right to go to anything she wants.
447
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:38,120
She can go have a super wonderful lifetime as a firefly on Rigel 5 or, you know, whatever
448
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:47,520
she wants to do, whatever, vacation land, she can, you know, be a horse, whatever.
449
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:54,520
And she walks in, she starts looking at each of the places and I can see, you know, this
450
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:59,280
is a vacation life and this got a long line and that's a vacation life and it's got a
451
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:05,240
long line and the next one's a nice life and it's got a longish line.
452
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:09,760
She keeps walking along and she gets down to the end.
453
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:17,360
At the end, there are three booths and each of these three booths are mostly deserted.
454
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:24,040
There's, you know, one or two people in the first one and the other two, they're bad.
455
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:29,040
These are the lifetimes that are like, okay, nobody wants to do that.
456
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:30,040
Nope.
457
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,520
Nobody would ever want to do these lives.
458
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,240
They're important though.
459
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,640
They're kind of necessary.
460
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,520
They're valuable, I guess, would be the word.
461
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:50,160
She takes her token and she walks over to the last one, when she slides her token across
462
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:57,160
the table or the counter and all the people are like, oh my God, she's not doing that.
463
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:00,520
She's doing anything, she's not going to wipe, she's doing that.
464
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:07,480
They're kind of whispering to each other like, and the angel on the other side of the ticket
465
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:13,280
booth pushes the coin back, oh, you don't want to do that.
466
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,840
And she pushes it back to him.
467
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:17,480
Yes, I do.
468
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:18,480
He pushes it back.
469
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,960
No, you don't.
470
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:24,720
She picks it up for a minute and she thinks about it and she puts it down and she slides
471
00:34:24,720 --> 00:34:25,720
it back.
472
00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:26,720
Yes, I do.
473
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:31,840
Throw hands her the ticket and he says, you're going to fail.
474
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,080
And she says, I know.
475
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,960
And he says, well, then why do it?
476
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:41,880
And she says, because somebody has to.
477
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:49,960
She turns and she walks over towards the portal of birth and people at the lines are like,
478
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:50,960
she's going to fail.
479
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,160
Why would she do that?
480
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:53,160
She's wasting this.
481
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,440
She's going to fail.
482
00:34:55,440 --> 00:35:04,640
She gets there and she hands her ticket over and the person working there is like, I know
483
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:05,640
you're going to fail.
484
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:06,640
You don't want to do that.
485
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,160
You're wasting it.
486
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,800
And she says, I'm going.
487
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:15,000
So they take it, rip it up.
488
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:18,400
And all the people kind of come a little closer, a little closer.
489
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,440
She's going to fail.
490
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,960
And the worker at the portal says, you're going to fail.
491
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:25,960
You know that, right?
492
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,320
He says, yes.
493
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,880
Why do it?
494
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,480
I have to try.
495
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,320
Somebody has to try.
496
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:37,720
And she jumps into the portal and way she goes.
497
00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:46,440
And one thing that's really important to me to note is that this is the story of humans.
498
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,640
That's not my story.
499
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:53,120
It is my story, but it's our story.
500
00:35:53,120 --> 00:36:02,400
It's the human story that we come to this most difficult and dangerous and painful and
501
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,320
horrible experience.
502
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:14,040
And we assume that we could fail and fail is way too big a word.
503
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:19,200
I don't know of a better word to use, but it's also important to me that people don't
504
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,440
take that word too seriously.
505
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:26,240
It just means to like not complete.
506
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:32,760
And we have this really heavy judgment about failing.
507
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,080
That was the word that I first used.
508
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:44,560
That was the word that I thought of when I tried to translate this experience into English
509
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,880
language.
510
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,120
So we don't take that word too seriously.
511
00:36:49,120 --> 00:37:01,720
But also her having this token around her neck and she has earned a vacation.
512
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:06,700
As souls we can have a vacation anytime we want.
513
00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:14,480
That was just again kind of me trying to interpret the sense that she could do anything she wanted.
514
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,440
She could go anywhere, be anything.
515
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:22,880
She was not, there was nothing requiring her to do this.
516
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,800
She had wonderful options.
517
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,400
She had wonderful things she could go do.
518
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:32,640
She could have gone and been so happy and she chose this.
519
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,740
And that is the human story.
520
00:37:35,740 --> 00:37:37,360
We could have gone anywhere.
521
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,160
We could have done anything.
522
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:49,600
But because we love so immensely our soul has so much love that it chooses to come here,
523
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:56,400
forget who and what it is and slog through this human experience.
524
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:02,780
So just please interpret all of that with great care.
525
00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:05,600
The word fail was my word.
526
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:11,320
There is no judgment on the other side for not completing.
527
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:19,920
They were just in awe that you know this soul is taking on this task that probably can't
528
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:20,920
be completed.
529
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,440
Like a life that hard.
530
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:28,560
And in the most technical sense I died repeatedly.
531
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,280
So I kind of didn't complete it.
532
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:36,120
But I kept coming back and I kept coming back and I kept coming back.
533
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:41,280
And that is the only reason I'm still here is because I made those decisions to go back
534
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,880
over and over.
535
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,320
So in your opinion, what's next?
536
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,320
What's next with what?
537
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:48,320
I'm sorry.
538
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:54,800
Well, you're talking about why coming here to live this life on earth.
539
00:38:54,800 --> 00:39:01,000
So when we do finally die and not come back like you did as a child, what's next?
540
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:09,480
The experiences that I had in the afterlife were profoundly beautiful.
541
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,160
I played.
542
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,240
I visited other planets.
543
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,320
I saw things.
544
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,640
I even saw people.
545
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:22,000
I call them like I've been using the word pocket universes, but I think maybe I'll just call
546
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:26,280
them like pocket realities or pocket worlds.
547
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,560
I don't know.
548
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:35,040
They basically create a bubble of reality where they can do anything they want together.
549
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:43,320
So you could play, I don't know, Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or Breaking Bad or like
550
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,080
you can just play and experience.
551
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,600
You can build worlds.
552
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,600
You can build societies.
553
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:58,800
You can help forge societies on positive planets.
554
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:06,960
The one rule on the other side that I'm aware of is one rule because it's the only one that's
555
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:10,080
needed necessarily.
556
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,920
And that is just respect others.
557
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:20,000
If there's a planet forming and it's a lava planet, don't just go play in the lava without
558
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:24,440
saying, hey, do you mind if I make a volcano over here?
559
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:25,800
Just respect.
560
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:26,800
That's it.
561
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,960
That's the rule and everything falls under that rule.
562
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:40,320
I believe that the highest tool and the highest emotion is love, but the highest virtue is
563
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,560
respect.
564
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:46,560
Everybody just has respect for everybody there.
565
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:52,160
Whether wise, have fun, enjoy your life, enjoy experiencing things.
566
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,440
There's no time there.
567
00:40:53,440 --> 00:41:00,080
So you could spin an infinite, you know, you can do the Harry Potter's from beginning
568
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,840
to end over and over and over if you want to.
569
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,640
If you're your best buddies, you can Lord of the Rings.
570
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:13,120
You can Lord of the Rings from the dawn of elves all the way through, you know, the third
571
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,960
age or whatever, the third kingdom.
572
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,360
I don't remember.
573
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:17,360
I don't want to.
574
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:18,360
Please don't make me.
575
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,360
And you don't have to.
576
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,560
That's the magic of it all.
577
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,720
If you like space, go examine space.
578
00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:29,360
If you're a musician, you're going to have new sound.
579
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:35,560
You're going to be able to hear every level of sound like humans have the tiniest little
580
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:39,080
range of sound that we can use.
581
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,600
Over there, you can hear it all.
582
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:48,880
If you're an artist, you have countless colors that you can paint with now, countless colors,
583
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:49,880
not shades.
584
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,800
Yeah, that we can't even see here.
585
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:53,800
Yes.
586
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,560
We don't even have receptors for it.
587
00:41:56,560 --> 00:42:04,520
So there's next is whatever you want to be next with very few limitations.
588
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:05,520
Okay.
589
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:06,520
I got to ask.
590
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:12,600
Tell me about the planets you saw and was this in your adult experiences or as a child,
591
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,040
do you remember?
592
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,600
That was all in my, definitely my child experiences.
593
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:18,600
Okay.
594
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,280
Do you remember anything about them?
595
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,280
I do.
596
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:31,720
I remember some of them very well and part of them were part of the, the NDE where I
597
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:38,960
met with the divine being and it gave me the download about being a paradox, the divine
598
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,840
paradox.
599
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:46,520
So just to tell you that near death experience and kind of how that played out was, I was
600
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,960
there with my attendant and we kind of did the playing out in space.
601
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:56,000
Apparently, I really liked space before I even knew what space was.
602
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000
And I enjoyed it a lot.
603
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:06,600
We were doing that and finally, attendant kind of stopped and said, what is the question
604
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:10,240
that you want to ask, but aren't asking?
605
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:19,560
And I just kind of remember pouring out all of my questions all at once, like this whole
606
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,280
sense and the word came out.
607
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,280
Why?
608
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:29,920
But as I said, in the telepathy, it's always a full concept.
609
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:38,240
So it was in that one burst of pain and agony, it was, why me?
610
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:39,680
Why evil?
611
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,360
Why am I suffering so much?
612
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,960
Why do other people suffer so much?
613
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:44,960
Why?
614
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,120
Like just all of it.
615
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,120
Why?
616
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:50,840
So my attendant said, who was me?
617
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,080
Okay.
618
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,840
And off we went.
619
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:58,440
It took me to a planet.
620
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,200
We were just instantly there.
621
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:09,560
I was looking up at seaweed, but they were like trees almost.
622
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:15,360
It was huge, just very, I don't know.
623
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,840
Leaves, they were just leaves.
624
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,840
It kind of made me think of tulip leaves.
625
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:26,880
So they were very, very tall and they were, they rippled sort of.
626
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:30,680
Some of them were gold with red and some with green with gold.
627
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:37,920
And this planet, I understood as soon as I was there that this planet was entirely water
628
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:41,920
with like an earth-like core.
629
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,360
And then just water was the rest of it.
630
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:48,840
There were no land elements on it above the water.
631
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,640
It was in a binary system.
632
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,240
Suns and zeros?
633
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:56,440
Trenary system.
634
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,440
Suns.
635
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:58,440
Sorry, suns.
636
00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:59,440
Oh, okay.
637
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:07,320
The last sun was far enough away that it kind of looked like a moon, but there were three
638
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:08,920
suns.
639
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:13,040
There were beings there that I consider mermaids.
640
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:18,600
And most people, when you see mermaids drawn in like books and art and all that kind of
641
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:19,600
thing.
642
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:24,920
They're fins at the bottom go side to side, but these beings fins actually went front
643
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:25,920
to back.
644
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,840
And I remember noticing that.
645
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:36,160
And when I later saw drawings of mermaids and stuff thinking, well, that's not right.
646
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,160
I saw them.
647
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:39,200
I was allowed to see them from a distance.
648
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,560
They lived a little bit higher up closer to the surface.
649
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:48,560
All of the intelligent life forms on that planet lived up closer to the surface.
650
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:54,160
So that was one way that you could tell on that, which ones were advanced in of a higher
651
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,200
evolution.
652
00:45:56,200 --> 00:46:04,120
We went down into the planet deeper into the water and met with kind of dolphin like beings.
653
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,200
They could see us.
654
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:06,640
The other ones could not see us.
655
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,960
The first group that we saw them were mates.
656
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:10,960
Mermaid people.
657
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:11,960
Sorry.
658
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,560
They were gentlemen as well.
659
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:21,920
These beings took me in and just like they showed me their living space in these wonderful
660
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:22,920
caverns.
661
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:28,920
They were incredible, just beautiful structures that were actually living things similar to
662
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,600
coral.
663
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:38,920
Some of them were gigantic tubes that during certain time periods, sometimes hundreds of
664
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:44,400
years, sometimes just every few decades, depending on the circumstances of the planet, they
665
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:53,160
would come up out of their tubes and they would consume debris from the water.
666
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:58,960
A lot of them were tiny little creatures similar to coral.
667
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:00,560
It was incredible.
668
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:08,200
Again, colors that we don't have here, just intricate and beautiful.
669
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:13,360
And after they showed me their home, they kind of came out and they sang into the water
670
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:22,480
and very much like dolphins or humpback whales, you are water mammals do.
671
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,920
And they were not mammals.
672
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:34,240
The other pod, another pod came towards us and while they did, the pod that we were with
673
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:42,040
sort of swam in circles around me and I could feel them sort of in my energy field, I guess,
674
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:46,600
was the best way I can express it, helping me.
675
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:55,600
When they were done, they kind of moved back away and they said, we have blessed you by
676
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:01,000
taking some of your sorrow and pain.
677
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:09,280
And so I bowed to them and I blessed them and I told them that they would rise up more
678
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:13,760
quickly to the level of those above because of their kindness to me.
679
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:20,840
And the other pod arrived and they as well did the same thing and they accepted their
680
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:26,120
blessing as well and went back on their way.
681
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:32,080
We left from that planet and we went to another planet.
682
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:40,520
It's interesting because time is not really sequential there, so I don't always remember
683
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,200
what sequence I tell these in.
684
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:48,360
So I apologize if they're out of my usual sequence.
685
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:58,400
But another planet that we went to was these giant crystal spires that were, because they
686
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:03,120
were homes basically for the people that lived there.
687
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:08,440
And the people would take turns and they would just sing to the crystals and the crystals
688
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:18,080
because they were singing to them would grow into the right shape or form or usage for
689
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,160
the beings who were going to live in it.
690
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:27,200
There were beings who would live in the top of them and these were not necessarily intelligent
691
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:31,920
species like what we would think of a sapient species like humanity.
692
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,160
They were not like that.
693
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:41,040
They were more a sentient species like cats and dogs and that kind of thing, but different.
694
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:46,480
So there were species that lived in the top and then these people who lived there would
695
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:51,400
sing to the crystal and they were just incredible, beautiful.
696
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:59,680
It was almost like the crystals themselves wanted to create something that was not only
697
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:08,760
homey and comfortable, but also just beautiful and elegant and delicate.
698
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:10,880
They were absolutely magnificent.
699
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:16,160
Well, the beings here, I did not go and talk to them because again, it would have been
700
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:17,160
disrespectful.
701
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:21,680
They were sapient beings, the sapient people that lived there.
702
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:28,440
They were kind of similar to us, but they had softer, rounder faces.
703
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:37,880
They were a bit willowy or than we are and they did use clothing, but it was just for
704
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:38,880
leisure.
705
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,440
It was for fun.
706
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:48,400
They liked to dance with flowing garments, just colorful swinging in the breeze as they
707
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,400
danced.
708
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,680
I really loved that one.
709
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:57,840
There were the creatures that lived on the top of them were kind of like flying squirrels,
710
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:03,560
but very large and they would jump from one to the next to the next and it was quite a
711
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:04,560
spectacle.
712
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:05,640
It was just beautiful.
713
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:10,800
Maybe humans would have been like, what?
714
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:16,120
I was not even necessarily human at that time, but I was like, wow.
715
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,480
The next place had three species.
716
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:29,520
There was a species that was kind of similar, like a cross between a cow, a horse and a
717
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:30,520
primate.
718
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:37,800
They walked on all fours and their front legs, they could curl their hands up and at where
719
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:44,800
we would think of as like the knuckles, there were hard pads like both legs things that
720
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,160
they could walk on.
721
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:54,120
Their back legs were similar to horses or cows, more like cows, I think.
722
00:51:54,120 --> 00:52:01,600
They had these primate friends who would hitch a ride, but they would be underneath them
723
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:07,160
as they walked, not riding on their back, but instead just their arms wrapped around
724
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,160
them.
725
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:16,440
The third species was just kind of, they were primate, very primate, like and very helper
726
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:19,000
to the others.
727
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:24,400
The second species could see us and the other two couldn't.
728
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:30,760
When they did, they raised both hands up, like just in a greeting and I understood it, like
729
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:35,760
we would think of it as a surrender gesture, but to them, that was just their way of saying,
730
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:40,680
hello, hello, hello.
731
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:46,320
When they did that, the others would kind of turn blindly in our direction and raised
732
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:50,240
their arms as well, hello, hello.
733
00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:52,400
It was also very beautiful.
734
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:59,800
Their life was very, very simple and yet it was very clear that all three species were
735
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:01,960
very intelligent.
736
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:09,760
The third species less than the other two, but both of the first two would be much more
737
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:17,560
intelligent than Einstein, Tesla, think of our great minds, they were radically more
738
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:18,560
intelligent than them.
739
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:25,640
I don't think I've ever remembered to mention that before, but the very simplicity of the
740
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:32,920
way they lived, if we as humans, like let's say we got into space, we flew there, we landed
741
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:39,320
on it, we would think they were the most primitive idiots and we could just do, you
742
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,040
know, roll them over.
743
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,040
No way, no way.
744
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:50,880
They were brilliant beings and they were just living the way they loved to live.
745
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:55,080
They were happy, they were so happy.
746
00:53:55,080 --> 00:54:04,440
One important thing about the three planets, this was less the case of the lower, lower
747
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:15,000
in the water life forms, but of the water planet, from most of them, when they died,
748
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:23,840
what we think of as dying, they simply were like, hey guys, love ya, I'm off, I'm out
749
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:29,280
of here, and that's it, they just left and the body just into dust.
750
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,880
There's no radiation.
751
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,200
There's no decay.
752
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,720
Nobody eats something that's living.
753
00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:45,440
All of their nourishment, energy, that all comes from their sons, all of it.
754
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:48,440
It's not like here.
755
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:56,480
People seem to really believe that the universe is just full of the way that Earth is, you
756
00:54:56,480 --> 00:55:03,560
know, predation and degradation and decay and, you know, oh, we have to have bugs because
757
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:08,440
they're the ones that scavenged death and it's not like that.
758
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:14,560
They just decide to go and they kind of turn into dust.
759
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:20,560
This is amazing and sounds fantastic and we need to wrap up here soon.
760
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:24,400
I have a couple of quick questions.
761
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:30,120
This first one, I do not mean this rudely or facetiously at all, but what would you
762
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:35,040
say to someone that said, oh, that was just a six-year-old's imagination making that
763
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:36,040
stuff up?
764
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:38,240
How do you know it's real?
765
00:55:38,240 --> 00:55:40,800
So first off, the out-of-body experience.
766
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:45,280
I listened to a conversation away from my body and when I returned back to it, I was
767
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:48,240
able to repeat the conversation word for word.
768
00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:51,400
I mean, a six-year-old doesn't remember that.
769
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:52,400
That's number one.
770
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:56,920
But number two, as I mentioned early on, I was kept extremely isolated.
771
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,040
I didn't know anything about planets.
772
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:01,040
I didn't know anything about suns.
773
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,880
I didn't know anything about black holes.
774
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:07,440
I didn't know anything about any of those things that I saw.
775
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:11,080
I had no frame of reference for that whatsoever.
776
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,200
I didn't know about aliens.
777
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:14,600
Nothing.
778
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:22,000
I just can't imagine that somehow as a completely isolated kid who didn't know how to read,
779
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,480
wasn't allowed to watch TV, etc., etc.
780
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:28,920
I understood about planets.
781
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,440
I understood about evolution.
782
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:34,720
It just doesn't make any sense to me.
783
00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:35,720
Yeah.
784
00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:37,520
That's a good explanation.
785
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:38,520
Yeah.
786
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:43,640
Also, I know it's real because it was more real than here.
787
00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,640
This is not very real.
788
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:47,640
Yeah.
789
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:49,120
This is not very real.
790
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:53,400
We don't have sensors to see the colors that I saw.
791
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:56,240
We don't have the depth of hearing that I had.
792
00:56:56,240 --> 00:56:59,680
So it's not possible.
793
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:01,800
That's a great explanation.
794
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:08,600
And lastly, out of all of these experiences, what would you like to share with the people
795
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:09,600
listening today?
796
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:13,560
We have thousands of listeners all over the world.
797
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:14,920
This is your time.
798
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:18,920
Choose love when you can.
799
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:22,840
Remember that the first person who needs love is you.
800
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:28,120
And when you can, respect the greatest virtue.
801
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:33,160
Even if you can't love somebody, just be respectful of them if you can.
802
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:41,160
Last but not least, please understand that everybody in the entire world, everybody
803
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,000
deserves love and that means you.
804
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,440
Too many people cannot bring themselves to love themselves.
805
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,560
There is no judgment from the other side.
806
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,720
There's no expectation that you do this, that, or the other thing.
807
00:57:54,720 --> 00:58:00,680
So pick a passion, stick to it like a burr and go for it.
808
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:01,680
Go all out.
809
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,240
Nobody's going to be mad at you.
810
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,280
There's not some special thing you have to find.
811
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:08,680
Oh, I have to find my purpose in life.
812
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:09,680
You're here.
813
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,720
That's your purpose in life.
814
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:13,280
That's it.
815
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:16,160
Everything else is great for you.
816
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:17,160
Thanks, Sandy.
817
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:18,160
That was great.
818
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:23,600
Thank you so much for having me.
819
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:28,480
Thanks to you for listening and remember to follow and share this podcast.
820
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:58,320
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.
