Ainsley Meets "The Carpenter" During His Near Death Experience

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From the time that they pronounced me dead was

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a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then

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they paddled. My heart, my heart had stopped

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and I could see people screaming and crying but

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I didn't realize that was actually my physical

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body because I was somewhere else. The only thing

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that I could feel if you could imagine absolute

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love and peace, there wasn't anything else to

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be felt. I was greeted by people I had known

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in the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly

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safe and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round

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Trip Death, everybody. And a very warm welcome

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to our special guest, Ainsley Threadgold, down

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in Florida. How are you this morning, Ainsley?

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I'm very well, thank you very much. How are you?

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I'm doing great. We have spring here. I know

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in Florida you have spring all year long. I would

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love you to tell our audience just a little bit

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about you and explain why you don't have a southern

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accent. Ready, go. Well, I think it's quite obvious

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that I'm definitely not from Florida, albeit

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that I've lived here. Well, I've been in the

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States since 2019. Also spent a couple of years

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on Maui with my wife. Other than that, it's been

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Florida. I'm from the UK originally. A little

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bit about myself. I was a police officer for

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a long time there, something I was always passionate

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about. It was my way of helping people. Since

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getting citizenship, I've been lucky enough to

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continue that on Maui and I'm continuing that

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with Florida as well. I'm just coming to the

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end of yet another police academy. Hopefully

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this will be the last one. I'm getting a little

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bit old for it now. But again, police and I've

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still got a passion for it. It's something that

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I feel as though is a great way of me helping

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people. And as we'll discuss with my near -death

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experience, how that links in with quite how

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I help people in my role is a little bit different.

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Well, thank you for all you do. This is going

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to be fun today. I don't think we have ever had

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on the show someone who has had a near -death

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experience and then a little while later we have

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their spouse who's had a near -death experience.

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So about a month ago we had Krista Gorman on

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the show and she was a great guest and you also

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had a near -death experience. Before we get into

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yours, would you tell us your commonalities have

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something to do with you getting together? In

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a nutshell, yes. So many synchronicities for

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how we met and those synchronicities have continued

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through our relationship in relation to us both

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having had near -death experiences. As I'll discuss

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later, the energy of Krista was actually in mine,

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so we were destined to meet. We've had lifetimes

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together, we know that, we've had different past

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life experiences where we know that our love

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has... continued, there is that Chinese proverb

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of the little fine red piece of string that attaches

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to people and doesn't matter how tangled they

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are or how far they are apart, but if you're

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meant to meet, you're meant to meet. With our

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meeting, it was a group of circumstances that

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very definitely put us in front of each other

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and kept us there. Our lives at the time were

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not conducive to a relationship. in any way,

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shape or form, living four and a half thousand

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miles apart, her being here in Florida and me,

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you know, still being in the UK, coming to the

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end of our first marriages. And we certainly

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weren't on the market and we weren't looking

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for anything. We just found each other and found

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something that was so compelling that we never

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really lost touch. And then when the time was

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right, it was like, now it's a little bit more

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than friendship. And, you know, we had to...

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really admit to ourselves and each other that

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there was something so special it was worth the

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challenge of making a go of the relationship

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we spent. just about four years, you know, building

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the relationship while we were still in separate

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countries and, you know, eventually going through

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the immigration process. We did it all properly

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and we got married and then we went through the

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immigration process, which took us about 14 months.

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So, you know, even though we were husband and

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wife, I still had to go and work in the UK and

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she was still living here for a while. So anyone

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who talks about the long distance relationships,

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it's normally the next town or maybe, you know,

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across the country. They don't really talk about

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it being in two separate countries. We live in

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proof that it's worth making it work when you

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know when you know. Not even two separate countries,

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but across the whole ocean as well. That's a

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big gap. Well, we'll talk more about some of

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those synchronicities. Oh, big word for me this

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morning. Synchronicities later, but let's get

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into it. What happened back when you were 13

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years old? When I was 13, I remember the thing

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with mine is that the event happened and I had

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no memory of it for 20 plus years. So the event

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itself happened on a boring Tuesday. I more recently

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discovered that the date was June 16th, 1993.

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I remember the last lesson I had on that day

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was French and I remember looking out the window

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just counting down the time before I could go

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home. That evening, my brother and I were given

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the task of helping my dad deliver pamphlets

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for local government. My parents were both avid

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with local government at the time and we were,

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you know, it was one of those times where they

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were having a local election, so my brother and

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I were tasked with helping my dad deliver leaflets.

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It's one of those boring evenings where you're

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just posting things through, you hope there isn't

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a dog on the other side to bite your fingers,

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and that was it. There was nothing more exciting

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than that. The last place that we were to go

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to, my dad put us in the car and drove us there,

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and I remember seeing the sign for the road,

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it was a country road called Clay Lane, so I

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distinctly remember seeing that sign, and then

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I don't remember anything else. What actually

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happened was that my father had... parked us

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up somewhere safe and we were delivering leaflets

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either side of clay lane to get it covered and

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at some point during that time I was hit by a

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car. I was told later, when I eventually woke

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up in hospital, that the car was travelling at

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about 40 miles an hour. Being a police officer,

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I know the statistics for survival. If a child

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of my age at the time and my size was hit at

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30 miles an hour, then there's an 80 % chance

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of survival with injury and a 20 % chance that

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you don't come back at all. Well, at 40 miles

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an hour, it's reversed. So there's an 80 % chance

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that that child doesn't come back at all. and

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a 20 % chance of survival. Normally that's with

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quite significant injuries, you know, brain injuries,

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life changing. So that was the event. And as

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I say, I don't recall anything, or I certainly

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didn't recall anything until I woke up in hospital

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many, many hours later. I was remembering it.

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I was in a bed that wasn't mine. I was in this

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dimly lit orange room, which I knew immediately

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wasn't mine. And I remember looking up. and seeing

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my parents and my brother sat on three plastic

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chairs, looking very concerned. That was my first

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memory of something out of the ordinary happening

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there. My short -term memory was shot, so apparently

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I kept having to be reminded of what happened.

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I was asking the same question over and over

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again, albeit that my memory isn't quite the

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same. But that was it. I went through the process

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of finding out what was wrong. I had a long operation

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to... put my left leg back together. It was my

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left leg below the knee which was completely

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smashed. It was the bones were just bits and

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obviously I had some head injuries and other

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things as well. The only thing that I think was

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special at the time was that the doctor that

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worked on me wasn't meant to be there. So he

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was one of the top bone specialists in Europe

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and he was actually leaving that day and my case

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came in just before he left. So he stayed out

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of interest. asked the other doctors what they

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were going to do and they were like pins in a

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cage I mean you know it's a mess there he's lucky

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he's still got his leg and he was like I think

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I can manipulate everything back together without

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having to use any of those things and he did.

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So I didn't have to have a K, I didn't have to

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have pins. He told me himself that I had to have

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those things done. Then I would have been left

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with a permanent limp and probably by now I would

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have been in a wheelchair. So certainly no policing.

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So that was the only real miracle I can think

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of. At the time, the only strange thing that

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I had was that I could no longer wear watches.

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I'd been given a watch for my 13th birthday,

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and I was very proud of it. It was sat on my

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wrist at the time I was run over, and that, amongst

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other things, was broken and destroyed. So my

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parents, as a treat, bought me the same watch

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and gave it to me in hospital. And while I was

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in hospital convalescing, the watch stopped and

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broke. And then the next watch I had did the

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same thing. And as I grew up and grew past the

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initial event and followed my teens into my 20s,

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the same thing would happen over and over again.

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And then I discovered that I would also disturb

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radio signals. CDs would skip. When I eventually

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came around to having my first cell phone or

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mobile phone, as we call them in the UK, I would

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always notice that the signal around me was very

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poor or nonexistent. So I've had my phone in

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my pocket. I would very often miss calls or text

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messages, and when I took my phone out, put it

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away from me, then the signal would suddenly

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come back. I've also fried someone's digital

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camcorder while they were filming a session with

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me. It's the lady that eventually be the hypnotherapist

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that allowed me to recover the memories of my

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near death. She also did something called, was

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it now, forensic healing. While she was doing

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the training, she asked me if I would do some

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sessions and she would record them. and one of

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the sessions she recorded, and it was quite a

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profound session for me. You know, she bought

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this brand new camera, she spent a lot of money

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on it, digital camera, and she did the recording.

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After the session, she came to try and download

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the information from it, and it wouldn't work,

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it wouldn't turn on. So she took it back to the

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store, and they said, I don't know what you've

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done with it, but you've fried the insides. It's

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like... that was that was our thing. It's just

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messing with electricity. So that was the only

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thing that I noticed that was different about

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me. Otherwise, I just got on with life. And it

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wasn't until I was older that I was given the

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opportunity to remember things. I find that so

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interesting. I've heard this from a few other

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people, a few other experiencers. It certainly

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doesn't happen to everybody. But I can think

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of a handful one person that said that a watch

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would run for about a month. And so they had

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12 watches, one for every month. And after a

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while, so they would wear it for a month, it

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would work, and then it would die. They would

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put it in a drawer, pull out the next one. After

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a few months, it would start working again. And

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so they just rotated through all these watches.

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Somebody else that was on the show talked about

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going into a cell phone store. trying an Android

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phone, using it for a few seconds and then it

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would totally die. So the clerk got her another

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one, used it for a few seconds, it totally died.

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For some reason, an iPhone didn't do that. Now,

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this is not an iPhone commercial, but I find

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this really peculiar and super interesting. I've

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never seen any study or science done on it. Do

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you have any personal theory of your own of why

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this happens? I actually spoke to someone that

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did a particular type of healing modality with

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people and he was saying that what tends to happen

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with someone who's had a profound experience,

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now whether it be a spiritually transformative

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experience or a near -death experience, is as

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a vessel there are cracks in the vessel because

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we've had the profound experience and it's caused

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a disturbance in the force. And it's those cracks

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with the energy of who we truly are hasn't quite

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transmuted itself back into this vessel. So we're

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going back into a smaller vessel than we left.

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You know, we realize that we're bigger and it's

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the process of healing where those cracks are

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still present and the energy is still very strongly

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coming out that he found was possibly the cause

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for the electrical disturbances. I mean, we are

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electromagnetic, so it stands to reason that

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if we've had something profound happen to us

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that, you know, that does change things. We found

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that when people were on a healing journey that

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very often they would find a way of balancing

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that. And I certainly have found that the only

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time I tend to drain things now is if I'm emotionally

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in the wrong place and I try and keep myself

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steady. Certainly with the work I do, it's no

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good for me to store things or not deal with

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things. I certainly have found a way of balancing

00:12:50.519 --> 00:12:52.960
my energies enough so that most of the time I

00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:56.139
don't disturb energies too much. When I have

00:12:56.139 --> 00:12:57.799
done it in the past, I've drained a car battery.

00:12:58.299 --> 00:13:01.860
So that is a big one. Yeah, yeah, and it was

00:13:01.860 --> 00:13:05.340
my car as well, so it was a right pain to spend

00:13:05.340 --> 00:13:07.379
the money to get it changed and things like that.

00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:10.419
So I know the importance of balancing my energies,

00:13:10.600 --> 00:13:12.980
not just because I don't want to drain my phone

00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:15.980
or mess with the radio or things, but it's more

00:13:15.980 --> 00:13:18.720
important for life in general. But yeah, he touched

00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:21.419
on it and it was like the healing process between

00:13:21.419 --> 00:13:24.120
you've had an incident which is life -threatening,

00:13:24.179 --> 00:13:27.210
life -changing, you've come back. you might not

00:13:27.210 --> 00:13:28.950
necessarily remember that you wanted to come

00:13:28.950 --> 00:13:31.029
back. You know, a lot of people wanted to stay

00:13:31.029 --> 00:13:33.450
and felt as though they were forced back. So

00:13:33.450 --> 00:13:36.129
there's that, you know, there's also that disparity

00:13:36.129 --> 00:13:38.529
between having this wonderful experience and

00:13:38.529 --> 00:13:41.830
coming back into this life and not being the

00:13:41.830 --> 00:13:44.629
same. And then relationships fall apart and,

00:13:44.789 --> 00:13:47.649
you know, the people who were left, they're happy

00:13:47.649 --> 00:13:49.570
that you're back, but then you're suddenly different.

00:13:49.570 --> 00:13:52.330
So you're not the same person that they remember,

00:13:52.470 --> 00:13:54.889
you know, and that could be, well, you had this

00:13:54.889 --> 00:13:56.610
accident, you were sleep for a bit you woke up

00:13:56.610 --> 00:13:58.789
and you were a different person and they don't

00:13:58.789 --> 00:14:00.669
understand so you know there's all of these little

00:14:00.669 --> 00:14:03.070
things these fissures that need to be healed

00:14:03.070 --> 00:14:06.110
and unless you are open to it and aware of it

00:14:06.110 --> 00:14:09.210
then that's where you know you do end up being

00:14:09.210 --> 00:14:11.389
told and I think it's like little universal signs

00:14:11.389 --> 00:14:13.629
look there's something not quite right here it's

00:14:13.629 --> 00:14:15.889
not normal for people to drain the battery on

00:14:15.889 --> 00:14:17.870
a car so what's going on with you we have to

00:14:17.870 --> 00:14:20.450
be a little bit more careful I think yeah okay

00:14:20.779 --> 00:14:23.600
Let's jump up to the NDE itself. Some people

00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:26.259
remember these immediately when they wake up

00:14:26.259 --> 00:14:28.899
from whatever happened. I've talked to some people

00:14:28.899 --> 00:14:31.360
that two or three or four days later or even

00:14:31.360 --> 00:14:33.679
a few months later remember. For you, it was

00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:36.559
about 20 years. First of all, what brought the

00:14:36.559 --> 00:14:39.399
memory back? And then let's talk about what happened

00:14:39.399 --> 00:14:42.340
and what you remember from it. When I was 34,

00:14:42.980 --> 00:14:47.539
I was probably in the worst spiritual state I

00:14:47.539 --> 00:14:50.059
could be in. I wasn't in that greatest state

00:14:50.059 --> 00:14:54.220
physically and I woke up one morning and had

00:14:54.220 --> 00:14:56.620
acute sciatica. Obviously sciatica normally affects

00:14:56.620 --> 00:14:58.759
the left side and in this case it did as well

00:14:58.759 --> 00:15:02.299
but I didn't have the pain. What I had was a

00:15:02.299 --> 00:15:05.259
lack of sensation or power in my left leg below

00:15:05.259 --> 00:15:08.000
my knee. Now as we discussed earlier that was

00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:11.639
where I broke my leg so below my knee was smashed

00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:15.220
and in this case when I was 34 the sciatica affected

00:15:15.220 --> 00:15:17.519
the same place and you know I couldn't stand

00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:20.379
on the leg, the calf muscles wouldn't work, I

00:15:20.379 --> 00:15:22.279
could wiggle my toes and you know if someone

00:15:22.279 --> 00:15:24.559
you know touched my foot and things I could feel

00:15:24.559 --> 00:15:26.879
that but there was just no power there. I had

00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:29.220
to have time off work because I can't be a police

00:15:29.220 --> 00:15:32.629
officer and not have full use of my legs. Whilst

00:15:32.629 --> 00:15:36.070
I was off trying to figure out how to sort this

00:15:36.070 --> 00:15:38.169
issue out, I went to go and see an osteopath

00:15:38.169 --> 00:15:42.570
who I'd used before. And while he was manipulating

00:15:42.570 --> 00:15:45.090
things on one of the sessions, I spoke to him

00:15:45.090 --> 00:15:47.549
about what I thought might be a correlation between

00:15:47.549 --> 00:15:51.029
the accident that I'd had when I was 13, i .e.

00:15:51.149 --> 00:15:53.809
where my leg had been affected. And now I was

00:15:53.809 --> 00:15:55.470
like, well, maybe there's some nerve damage there

00:15:55.470 --> 00:15:57.570
that's been irritated and maybe that's why it's

00:15:57.570 --> 00:16:00.730
been affected. And I spoke to him about the event

00:16:00.730 --> 00:16:04.470
and that I didn't really remember it and that

00:16:04.470 --> 00:16:06.990
I woke up and suddenly couldn't wear watches

00:16:06.990 --> 00:16:09.210
and things like that. And he said, well, it sounds

00:16:09.210 --> 00:16:10.950
to me like you've had a near -death experience,

00:16:10.950 --> 00:16:14.169
you just don't remember it. So he went to his

00:16:14.169 --> 00:16:17.090
bookshelf and pulled out a book on near -death

00:16:17.090 --> 00:16:20.809
experiences. And it was by a lady called Dr.

00:16:21.049 --> 00:16:25.090
Penny Sartori. Now, Penny Sartori was a nurse

00:16:25.090 --> 00:16:28.720
in Wales in the UK. for a high dependency unit

00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:32.419
and she'd had some very profound experiences

00:16:32.419 --> 00:16:35.399
with people who'd passed away in her presence

00:16:35.399 --> 00:16:38.259
who then came back and said I think I've been

00:16:38.259 --> 00:16:40.379
somewhere. One thing led to another and she was

00:16:40.379 --> 00:16:43.159
allowed to she was given grants to do this long

00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:46.519
-term study on the near -death experience in

00:16:46.519 --> 00:16:48.980
the hospital setting and that culminated in her

00:16:48.980 --> 00:16:52.389
first book so the book was given to me. and I

00:16:52.389 --> 00:16:55.250
was reading it and for the first time I was reading

00:16:55.250 --> 00:16:58.590
people's experiences where I could relate to

00:16:58.590 --> 00:17:01.070
the after effects it's like oh that sounds like

00:17:01.070 --> 00:17:02.730
things I've been through and that sounds like

00:17:02.730 --> 00:17:05.230
me and you know not fitting in quite and having

00:17:05.230 --> 00:17:06.970
the problems with electricity and stuff like

00:17:06.970 --> 00:17:08.890
that so I was reading things and it's like for

00:17:08.890 --> 00:17:11.490
the first time I felt as though I wasn't strange

00:17:11.490 --> 00:17:14.519
or odd Again, I still didn't have a memory. There

00:17:14.519 --> 00:17:16.579
was nothing there that really triggered anything

00:17:16.579 --> 00:17:18.799
and, you know, it's slightly frustrating when

00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:20.680
you're almost there. It's like the word on the

00:17:20.680 --> 00:17:22.660
tip of your tongue. You just can't quite get

00:17:22.660 --> 00:17:25.019
it. So that's at that point that I was at. At

00:17:25.019 --> 00:17:27.400
the back of the book, there was a website for

00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:30.920
a near -death group in London. So I reached out

00:17:30.920 --> 00:17:32.720
to them because I was interested to see whether

00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:34.339
there was other people who'd had near -death

00:17:34.339 --> 00:17:36.700
experiences or, you know, had the after effects

00:17:36.700 --> 00:17:39.259
of a near -death experience but no memory. And

00:17:39.259 --> 00:17:42.500
they... eventually wrote back and said, you know,

00:17:42.619 --> 00:17:44.299
we have not heard anything like that, but, you

00:17:44.299 --> 00:17:46.119
know, keep it posted. We're, you know, we'd be

00:17:46.119 --> 00:17:49.039
interested to find out what you find out. And

00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:51.640
during that time, I was thinking, well, how else

00:17:51.640 --> 00:17:54.210
do I get hold of a memory that, you know, it

00:17:54.210 --> 00:17:57.069
might be buried deep in my head while hypnotherapy

00:17:57.069 --> 00:17:59.829
suddenly occurred to me. You know, I did a web

00:17:59.829 --> 00:18:02.029
search and there was, I think there was four

00:18:02.029 --> 00:18:04.329
names of people that were local to me. Funnily

00:18:04.329 --> 00:18:06.450
enough, the furthest person away from me was

00:18:06.450 --> 00:18:08.190
the one that jumped off the screen. It was like,

00:18:08.210 --> 00:18:09.829
you need to call this person, this person. It

00:18:09.829 --> 00:18:14.230
was like her name was almost prominent from the

00:18:14.230 --> 00:18:16.549
screen. It was like a 3D effect thing. It's like,

00:18:16.730 --> 00:18:18.990
call this person. So I did, I left a message,

00:18:18.990 --> 00:18:21.450
explained who I was and what I was interested

00:18:21.450 --> 00:18:24.470
in. And, you know, within an hour, she got back

00:18:24.470 --> 00:18:27.750
to me. The lady with his name was Karen and it

00:18:27.750 --> 00:18:29.529
was interesting because during the phone call

00:18:29.529 --> 00:18:31.930
it was like I'd known her for a long time. It

00:18:31.930 --> 00:18:33.430
was like we were a brother and sister or something

00:18:33.430 --> 00:18:35.750
like that. It was like a you know conversation

00:18:35.750 --> 00:18:37.970
with family. You know it put me at ease that

00:18:37.970 --> 00:18:40.509
I'd chosen the right person. We arranged for

00:18:40.509 --> 00:18:43.230
me to have a session and she explained to me

00:18:43.230 --> 00:18:46.289
how her sessions work and she was a fully qualified

00:18:46.289 --> 00:18:49.130
clinical hypnotherapist but she'd also gotten

00:18:49.130 --> 00:18:51.930
into the regressional hypnotherapy. And she said,

00:18:51.970 --> 00:18:53.869
well, you can do it in one of two ways. You can

00:18:53.869 --> 00:18:57.009
either have a short session and it gives you

00:18:57.009 --> 00:18:59.589
an indicator as to how this works, or you can

00:18:59.589 --> 00:19:03.190
just dive in with both feet and see what happens.

00:19:03.430 --> 00:19:06.009
Well, me being me, I want to dive in. We had

00:19:06.009 --> 00:19:09.250
the session. The way it worked was that she got

00:19:09.250 --> 00:19:12.289
me into a nice, relaxed state. I was lying on

00:19:12.289 --> 00:19:15.369
a massage table. She got me into a nice, relaxed

00:19:15.369 --> 00:19:17.829
state and she would get me to imagine a garden.

00:19:18.579 --> 00:19:21.240
and in the garden there was a series of pathways

00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:23.880
and steps going down and each time you went down

00:19:23.880 --> 00:19:26.579
a set of steps you went down a level in your

00:19:26.579 --> 00:19:29.779
consciousness and eventually when you were further

00:19:29.779 --> 00:19:34.839
enough down you were on a pathway and it was

00:19:34.839 --> 00:19:37.980
set on one side with trees and the other side

00:19:37.980 --> 00:19:40.990
was a wall with a series of doors. and the idea

00:19:40.990 --> 00:19:44.509
was that in that super conscious state you would

00:19:44.509 --> 00:19:46.349
choose a door, you would walk through the door

00:19:46.349 --> 00:19:48.869
and then you had a certain amount of tasks to

00:19:48.869 --> 00:19:52.430
do to discover what was going on, who you felt

00:19:52.430 --> 00:19:54.430
you were, was it something in this life, was

00:19:54.430 --> 00:19:56.650
it something in a past life and you would look

00:19:56.650 --> 00:19:58.670
at your feet first and then you would look up

00:19:58.670 --> 00:20:00.710
to see whether you recognized any clothes that

00:20:00.710 --> 00:20:02.250
you were wearing and then you would look at your

00:20:02.250 --> 00:20:05.160
surroundings and you would go from there. So

00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.920
the first experience I'll go over very briefly.

00:20:08.259 --> 00:20:11.460
It was actually a past life of mine and I very

00:20:11.460 --> 00:20:13.859
immediately realized that I was an old man and

00:20:13.859 --> 00:20:17.200
I was stood in a very old -fashioned 11th or

00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:20.339
12th century church in southern France. I knew

00:20:20.339 --> 00:20:23.980
that I was a devout Catholic monk, but I also

00:20:23.980 --> 00:20:26.359
knew that I was ashamed of my religion. for the

00:20:26.359 --> 00:20:29.480
first time I had a memory of looking at my old

00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:31.700
hands and I could see I was holding a cross but

00:20:31.700 --> 00:20:34.839
I was also holding my hands were bloody. The

00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:37.720
interpretation wasn't there so I went to the

00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:40.500
pulpit, opened the Bible that had always been

00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:42.559
a source of solace for me and the words didn't

00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:45.279
mean anything. Afterwards I realized that what

00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:48.700
was going on at that time in France is that the

00:20:48.700 --> 00:20:51.960
Cathars who were an off -cutting of the Catholics

00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:54.069
were being systematically slaughtered. by the

00:20:54.069 --> 00:20:56.970
Catholic Church. And the feeling of me having

00:20:56.970 --> 00:20:58.849
blood on my hands was because I felt as though

00:20:58.849 --> 00:21:01.109
I was part of it. You know, my religion was doing

00:21:01.109 --> 00:21:04.630
this and it's also me. So I was brought out of

00:21:04.630 --> 00:21:08.490
that experience and Karen led me to choose another

00:21:08.490 --> 00:21:10.809
door, but try and choose a door in your current

00:21:10.809 --> 00:21:14.329
life. So I chose the next door, did the same

00:21:14.329 --> 00:21:15.990
thing, looked at my feet and tried to figure

00:21:15.990 --> 00:21:18.390
out where I was, you know, looking at my surroundings.

00:21:18.390 --> 00:21:20.930
And I realized that by looking at my feet, I

00:21:20.930 --> 00:21:24.750
was half buried. in a ditch. I realized I was

00:21:24.750 --> 00:21:27.549
a child. I very quickly realized I was back at

00:21:27.549 --> 00:21:30.509
the scene of my accident. So I could see the

00:21:30.509 --> 00:21:31.970
ambulance. I could see the people coming out

00:21:31.970 --> 00:21:35.369
of the ambulance. I couldn't move. I could feel

00:21:35.369 --> 00:21:38.069
the dazed panic of realizing that something had

00:21:38.069 --> 00:21:39.990
happened, that I had no control over myself.

00:21:40.250 --> 00:21:42.849
I remember being put in the ambulance. During

00:21:42.849 --> 00:21:47.490
the ambulance ride, I was visited by my grandfather

00:21:47.490 --> 00:21:50.529
on my mum's side. He died three months before

00:21:50.529 --> 00:21:53.460
I was born. I was, you know... born to a grieving

00:21:53.460 --> 00:21:56.119
mother. So it's a grandfather I never knew in

00:21:56.119 --> 00:21:59.980
life, but he was with me. I later was told that

00:21:59.980 --> 00:22:03.259
actually my granddad, Tom, was one of my guides

00:22:03.259 --> 00:22:05.799
and he'd always been with me. But on this occasion,

00:22:05.819 --> 00:22:08.059
he was almost physically there. You know, he

00:22:08.059 --> 00:22:10.900
spoke to me and said how proud he was of me.

00:22:11.579 --> 00:22:14.240
And he said, I'd like you to do something for

00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:16.960
me if you can. When you see your mum, I want

00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:20.140
you to tell her how proud I am of her. He died

00:22:20.140 --> 00:22:23.519
when he was 49. With the situation at home at

00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:25.319
the time, I don't think he ever really got much

00:22:25.319 --> 00:22:27.960
chance to let her know that he was very proud,

00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:31.319
but he wanted that message to be passed on by

00:22:31.319 --> 00:22:33.160
me. He said, but for now, I want you to close

00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:34.700
your eyes and everything's going to be okay.

00:22:35.160 --> 00:22:39.460
So as I closed my eyes, I left my body and ended

00:22:39.460 --> 00:22:42.240
up in the clouds. It was like this cloud space.

00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:45.940
I was on this meandering cloud river and in front

00:22:45.940 --> 00:22:49.559
of me was this magnificent cloud city. And I

00:22:49.559 --> 00:22:52.509
was... floating towards the cloud city and as

00:22:52.509 --> 00:22:56.269
I got closer there was a figure in the distance

00:22:56.269 --> 00:23:01.049
coming closer to me, a male energy in a series

00:23:01.049 --> 00:23:03.890
of white robes came to be next to each other.

00:23:04.210 --> 00:23:07.529
I was brought to a standing position, the male

00:23:07.529 --> 00:23:10.950
figure knelt in front of me and he put one hand

00:23:10.950 --> 00:23:13.490
on my chest and the other hand on my face. Now

00:23:13.490 --> 00:23:16.329
the interesting thing for me being under hypnosis

00:23:16.329 --> 00:23:19.140
was that I was having this experience but I was

00:23:19.140 --> 00:23:21.900
also still somewhat aware of the fact that I

00:23:21.900 --> 00:23:24.500
was lying on the table and I could actually physically

00:23:24.500 --> 00:23:27.420
feel the heat of the hand on my chest and the

00:23:27.420 --> 00:23:30.599
hand on my face. He spoke very gently to me,

00:23:30.619 --> 00:23:33.799
he said, hello my son, I am the carpenter. You

00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:37.099
know me as I know you. I love you as you love

00:23:37.099 --> 00:23:40.960
me and as I love everyone else. You're very special

00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:43.960
to me and I would like you to do something for

00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:47.490
me if you choose to go back. I want to speak

00:23:47.490 --> 00:23:50.390
through you. Now at that point he said, you're

00:23:50.390 --> 00:23:52.930
not going to remember any of this until the right

00:23:52.930 --> 00:23:56.750
times. So the times bits important. But at that

00:23:56.750 --> 00:24:00.809
point, that was the end of the experience as

00:24:00.809 --> 00:24:03.890
far as I was aware. I was then brought back into

00:24:03.890 --> 00:24:07.529
my body. I had a very quick few memories of being

00:24:07.529 --> 00:24:10.589
semi -conscious in the hospital. And then I was

00:24:10.589 --> 00:24:14.190
brought back from the experience. the hypnosis

00:24:14.190 --> 00:24:17.470
experience. Now I figured that I'd been under

00:24:17.470 --> 00:24:22.950
for about 20 minutes. When I got the CD of the

00:24:22.950 --> 00:24:25.210
session, it was an hour and a half long. There's

00:24:25.210 --> 00:24:28.069
that complete time difference. You're away and

00:24:28.069 --> 00:24:30.049
you don't realize you're away that long and then

00:24:30.049 --> 00:24:32.589
all of a sudden you've been away for a while.

00:24:32.990 --> 00:24:36.339
And for me... Going into that experience, I tried

00:24:36.339 --> 00:24:39.240
to have no preconceived ideas. I didn't want

00:24:39.240 --> 00:24:41.839
to think that, oh, well, you know, I want an

00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:44.200
experience because the memories I brought back

00:24:44.200 --> 00:24:46.579
might just be horrible memories of being hit

00:24:46.579 --> 00:24:49.859
by a car, but I was prepared for it. I don't

00:24:49.859 --> 00:24:51.819
think I was quite prepared for actually coming

00:24:51.819 --> 00:24:54.940
back with an experience because where I was at

00:24:54.940 --> 00:24:58.059
the time in my life didn't really match with

00:24:58.059 --> 00:25:01.069
the responsibility of... having had an experience

00:25:01.069 --> 00:25:03.390
where I was told by someone who may or may not

00:25:03.390 --> 00:25:05.690
have been a Jesus energy telling me he's going

00:25:05.690 --> 00:25:07.750
to speak through me because I didn't feel as

00:25:07.750 --> 00:25:09.769
though I was worthy of it. So I had this elation

00:25:09.769 --> 00:25:11.670
and then all of a sudden this responsibility,

00:25:11.869 --> 00:25:14.269
this, you know, heaped on me for, you know, gosh,

00:25:14.369 --> 00:25:17.829
I've got to, how on earth do I, you know, be

00:25:17.829 --> 00:25:20.390
spoken through and, you know, help people when

00:25:20.390 --> 00:25:23.490
I didn't know how to help myself. I did realize

00:25:23.490 --> 00:25:26.589
that I had been spoken through a lot during my

00:25:26.589 --> 00:25:29.490
twenties and, you know, I hadn't really made

00:25:29.490 --> 00:25:32.089
the connection until that point where I've been

00:25:32.089 --> 00:25:33.849
an officer, I've been in and around the police

00:25:33.849 --> 00:25:36.289
since I was 25 and there'd been a number of occasions

00:25:36.289 --> 00:25:39.250
where people would just talk to me about anything.

00:25:39.549 --> 00:25:41.170
You know, they'd come for a policing reason and

00:25:41.170 --> 00:25:42.430
all of a sudden they'd be telling me something

00:25:42.430 --> 00:25:44.789
very personal that they'd never spoken to anyone

00:25:44.789 --> 00:25:47.490
else about and I just had the answer. and I never

00:25:47.490 --> 00:25:50.470
really knew why. It was just there. I was always

00:25:50.470 --> 00:25:53.069
very quick to interpret messages. When I went

00:25:53.069 --> 00:25:56.450
to church for a while as well, the messages would

00:25:56.450 --> 00:25:58.269
just come there and I never really knew why.

00:25:58.769 --> 00:26:01.529
And then when I woke up from having this hypnotherapy

00:26:01.529 --> 00:26:03.630
session, it was like, ah, maybe I've already

00:26:03.630 --> 00:26:06.089
been used and now I'm consciously aware of it.

00:26:06.990 --> 00:26:10.329
That's the first part of the memory of the experience

00:26:10.329 --> 00:26:13.430
and I'll get to the rest of it because there's

00:26:13.430 --> 00:26:16.680
a... set of synchronicities that led me to remembering

00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:19.339
the rest of it. What do you say to people who

00:26:19.339 --> 00:26:21.880
don't believe that memories that come through

00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:25.700
hypnosis are real? I know some people, most people

00:26:25.700 --> 00:26:27.940
realize yeah this is a real thing but I've heard

00:26:27.940 --> 00:26:30.960
of some that don't believe it or don't believe

00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:33.200
in past life regression. What do you have to

00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:35.160
say to them? To me it really doesn't matter.

00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:38.440
There are scientific studies on memory and where

00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:41.230
memory comes from. and if you are remembering

00:26:41.230 --> 00:26:44.529
a true event, especially something which is highly

00:26:44.529 --> 00:26:47.089
emotive, so whether it's a traumatic event or

00:26:47.089 --> 00:26:49.509
whether it's a really nice happy event that really

00:26:49.509 --> 00:26:52.009
means something to you, there is an emotional

00:26:52.009 --> 00:26:53.970
connection with that memory which gives you an

00:26:53.970 --> 00:26:55.970
emotional release and there's a particular part

00:26:55.970 --> 00:26:58.630
of the brain that lights up when you have a memory.

00:26:58.890 --> 00:27:02.589
as opposed to when you are told to make a story

00:27:02.589 --> 00:27:05.230
up. So when you're telling someone a story that

00:27:05.230 --> 00:27:07.230
you've made up, different parts of your brain

00:27:07.230 --> 00:27:10.769
lights up because it's the story making parts

00:27:10.769 --> 00:27:12.470
of the brain and it's different from the memory

00:27:12.470 --> 00:27:15.390
parts of the brain, the emotive memory. And for

00:27:15.390 --> 00:27:18.630
me, if ever I've questioned it myself, I always

00:27:18.630 --> 00:27:21.049
have to go back to how emotional it has been

00:27:21.049 --> 00:27:23.029
for me to share in the past. There's certain

00:27:23.029 --> 00:27:25.130
times where I've broken down in tears because...

00:27:25.150 --> 00:27:29.250
You know, it's such an emotional thing to recall.

00:27:29.650 --> 00:27:32.049
It had a massive impact and it's completely changed

00:27:32.049 --> 00:27:35.009
my life. It was changing my life without me realizing

00:27:35.009 --> 00:27:37.970
it and then certainly after I came back from

00:27:37.970 --> 00:27:41.789
the hypnotherapy sessions, I can't go back to

00:27:41.789 --> 00:27:45.049
who I was. You know, I was very closed off. I

00:27:45.049 --> 00:27:48.130
had been painfully shy as a child into a teenager

00:27:48.130 --> 00:27:50.769
and that followed me my whole life. very quick

00:27:50.769 --> 00:27:54.150
reference, until I realised that I needed to

00:27:54.150 --> 00:27:57.529
do something to love myself, I couldn't get dressed

00:27:57.529 --> 00:27:59.710
without being under a towel. And that was if

00:27:59.710 --> 00:28:01.769
I was completely on my own in the house, I'd

00:28:01.769 --> 00:28:03.589
have to wrap myself up in a towel. I was completely

00:28:03.589 --> 00:28:05.690
ashamed of who I saw in the mirror. And if I

00:28:05.690 --> 00:28:07.109
looked at myself in the mirror, it was always

00:28:07.109 --> 00:28:09.549
the side I look. I could never really truly look

00:28:09.549 --> 00:28:11.329
at myself because I wasn't really happy with

00:28:11.329 --> 00:28:14.509
who I saw. So after that point the responsibility

00:28:14.509 --> 00:28:16.630
or part of the responsibility I felt was for

00:28:16.630 --> 00:28:19.509
me to start to heal myself and go on that journey

00:28:19.509 --> 00:28:22.890
instead and learn how to talk about how I felt

00:28:22.890 --> 00:28:25.289
and I didn't really know how to do that and it

00:28:25.289 --> 00:28:27.670
took me a long while. Krista certainly has helped

00:28:27.670 --> 00:28:30.670
with that, you know, still helps with that. It's

00:28:30.670 --> 00:28:34.369
the distinct change that tells me that what I

00:28:34.369 --> 00:28:38.859
had experienced was true because If it was, you

00:28:38.859 --> 00:28:40.779
know, made up like a dream or something like

00:28:40.779 --> 00:28:42.460
that, if you ever had a dream that's completely

00:28:42.460 --> 00:28:44.420
changed your life, I don't think anyone has.

00:28:44.779 --> 00:28:46.220
Some people have turned around and said, oh,

00:28:46.220 --> 00:28:48.660
maybe the experience is, you know, just your

00:28:48.660 --> 00:28:51.180
brain's last ditch attempt to try and stay alive.

00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:53.599
And, you know, it's like a hallucination or maybe

00:28:53.599 --> 00:28:55.619
it was drug induced. Well, the hallucinations

00:28:55.619 --> 00:28:57.980
are different. You know, the long lasting effects

00:28:57.980 --> 00:29:00.500
of hallucination are completely different from

00:29:00.500 --> 00:29:03.859
the effects of an experience or, you know, something

00:29:03.859 --> 00:29:06.789
like that. It's changed my life, and if other

00:29:06.789 --> 00:29:08.849
people don't believe it, well, that's fine. I

00:29:08.849 --> 00:29:11.230
mean, if they haven't had that experience, then

00:29:11.230 --> 00:29:14.970
how can they tell? Yeah. Who cares? OK. Was there

00:29:14.970 --> 00:29:17.150
anything else that happened before we talk about

00:29:17.150 --> 00:29:20.309
the synchronicities? So many things, but there's

00:29:20.309 --> 00:29:23.930
only so much time today. So much time in it.

00:29:25.289 --> 00:29:27.430
I've had this in the past where I've talked about

00:29:27.430 --> 00:29:30.269
the whole thing. It's taken me a long time because

00:29:30.269 --> 00:29:33.170
there's lots to it. So I try as much as possible

00:29:33.170 --> 00:29:36.410
to skip to the good bits and try and cover as

00:29:36.410 --> 00:29:39.089
much in a short time as possible. All right.

00:29:39.210 --> 00:29:41.509
Well, tell us something you've never told anybody

00:29:41.509 --> 00:29:47.750
before. Oh, talk about put you on the spot. There

00:29:47.750 --> 00:29:50.710
may be something we find interesting that you

00:29:50.710 --> 00:29:53.299
don't think is interesting. That I will that's

00:29:53.299 --> 00:29:55.160
yeah see this the thing about doing the talks

00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:57.680
is like, you know, I try and narrow things down

00:29:57.680 --> 00:29:59.799
and I and I have talked about different aspects

00:29:59.799 --> 00:30:02.680
during different talks I've done and You know,

00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:04.980
I've always tried to let things just flow again

00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:08.079
if I'm being spoken through then I always you

00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:10.900
know use that as a guide to whatever whatever

00:30:10.900 --> 00:30:14.410
is meant to you know, come out, comes out, whatever

00:30:14.410 --> 00:30:16.890
emotion I'm meant to feel, I feel. I try not

00:30:16.890 --> 00:30:19.369
to mask things. You know, I have, you know, openly

00:30:19.369 --> 00:30:22.650
cried on different podcasts and things before,

00:30:22.789 --> 00:30:26.130
just because of, you know, being reminded of

00:30:26.130 --> 00:30:29.549
the experience is quite profound. I think the

00:30:29.549 --> 00:30:32.569
only thing that I haven't really shared was just

00:30:32.569 --> 00:30:36.890
before Krista and I left Maui, we went to the

00:30:36.890 --> 00:30:39.579
top of Haleakala to watch the sunset. So we've

00:30:39.579 --> 00:30:41.640
been up there a couple of times for you know

00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:43.119
at different points in the day and we've been

00:30:43.119 --> 00:30:46.000
there over the Christmas period one time and

00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:48.579
it was it was midnight so it was completely pitch

00:30:48.579 --> 00:30:51.319
black we were the only ones up there but this

00:30:51.319 --> 00:30:53.200
time just before we left we decided to go and

00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:55.539
see what a sunset would be like with as high

00:30:55.539 --> 00:30:59.299
up as Haleakala is you know the the cloud base

00:30:59.299 --> 00:31:01.640
is a lot lower than the peak of the mountain

00:31:01.640 --> 00:31:05.059
with the way that the sun was And the way that

00:31:05.059 --> 00:31:08.559
the clouds were was the only time I've ever seen

00:31:08.559 --> 00:31:10.799
something which was very similar to the cloud

00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:13.720
city that I saw. And that was very profound for

00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:17.740
me to actually visualize something that came

00:31:17.740 --> 00:31:21.160
as close as anything else to having that vision.

00:31:21.619 --> 00:31:23.819
I've been up there for sunrise. I can picture

00:31:23.819 --> 00:31:26.640
what you're talking about. Yeah. And I know quite

00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:28.460
a few people have. By the way, if you haven't

00:31:28.460 --> 00:31:31.099
done it, take a blanket with you. It can be a

00:31:31.099 --> 00:31:32.829
little chilly. Yeah, it's the same thing with

00:31:32.829 --> 00:31:34.430
the sunset as well. As soon as the sun starts

00:31:34.430 --> 00:31:37.269
to go down, it's like, oh yeah, you know, can

00:31:37.269 --> 00:31:39.529
be a little bit cooler up there. But yeah, so,

00:31:39.630 --> 00:31:41.069
you know, from a different perspective for the

00:31:41.069 --> 00:31:43.430
sunrise, you know, if it hits the clouds in the

00:31:43.430 --> 00:31:45.029
right way, you've just got that, you know, golden

00:31:45.029 --> 00:31:46.990
light that hits the clouds. And it was just to

00:31:46.990 --> 00:31:49.769
say it's about the closest that I can think of

00:31:49.769 --> 00:31:51.589
in my life where I've actually pictured something

00:31:51.589 --> 00:31:54.769
which was about as beautiful. And I know it's...

00:31:54.589 --> 00:31:57.789
funny we say about the Hawaiian Islands is Kauai

00:31:57.789 --> 00:32:00.049
for Krista. Some of the views there were the

00:32:00.049 --> 00:32:02.789
closest things that she could picture to part

00:32:02.789 --> 00:32:05.769
of her experience. So it's interesting that there's

00:32:05.769 --> 00:32:07.170
a, you know, now I'm talking about it, there's

00:32:07.170 --> 00:32:09.630
a synchronicity there for us as well. All right.

00:32:09.789 --> 00:32:11.369
I'm going to turn the interview over to you.

00:32:11.390 --> 00:32:14.230
Where do you want to go next? I suppose it would

00:32:14.230 --> 00:32:17.289
be nice for me to explain what I mean by when

00:32:17.289 --> 00:32:20.269
I said about the right times during the last

00:32:20.269 --> 00:32:23.509
part of the memory that I had during the hypnotherapy.

00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:26.640
I knew at the time that there was a point to

00:32:26.640 --> 00:32:29.519
me not having any memory of the near -death experience.

00:32:29.660 --> 00:32:31.640
I mean, if I'd have woken up as a 13 -year -old

00:32:31.640 --> 00:32:34.119
child having had the full experience, then that

00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:36.079
would have completely changed my life and taken

00:32:36.079 --> 00:32:39.319
me in a different direction than I was destined

00:32:39.319 --> 00:32:42.259
to go in. And certainly, I'm not sure how well

00:32:42.259 --> 00:32:44.140
it would have gone down at school, had a, you

00:32:44.140 --> 00:32:45.859
know, oh, Ains, you know, knowing you got run

00:32:45.859 --> 00:32:47.660
over, but how was your summer? Oh, well, you

00:32:47.660 --> 00:32:49.980
know, it was part of the running over. I went

00:32:49.980 --> 00:32:51.990
somewhere and met someone that... may have been

00:32:51.990 --> 00:32:53.829
Jesus and he told me that he was going to speak

00:32:53.829 --> 00:32:55.849
through me. It doesn't really, you know, doesn't

00:32:55.849 --> 00:32:58.390
really deal with the kids. So I'm kind of glad

00:32:58.390 --> 00:33:01.970
that when I had the remembering, it was at a

00:33:01.970 --> 00:33:04.829
time where as an adult, I could really correlate

00:33:04.829 --> 00:33:07.130
it to the different points in my life. Well,

00:33:07.710 --> 00:33:12.630
not long after the experience that I was given,

00:33:13.250 --> 00:33:17.559
I wrote back to the near death UK group and told

00:33:17.559 --> 00:33:19.859
them and you know they were the first people

00:33:19.859 --> 00:33:23.900
outside of my immediate family that I shared

00:33:23.900 --> 00:33:28.160
with and they were very happy that I'd had the

00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:30.839
experience and said oh you live near Manchester

00:33:30.839 --> 00:33:32.759
and I was like yeah I live in Cheshire which

00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:34.279
is next door and they were like well we were

00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:37.180
hoping to set up a near death group up there

00:33:37.180 --> 00:33:40.309
because we're being flooded. with people who

00:33:40.309 --> 00:33:42.650
have requests that we just can't get to and they

00:33:42.650 --> 00:33:45.349
live that way. So we've got someone else who's

00:33:45.349 --> 00:33:48.009
interested in setting the group up. Would you

00:33:48.009 --> 00:33:50.910
also be interested in helping out? And I was

00:33:50.910 --> 00:33:53.650
like, yeah, of course, whatever I can do. They

00:33:53.650 --> 00:33:57.329
put me in touch with a lady called Kelly Walsh

00:33:57.329 --> 00:34:03.130
who became vital to my meeting Krista and also

00:34:03.130 --> 00:34:06.309
became a very good friend. She'd had an experience

00:34:06.309 --> 00:34:09.389
after trying to commit suicide. She visited seven

00:34:09.389 --> 00:34:11.489
different realms during this experience and came

00:34:11.489 --> 00:34:14.150
back with a message that like -minded souls would

00:34:14.150 --> 00:34:17.650
come together to change the world. And she also

00:34:17.650 --> 00:34:20.510
came back with this idea of a character called

00:34:20.510 --> 00:34:23.570
the Positivity Princess. So she was the embodiment

00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:27.389
of the Positivity Princess. And she wanted to

00:34:27.389 --> 00:34:31.349
find a way of getting souls to connect as, you

00:34:31.349 --> 00:34:33.949
know, she'd been given this task, I suppose,

00:34:34.070 --> 00:34:37.070
with her experience. So we got to know each other.

00:34:37.889 --> 00:34:40.110
And she was like, well, I find it very useful

00:34:40.110 --> 00:34:42.489
on Facebook with the near -death groups on there.

00:34:42.929 --> 00:34:45.210
Are you on Facebook? And at the time, I'd come

00:34:45.210 --> 00:34:47.269
away from it. I'd been off Facebook for a couple

00:34:47.269 --> 00:34:51.050
of years. And I was like, I'm not really sure.

00:34:51.550 --> 00:34:53.510
I didn't really have a good experience last time.

00:34:53.590 --> 00:34:55.250
And she was like, oh, no, no, honestly, this

00:34:55.250 --> 00:34:57.329
is totally different. These people are lovely.

00:34:57.730 --> 00:35:01.230
And they're from all over the world. So I set

00:35:01.230 --> 00:35:05.960
up another profile. I got onto Facebook and after

00:35:05.960 --> 00:35:08.079
a short time I've been on there, she said, I

00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:10.800
want to set up my own group called the Positivity

00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:13.159
Power Movement. Will you help me? Yeah, of course.

00:35:13.340 --> 00:35:16.380
What do I do? So she said, well, who do you already

00:35:16.380 --> 00:35:19.739
know from the near death family? And I knew a

00:35:19.739 --> 00:35:21.639
few people by then. I was like, well, can you

00:35:21.639 --> 00:35:23.360
invite those people? And she said, I'll invite

00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:25.869
people that I know. So we invited, you know,

00:35:26.010 --> 00:35:28.070
lots of different people to this group. And when

00:35:28.070 --> 00:35:30.150
we got a nice little group of people, you know,

00:35:30.250 --> 00:35:32.210
from America and Canada and different parts of

00:35:32.210 --> 00:35:35.409
the UK, we were given the task of creating videos,

00:35:35.409 --> 00:35:37.489
you know, talking about who, you know, briefly,

00:35:37.889 --> 00:35:40.130
who are you? And, you know, what experience have

00:35:40.130 --> 00:35:42.230
you had? And, you know, what is it that you want

00:35:42.230 --> 00:35:44.130
to do to change the world? Other people had done

00:35:44.130 --> 00:35:45.969
their videos and everyone was like, oh, this

00:35:45.969 --> 00:35:48.590
is great. And likes and loves and lots of, you

00:35:48.590 --> 00:35:50.869
know. Lots of love was shared about what they

00:35:50.869 --> 00:35:52.809
put out there, and you're so brave, and it was

00:35:52.809 --> 00:35:54.349
almost like a big round of applause for everyone.

00:35:54.969 --> 00:35:57.670
I did a video that I felt really strongly about

00:35:57.670 --> 00:36:01.570
and got no likes. As far as I was aware, no views,

00:36:01.849 --> 00:36:05.269
no loves, no comments, and nothing. So my ego

00:36:05.269 --> 00:36:07.269
was hurt a little bit. But I didn't realize that

00:36:07.269 --> 00:36:09.369
someone had watched the video, had watched the

00:36:09.369 --> 00:36:12.650
video a few times. And that person was Krista.

00:36:13.090 --> 00:36:17.519
Now she said... the the energy of the video you

00:36:17.519 --> 00:36:19.420
know certainly with me being a you know a big

00:36:19.420 --> 00:36:22.019
guy you know big roughy toughy cop talking about

00:36:22.019 --> 00:36:24.820
love and compassion she said it hit like hit

00:36:24.820 --> 00:36:27.000
her like a freight train and she was like who

00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:29.380
is this guy i think she watched it five or six

00:36:29.380 --> 00:36:32.119
times and just couldn't get over the energy of

00:36:32.119 --> 00:36:35.500
the video and how it struck her she did a video

00:36:35.500 --> 00:36:40.360
and i had a similar feeling so you know we shared

00:36:40.360 --> 00:36:45.349
a few messages here and there, and began to develop

00:36:45.349 --> 00:36:48.929
a relationship, a friendship online. It took

00:36:48.929 --> 00:36:51.769
us about nine months because, like I said before,

00:36:52.510 --> 00:36:55.050
with where we were in our lives, it wasn't conducive

00:36:55.050 --> 00:36:57.110
to anything else other than a long -distance

00:36:57.110 --> 00:37:00.190
friendship. But as time went on, things changed.

00:37:01.230 --> 00:37:04.349
My marriage ended, her marriage ended a little

00:37:04.349 --> 00:37:07.570
bit later on than that, and it was like... Maybe

00:37:07.570 --> 00:37:09.530
there is something here, maybe there's a reason

00:37:09.530 --> 00:37:12.150
why these things are happening and we still are

00:37:12.150 --> 00:37:15.329
in touch, albeit that I drew away a few times.

00:37:15.610 --> 00:37:18.969
But by the end of 2015, she decided she wanted

00:37:18.969 --> 00:37:21.769
to come to the UK to visit me. So she came over

00:37:21.769 --> 00:37:24.889
and if I didn't already know how I felt, I certainly

00:37:24.889 --> 00:37:28.090
knew when she finally came off the plane and

00:37:28.090 --> 00:37:30.309
was stood in front of me. I always say it's like

00:37:30.309 --> 00:37:33.829
one of those magic movie moments where everyone

00:37:33.829 --> 00:37:36.289
disappears. Bearing in mind, I'm in Manchester.

00:37:36.300 --> 00:37:38.960
airport. Part of the airport was my police force's

00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:41.320
responsibility, so I knew the airport quite well.

00:37:41.559 --> 00:37:44.059
But when she was stood there, everyone else disappeared.

00:37:44.219 --> 00:37:46.780
It was like the room dimmed. We shared a kiss,

00:37:46.780 --> 00:37:49.900
and I couldn't find my car. I was that overwhelmed

00:37:49.900 --> 00:37:53.099
with the energy of who she was. It stood in front

00:37:53.099 --> 00:37:56.940
of me finally, after spending nine or 10 months

00:37:56.940 --> 00:37:59.159
just talking to each other like we are now. Yeah,

00:37:59.179 --> 00:38:00.820
I couldn't find my car. She had to actually find

00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:03.320
my car for me, and she'd never been there. So

00:38:03.320 --> 00:38:06.329
I knew there was something special. and after

00:38:06.329 --> 00:38:10.170
probably six months to a year after that I had

00:38:10.170 --> 00:38:13.710
a series of really very deep meditations where

00:38:13.710 --> 00:38:17.789
I was brought back into my experience. So I was

00:38:17.789 --> 00:38:19.690
brought back to the cloud space, I was brought

00:38:19.690 --> 00:38:23.889
back to the carpenter and you know at the point

00:38:23.889 --> 00:38:27.019
where he asked me whether I would allowing him

00:38:27.019 --> 00:38:30.800
to speak through me. He showed me my omnipresence,

00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:33.199
so there'd been a number of other me's that had

00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:35.559
also come to this point, where they'd, you know,

00:38:35.699 --> 00:38:38.460
for different reasons, they'd died and passed

00:38:38.460 --> 00:38:41.800
on, and they'd been given the same, you know,

00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.500
request. Would you allow me to do that? And they'd,

00:38:45.500 --> 00:38:48.360
for some reason, they'd all chosen to stay. Part

00:38:48.360 --> 00:38:50.619
of it was that I was given a ball of energy,

00:38:50.659 --> 00:38:53.280
and this ball of energy was everything that I...

00:38:53.389 --> 00:38:55.570
was going to be. Everything that I'd been up

00:38:55.570 --> 00:38:57.469
to that point, everything that was going to be,

00:38:57.929 --> 00:39:00.030
all of the decisions that I was going to make,

00:39:00.150 --> 00:39:01.949
all of the interactions that I was going to have,

00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:06.050
all of the hurt that I would cause, I would feel

00:39:06.050 --> 00:39:08.110
that it was almost like a life review without

00:39:08.110 --> 00:39:11.409
having lived that life. And initially I didn't

00:39:11.409 --> 00:39:14.269
want to go back either. It's like, if I'm going

00:39:14.269 --> 00:39:16.250
to have to be this person, I don't want to do

00:39:16.250 --> 00:39:17.730
that. I don't want to hurt people. You know,

00:39:17.750 --> 00:39:19.630
not physically hurt people, but emotionally hurt

00:39:19.630 --> 00:39:23.590
people. with how it was and you know gave that

00:39:23.590 --> 00:39:26.550
back and it's like oh no I'm not sure but I was

00:39:26.550 --> 00:39:29.929
given time to feel it through and I was brought

00:39:29.929 --> 00:39:32.650
into a space where I was sat on a moss covered

00:39:32.650 --> 00:39:36.789
rock next to a lake and the lake water was lapping

00:39:36.789 --> 00:39:40.230
against the shore and I realized that the lake

00:39:40.230 --> 00:39:43.469
water was like love so it was drawing over the

00:39:43.469 --> 00:39:45.510
shore so you know you get covered with this love

00:39:45.510 --> 00:39:47.750
every now and again and sometimes the the water

00:39:47.750 --> 00:39:50.860
has to be drawn back. and is that there's a case

00:39:50.860 --> 00:39:53.719
of not being fearful of that love drawing back

00:39:53.719 --> 00:39:55.699
because all it's doing is it's just taking a

00:39:55.699 --> 00:39:58.900
layer of view that isn't necessary away so it's

00:39:58.900 --> 00:40:00.940
as it does with the shoreline it takes a little

00:40:00.940 --> 00:40:02.679
bit of the shoreline away every time it draws

00:40:02.679 --> 00:40:05.239
back and I realized that the lake was like love

00:40:05.239 --> 00:40:08.260
and that's how love works and I felt like I'd

00:40:08.260 --> 00:40:11.179
made a decision so I was brought back and rather

00:40:11.179 --> 00:40:13.679
than the carpenter being stood there it was a

00:40:13.679 --> 00:40:17.519
female energy this time who was in his place

00:40:17.519 --> 00:40:21.949
and the female energy said hello my love you

00:40:21.949 --> 00:40:24.610
don't know me yet but if you choose to go back

00:40:24.610 --> 00:40:27.030
I want you to do me a favor I want you to come

00:40:27.030 --> 00:40:30.329
find me after that I immediately woke up from

00:40:30.329 --> 00:40:33.230
my meditation and I immediately knew who that

00:40:33.230 --> 00:40:37.389
was and it was it was Krista so we had found

00:40:37.389 --> 00:40:39.869
each other and again like I said earlier on where

00:40:39.869 --> 00:40:43.269
I realized that being given too much information

00:40:43.269 --> 00:40:46.530
at the wrong times would have maybe led me to

00:40:46.530 --> 00:40:50.829
completely miss the turnpike for us meeting.

00:40:51.050 --> 00:40:53.710
It was at that moment where I realized that all

00:40:53.710 --> 00:40:57.309
of that was necessary for us to have that meeting.

00:40:57.710 --> 00:41:00.409
And then after that, we discovered all of the

00:41:00.409 --> 00:41:02.570
other synchronicities that put us in touch with

00:41:02.570 --> 00:41:04.269
each other. Why on earth did she know Kelly?

00:41:04.769 --> 00:41:07.909
Well, when I mentioned about the book by Dr.

00:41:08.070 --> 00:41:11.670
Penny Satori, Kelly at the time was very interested

00:41:11.670 --> 00:41:14.710
in trying to write her own book and had contacted

00:41:14.710 --> 00:41:18.489
Penny Satori in the UK. Krista had already written

00:41:18.489 --> 00:41:20.809
her book and was interested in UK publishers

00:41:20.809 --> 00:41:22.750
because she wanted to publish internationally

00:41:22.750 --> 00:41:26.610
and had written to Penny Sottori. Penny Sottori's

00:41:26.610 --> 00:41:29.250
inbox at the time was about 14 or 15 thousand

00:41:29.250 --> 00:41:31.849
emails and she just didn't have the time to read

00:41:31.849 --> 00:41:35.889
any of them. But she chose to read Krista's and

00:41:35.889 --> 00:41:38.670
she chose to read Kelly's and for some reason

00:41:38.670 --> 00:41:42.210
she decided that they should connect. So Penny

00:41:42.210 --> 00:41:45.909
connected Krista with Kelly. Obviously I was

00:41:45.909 --> 00:41:48.590
connected with Kelly. Kelly invited Krista to

00:41:48.590 --> 00:41:50.550
the Positivity Para movement and then Krista

00:41:50.550 --> 00:41:53.309
watched my video. So there's all of those things

00:41:53.309 --> 00:41:55.389
that put us in touch with each other and again

00:41:55.389 --> 00:41:58.190
you know I didn't realize at the time the importance

00:41:58.190 --> 00:42:01.710
of that until when we met and you know we really

00:42:01.710 --> 00:42:03.590
realized that there was a love there and then

00:42:03.590 --> 00:42:06.880
I had that remembering of the fact that her energy

00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:10.619
was the reason why I chose to come back and it's

00:42:10.619 --> 00:42:12.900
yeah it's mind -blowing it still blows my mind

00:42:12.900 --> 00:42:15.340
to this day she's just as special to me now as

00:42:15.340 --> 00:42:17.679
she ever has been and you know we very often

00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:19.380
sometimes we'll just look at each other and it

00:42:19.380 --> 00:42:22.139
just I don't know it brings us to a space whatever's

00:42:22.139 --> 00:42:24.360
going on you know when we were struggling on

00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:26.840
Maui that's what got us through again we realized

00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:28.360
we were there for a reason we were there for

00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:31.219
the fires so for some reason our energies were

00:42:31.219 --> 00:42:34.809
there to help and we knew When it was time to

00:42:34.809 --> 00:42:37.269
go, it was time to go. The island invited us

00:42:37.269 --> 00:42:39.849
there and she also invited us to leave and luckily

00:42:39.849 --> 00:42:42.889
we were very gracious to listen and I think that's

00:42:42.889 --> 00:42:46.210
a testament to the help that we've been for each

00:42:46.210 --> 00:42:48.329
other. We're very reflective of each other. I

00:42:48.329 --> 00:42:51.489
see myself in her and she sees herself in me.

00:42:51.730 --> 00:42:54.010
I don't want to go too much into her personal

00:42:54.010 --> 00:42:56.010
life but she's always felt as though she was

00:42:56.010 --> 00:42:58.489
very difficult to be around and because she's

00:42:58.489 --> 00:43:01.429
always been so sensitive. with energies and you

00:43:01.429 --> 00:43:03.510
know she's very empathic and I don't find it

00:43:03.510 --> 00:43:05.070
difficult to be around at all and I never have

00:43:05.070 --> 00:43:07.730
been and it's like I don't understand why you've

00:43:07.730 --> 00:43:09.590
ever thought that and if anyone else has ever

00:43:09.590 --> 00:43:11.489
thought that then they need the head testing

00:43:11.489 --> 00:43:13.710
because she's so easy to be around. Maybe that's

00:43:13.710 --> 00:43:16.010
because I love her but you know it's like this

00:43:16.010 --> 00:43:18.929
it's a constant choice for us to evolve with

00:43:18.929 --> 00:43:21.769
each other. and you know we keep having to choose

00:43:21.769 --> 00:43:23.829
that and there's times where I change and she

00:43:23.829 --> 00:43:26.769
has to choose whether she changes as well and

00:43:26.769 --> 00:43:28.889
then she changes and I choose whether I change

00:43:28.889 --> 00:43:31.050
as well and luckily so far we've we've changed

00:43:31.050 --> 00:43:33.730
together and hopefully that will continue that

00:43:33.730 --> 00:43:36.909
wow we don't get love stories on this show very

00:43:36.909 --> 00:43:40.289
often thank you for sharing all of that we need

00:43:40.289 --> 00:43:43.840
to wrap up before we do I want to go back to

00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:47.219
ask just one question, and that is you mentioned

00:43:47.219 --> 00:43:51.460
meeting your grandfather, someone who died before

00:43:51.460 --> 00:43:55.199
you were born. How did you know who he was? I'd

00:43:55.199 --> 00:43:57.139
seen pictures of him growing up. You know, my

00:43:57.139 --> 00:44:00.420
mom still had pictures. So when he was there,

00:44:00.440 --> 00:44:03.750
and obviously, you know, certainly with The interesting

00:44:03.750 --> 00:44:05.710
thing is that I was a 13 -year -old and I was

00:44:05.710 --> 00:44:08.429
also a 34 -year -old at the same time. So being

00:44:08.429 --> 00:44:10.329
in that ambulance situation, it was immediately

00:44:10.329 --> 00:44:13.250
apparent to me that it was him from the photographs

00:44:13.250 --> 00:44:15.929
that I remember and the energy of him as well.

00:44:16.090 --> 00:44:19.110
I then recognized that there's been a number

00:44:19.110 --> 00:44:22.469
of times where he has been there and I had a

00:44:22.469 --> 00:44:25.909
spiritual medium tell me a year or so before

00:44:25.909 --> 00:44:29.690
I had the therapy that he was one of my guides

00:44:29.690 --> 00:44:33.389
and he was very strongly with me. So yeah, it

00:44:33.389 --> 00:44:37.070
was an easy energy -recognizing energy. On a

00:44:37.070 --> 00:44:39.130
scale of 1 to 10, how much fear of death do you

00:44:39.130 --> 00:44:43.210
have? Very little. I deal with death a lot. With

00:44:43.210 --> 00:44:46.829
the force I worked for in the UK, we covered

00:44:46.829 --> 00:44:49.230
the railway network. And unfortunately, when

00:44:49.230 --> 00:44:52.090
people are in a place where they struggle, the

00:44:52.090 --> 00:44:54.630
easiest way to end your life is being hit by

00:44:54.630 --> 00:44:56.489
a train. So I dealt with that a lot. You know,

00:44:56.530 --> 00:44:59.230
in Maui, we dealt with suicides and overdoses.

00:44:59.960 --> 00:45:04.280
all sorts of things. I've had my own profound

00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:07.940
experience with cancer back in 2018, just after

00:45:07.940 --> 00:45:11.320
Krista and I got married. I was diagnosed with

00:45:11.320 --> 00:45:13.980
testicular cancer, which is obviously very treatable,

00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:17.840
very healable. But once I'd had the initial consult

00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:20.679
and had the initial operation to take out the

00:45:20.679 --> 00:45:22.880
cancer, it was the left testicle that was affected,

00:45:22.920 --> 00:45:26.420
so that was taken out. I went back in for my

00:45:26.420 --> 00:45:29.059
second consultation, which should have been Yeah,

00:45:29.099 --> 00:45:30.739
we've taken the cancer out. There's nothing else

00:45:30.739 --> 00:45:33.719
in your body, but we need to do step A, B, and

00:45:33.719 --> 00:45:35.699
C, whatever that might be, because there's two

00:45:35.699 --> 00:45:38.039
different types of cancer it can be. It can be

00:45:38.039 --> 00:45:41.179
a seminoma or a non -seminoma. Very briefly,

00:45:41.300 --> 00:45:43.599
a seminoma is the most mild form, which is very

00:45:43.599 --> 00:45:46.059
treatable just with one course of chemotherapy.

00:45:46.739 --> 00:45:48.079
The other one is a little bit more difficult

00:45:48.079 --> 00:45:50.619
because it can be a mixture of cancers, and it

00:45:50.619 --> 00:45:52.940
has to be treated with a little bit more aggressive

00:45:52.940 --> 00:45:56.579
cycles of treatment. But both are very treatable.

00:45:57.659 --> 00:46:00.599
I, going in there expecting to hear that, wasn't

00:46:00.599 --> 00:46:03.579
expecting for there to be a different specialist

00:46:03.579 --> 00:46:05.880
in there turning around to me and saying that

00:46:05.880 --> 00:46:10.179
we firmly believe that you've got lymphoma. And

00:46:10.179 --> 00:46:12.820
we're very rarely wrong. Sorry for the bad news,

00:46:12.860 --> 00:46:15.340
but don't ask me any questions because it's not

00:46:15.340 --> 00:46:16.980
my specialty. You're going to have to wait for

00:46:16.980 --> 00:46:19.760
your hematology appointment. See you later. So

00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:22.559
I'm left with that very, you know, I wasn't even

00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:24.280
sure whether I should be devastated at the time

00:46:24.280 --> 00:46:27.239
because it didn't mean anything to me. Well,

00:46:27.639 --> 00:46:30.820
again, me being me, I went on to Mr. Google and

00:46:30.820 --> 00:46:33.000
found out that for someone of my age at the time

00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:36.360
in my late 30s, having a lymphoma with a primary

00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:38.440
presentation in the testicle meant that I had

00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:41.820
an end -stage autoimmune disease like HIV and

00:46:41.820 --> 00:46:44.840
that it was a death sentence. So there was nothing,

00:46:44.980 --> 00:46:47.099
there was no media, there was no research that

00:46:47.099 --> 00:46:49.039
had been done which told me anything different

00:46:49.039 --> 00:46:52.739
because there wasn't anything there. So as far

00:46:52.739 --> 00:46:55.349
as I was concerned, I'd gone from being told

00:46:55.349 --> 00:46:57.730
I had cancer, which should have been very treatable,

00:46:57.769 --> 00:47:00.070
to being told that I might not be here. I had

00:47:00.070 --> 00:47:03.269
to face that. And, you know, there was a little

00:47:03.269 --> 00:47:07.030
bit of time where I was initially scared, but

00:47:07.030 --> 00:47:09.969
it wasn't scared of the death so much. It was

00:47:09.969 --> 00:47:13.369
the fear of how I'd impacted others because if

00:47:13.369 --> 00:47:15.630
I'd have had an end stage and had it been something

00:47:15.630 --> 00:47:18.190
like HIV, first of all, where had I contracted

00:47:18.190 --> 00:47:21.500
it from? And... that would have affected my ex

00:47:21.500 --> 00:47:23.579
-wife. I certainly would have passed it on to

00:47:23.579 --> 00:47:26.300
my daughter. And then how would that have affected

00:47:26.300 --> 00:47:27.980
Krista, who's only just got married? And all

00:47:27.980 --> 00:47:30.639
of these things were going through my head. And

00:47:30.639 --> 00:47:35.239
it boiled down to me having a moment where I,

00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:37.119
you know, sent Krista a message. She was working

00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:39.239
in the ER. You know, I said, I think I've done

00:47:39.239 --> 00:47:40.719
something a little bit stupid. I've gone onto

00:47:40.719 --> 00:47:42.400
Google and I found out all of these horrible

00:47:42.400 --> 00:47:44.739
things. And she phoned me back as soon as she

00:47:44.739 --> 00:47:47.800
could. And she was like, listen, first of all,

00:47:47.800 --> 00:47:50.469
I don't believe that the diagnosis, even though

00:47:50.469 --> 00:47:52.369
it's like a strong diagnosis, I don't believe

00:47:52.369 --> 00:47:55.989
that. Secondly, I love you. Completely floored

00:47:55.989 --> 00:48:03.969
me. Because why would she, if I'd have had these

00:48:03.969 --> 00:48:05.530
things and that would have affected her, why

00:48:05.530 --> 00:48:10.369
would she still? But she did. And she said, look,

00:48:10.670 --> 00:48:13.909
it really doesn't matter. If I have to quit my

00:48:13.909 --> 00:48:17.230
job and come live with you in the UK, I will.

00:48:17.900 --> 00:48:21.340
For whatever time we have if I can bring you

00:48:21.340 --> 00:48:23.139
over here and you could be treated here then

00:48:23.139 --> 00:48:25.739
same thing We'll just do it. So it's that point

00:48:25.739 --> 00:48:28.360
where it's like, okay, so I have a very definite

00:48:28.360 --> 00:48:33.280
choice either choose fear and allow that to rule

00:48:33.280 --> 00:48:37.659
whatever life I might have left or I just have

00:48:37.659 --> 00:48:42.380
to trust and choose love so I chose love about

00:48:42.380 --> 00:48:47.070
two or three days later I had a phone call from

00:48:47.070 --> 00:48:49.730
a nurse practitioner in the haematology department.

00:48:49.869 --> 00:48:52.530
I'd spoken to her previously and she understood

00:48:52.530 --> 00:48:54.369
my situation, you know, with the long distance

00:48:54.369 --> 00:48:56.969
relationship and, you know, the fact that I had

00:48:56.969 --> 00:49:00.550
planned on convalescing in Florida for a period

00:49:00.550 --> 00:49:03.710
of weeks and that I needed to be there because

00:49:03.710 --> 00:49:06.280
Krista's daughter, Maggie... had just turned

00:49:06.280 --> 00:49:08.320
18 and I had a very special present to give her.

00:49:08.440 --> 00:49:10.239
So she said, well, look, you know, let's have

00:49:10.239 --> 00:49:12.840
this meeting that's going to discuss your case.

00:49:13.019 --> 00:49:14.960
I will advocate for you and I'll see what I can

00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:17.059
do, but don't hold your breath because if you

00:49:17.059 --> 00:49:18.780
are very ill, then we're going to need to start

00:49:18.780 --> 00:49:22.019
very aggressive treatment immediately. So I have

00:49:22.019 --> 00:49:24.179
this phone call. The nurse practitioner spoke

00:49:24.179 --> 00:49:26.599
to me and I immediately realized that she sounded

00:49:26.599 --> 00:49:28.739
quite chirpy, but I wasn't quite sure why because

00:49:28.739 --> 00:49:30.739
I was expecting bad news. And she was like, oh,

00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:34.719
Mr. Dreggold. Yeah, so we've had this meeting

00:49:34.719 --> 00:49:37.239
and I know that we said that we're very rarely

00:49:37.239 --> 00:49:40.119
wrong, but on this occasion we have been. The

00:49:40.119 --> 00:49:43.360
hematology department have looked at your slides,

00:49:43.480 --> 00:49:47.179
they've looked at the CT scan that you had and

00:49:47.179 --> 00:49:49.579
the initial fear was that you had some lymph

00:49:49.579 --> 00:49:52.139
nodes that were slightly swollen. Well, they're

00:49:52.139 --> 00:49:54.860
not anywhere near as swollen as they would be

00:49:54.860 --> 00:49:57.820
for us to be afraid. They need to be a centimeter

00:49:57.820 --> 00:49:59.500
or bigger and they weren't anywhere near that.

00:50:00.090 --> 00:50:03.210
and the slides it appears that there was a fault

00:50:03.210 --> 00:50:05.289
with one of the slides and we've cleaned all

00:50:05.289 --> 00:50:09.690
that up and actually yes you still have had cancer

00:50:09.690 --> 00:50:11.630
but you've had the most mild form which is a

00:50:11.630 --> 00:50:14.550
teminoma. So I went from you might not be here

00:50:14.550 --> 00:50:17.730
in a few months to you've got the rest of your

00:50:17.730 --> 00:50:20.989
life. That must have been a long few days. Yes.

00:50:21.280 --> 00:50:23.679
you know, in the end, it was worth it. I was

00:50:23.679 --> 00:50:26.820
actually out with my mum and we were out at a

00:50:26.820 --> 00:50:29.599
health food store in a local town. She's great.

00:50:29.659 --> 00:50:32.079
When she's on a mission to help heal people,

00:50:32.260 --> 00:50:34.480
she is on a mission. So she'd done a load of

00:50:34.480 --> 00:50:36.719
research. She was looking at the diet that would

00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:39.280
help me through aggressive chemotherapy. And

00:50:39.280 --> 00:50:42.079
we'd gone to this place, especially to look for

00:50:42.079 --> 00:50:44.360
certain foods that would help me to, you know,

00:50:44.480 --> 00:50:46.559
keep my strength up. And I got this phone call

00:50:46.559 --> 00:50:48.139
and I said, Mom, I'm just gonna have to go outside.

00:50:48.199 --> 00:50:50.300
And I went outside and had this phone call. And

00:50:50.300 --> 00:50:52.139
in the middle of time, this, you know, big burly

00:50:52.139 --> 00:50:54.400
guy burst into tears and, you know, tears of

00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:57.079
happiness and gathered myself together and phoned

00:50:57.079 --> 00:50:59.179
Krista. And, you know, with the time difference,

00:50:59.199 --> 00:51:01.000
it was quite early in the morning here. So, you

00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:03.019
know, I phoned her and she answered straight

00:51:03.019 --> 00:51:04.599
away. And I said, I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna

00:51:04.599 --> 00:51:09.099
be okay. I'm gonna be okay. Rather than missing

00:51:09.099 --> 00:51:11.619
Maggie's birthday, I was able to be here. So,

00:51:11.639 --> 00:51:14.599
yeah, it was a whirlwind. But that's that thing

00:51:14.599 --> 00:51:17.000
with death. It's like I wasn't really afraid

00:51:17.000 --> 00:51:20.079
of the death. It was the consequences of how

00:51:20.079 --> 00:51:22.539
that death might happen. I realized then that

00:51:22.539 --> 00:51:24.940
the best thing to do in any circumstance is to

00:51:24.940 --> 00:51:26.519
choose the most loving thing. What's the most

00:51:26.519 --> 00:51:28.500
loving thing to do? What's the most loving thing

00:51:28.500 --> 00:51:31.219
to do for myself? And it certainly isn't to be

00:51:31.219 --> 00:51:34.639
afraid. Hey, Ainsley, thank you for sharing all

00:51:34.639 --> 00:51:39.670
this with us today. My pleasure. Thanks again

00:51:39.670 --> 00:51:42.210
for listening and sharing this podcast. Don't

00:51:42.210 --> 00:51:44.469
forget to hit the follow or subscribe button

00:51:44.469 --> 00:51:46.889
and sign up for our newsletter at roundtripdeath

00:51:46.889 --> 00:51:50.389
.com. If you want to share your near -death experience

00:51:50.389 --> 00:51:52.690
or if you have questions or comments about the

00:51:52.690 --> 00:51:55.570
show, send an email to eric at roundtripdeath

00:51:55.570 --> 00:51:58.750
.com. Until then, I wish you everything good

00:51:58.750 --> 00:52:01.050
that you're looking for in this life and the

00:52:01.050 --> 00:52:01.429
next.