Chelsea's NDE From Great Dane Attack

WEBVTT

00:00:03.719 --> 00:00:06.719
From the time that they pronounced me dead was

00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:10.220
a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then

00:00:10.220 --> 00:00:13.560
they paddled my heart, my heart stopped and I

00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:17.079
could see people screaming and crying but I didn't

00:00:17.079 --> 00:00:19.480
realize that was actually my physical body because

00:00:19.480 --> 00:00:22.800
I was somewhere else. The only thing that I could

00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:26.800
feel if you could imagine absolute love and peace,

00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:29.829
there wasn't anything else to be felt. I was

00:00:29.829 --> 00:00:32.829
greeted by people I had known in the past. I'm

00:00:32.829 --> 00:00:36.210
back home again. Incredibly safe and felt at

00:00:36.210 --> 00:00:41.009
home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip Death everybody.

00:00:41.530 --> 00:00:44.590
And we have a very special guest in her car today.

00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:47.390
Thank you for pulling over so you're safe. This

00:00:47.390 --> 00:00:50.390
is Chelsea Elizabeth. How are you? I'm doing

00:00:50.390 --> 00:00:53.570
well, yes, avoiding the spring breakers who have

00:00:53.570 --> 00:00:56.789
launched to our beautiful Florida for the 60

00:00:56.789 --> 00:00:59.570
degree windy weather today. If you're in Florida

00:00:59.570 --> 00:01:03.030
listening, sorry guys, it's not a beach day.

00:01:03.630 --> 00:01:06.370
Well, that doesn't sound all that bad to me right

00:01:06.370 --> 00:01:08.250
now being up in the mountains. It's a little

00:01:08.250 --> 00:01:11.209
bit colder than that, but enough for the weather

00:01:11.209 --> 00:01:14.549
before we jump into your near -death experience.

00:01:15.209 --> 00:01:17.810
And I'm going to give it a little tease here.

00:01:18.269 --> 00:01:22.010
It has something to do with a great big dog.

00:01:22.569 --> 00:01:25.870
It does. Great big dog. Before we jump in there,

00:01:26.109 --> 00:01:29.950
tell us who is Chelsea? I am a farm girl from

00:01:29.950 --> 00:01:32.790
Tennessee, originally. Know the dialect, did

00:01:32.790 --> 00:01:35.230
not leave, but you'll hear it come out quite

00:01:35.230 --> 00:01:39.489
often. Grew up, left home, college and... never

00:01:39.489 --> 00:01:42.609
really looked back, have been in biotech pharmaceutical

00:01:42.609 --> 00:01:46.170
cells, most of, well, all of my career for the

00:01:46.170 --> 00:01:49.689
most part, done some consulting here and there

00:01:49.689 --> 00:01:53.810
and most recently finished a manuscript which

00:01:53.810 --> 00:01:58.170
is in editing and I hope to be published in the

00:01:58.170 --> 00:02:00.950
near future. A lot of people that come on have

00:02:00.950 --> 00:02:04.390
a book out and I don't mind plugging it just

00:02:04.390 --> 00:02:07.489
a little bit, but the plug for you is It's in

00:02:07.489 --> 00:02:09.870
development and it's going to be awesome when

00:02:09.870 --> 00:02:11.770
it comes out and we don't even know the title

00:02:11.770 --> 00:02:14.530
yet, do we? I don't even know the title. The

00:02:14.530 --> 00:02:16.969
title has changed so many times. It's going to

00:02:16.969 --> 00:02:19.849
be the last piece of the puzzle. I think once

00:02:19.849 --> 00:02:23.729
I actually sit down and read my own book again,

00:02:24.349 --> 00:02:28.189
decide what the best message is. It started out

00:02:28.189 --> 00:02:31.689
very different than what it ended when I handed

00:02:31.689 --> 00:02:35.539
it over to the editor. So it's been... an evolution

00:02:35.539 --> 00:02:38.740
of sorts that has been very rewarding for me,

00:02:38.819 --> 00:02:42.139
very healing in this journey, we'll call it.

00:02:42.340 --> 00:02:46.060
Yeah, very therapeutic, I imagine. Yes. Okay,

00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:51.039
so everybody in a few months be looking for Chelsea

00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:54.879
Elizabeth, the author. Yes. Okay. Yes. I want

00:02:54.879 --> 00:02:58.000
to get into it. You are a dog lover. Give us

00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:00.060
a little bit of background. What kind of dogs

00:03:00.060 --> 00:03:03.699
did you grow up with? So growing up, I was raised

00:03:03.699 --> 00:03:06.379
with golden retrievers. And in the backyard,

00:03:06.580 --> 00:03:10.500
we had beef cattle. And then along the way, I

00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:13.919
would pick up any stray dog, cat, squirrel, you

00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:17.419
name it. It came to the farm with me. And animals

00:03:17.419 --> 00:03:21.599
were always my happy place. Just when life kind

00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:23.860
of got you down, it's just go snuggle with your

00:03:23.860 --> 00:03:27.539
pup. Being single, you want to come home and

00:03:27.539 --> 00:03:30.060
you've got this tail wagging, somebody excited

00:03:30.060 --> 00:03:34.960
to see you. and rescuing, just giving any animal,

00:03:35.460 --> 00:03:39.020
even humans, even the chance to thrive. Once

00:03:39.020 --> 00:03:44.379
I got my first home, began rescuing, wanted big

00:03:44.379 --> 00:03:48.539
dogs. I'm a little person and so started with

00:03:48.539 --> 00:03:51.800
Great Danes and fell in love with Abigail the

00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:55.939
first one and ever since have been adopting Great

00:03:55.939 --> 00:03:59.719
Danes. I currently have Amelia who is my seven

00:03:59.719 --> 00:04:04.349
-year -old. and she's a rescue. It was late July,

00:04:04.409 --> 00:04:07.689
early August. I adopted another Great Dane, a

00:04:07.689 --> 00:04:11.949
male. Had him for a couple of weeks and he snapped

00:04:11.949 --> 00:04:16.649
at me, you know, got my arm. I ignored the warning

00:04:16.649 --> 00:04:21.269
signs and kept him. And it was a week after that.

00:04:21.389 --> 00:04:23.810
It was a Sunday night, beautiful Sunday. August,

00:04:23.870 --> 00:04:26.930
hot, humid evening was approaching, probably

00:04:26.930 --> 00:04:32.870
five. He snapped. and came at me face on, took

00:04:32.870 --> 00:04:37.389
this side of my face forehead over off. I was

00:04:37.389 --> 00:04:41.329
able to roll over and he went to town on the

00:04:41.329 --> 00:04:44.170
back of my head. I don't know how I got out of

00:04:44.170 --> 00:04:49.250
the house. I remember knowing that I had to protect

00:04:49.250 --> 00:04:53.269
my neck and so I had one hand over the carotid

00:04:53.269 --> 00:04:57.410
artery and I remember looking up and seeing Amelia

00:04:57.410 --> 00:05:02.560
in the corner just I remember asking her for

00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:07.319
help. And in that moment, looking back, it crushes

00:05:07.319 --> 00:05:09.339
me that I asked her for help because she was

00:05:09.339 --> 00:05:14.019
helping me by not joining in, by not joining

00:05:14.019 --> 00:05:17.800
her pack. She had declared me as a pack and knew

00:05:17.800 --> 00:05:21.459
that she could not save me. I somehow made it

00:05:21.459 --> 00:05:24.439
out of the house, looking back at the photos.

00:05:25.689 --> 00:05:27.790
was a struggle to get out of the house based

00:05:27.790 --> 00:05:32.389
on the glass sliders. And my neighbors found

00:05:32.389 --> 00:05:37.189
me. I remember the attack. I remember laying

00:05:37.189 --> 00:05:41.029
on my patio. I remember sitting in their living

00:05:41.029 --> 00:05:45.550
room. And sitting in their living room, I remember

00:05:45.550 --> 00:05:49.589
focusing on a light. In focusing on that light,

00:05:50.350 --> 00:05:54.129
everything was just bright, kind of an aura.

00:05:54.519 --> 00:05:58.300
and noise became white noise and pain didn't

00:05:58.300 --> 00:06:03.740
exist. Fear wasn't present. There were what felt

00:06:03.740 --> 00:06:07.220
like a very long amount of time that I felt like

00:06:07.220 --> 00:06:10.939
I was just kind of floating and everything okay.

00:06:11.699 --> 00:06:16.379
It was just magical. It was excruciating pain

00:06:16.379 --> 00:06:21.879
to just peace and light and noise that was calming.

00:06:22.759 --> 00:06:27.000
I woke up in the ambulance. Now I know there

00:06:27.000 --> 00:06:30.240
were only three people in the ambulance, but

00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:33.920
to my right there was someone holding my hand.

00:06:34.600 --> 00:06:38.680
And I will never, ever forget it because to my

00:06:38.680 --> 00:06:41.899
left they were placing IV or whatever they were

00:06:41.899 --> 00:06:45.160
doing and I remember looking at that EMS and

00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:49.379
I asked her, I said, I'm dying, right? And I

00:06:49.379 --> 00:06:53.879
remember to my right going a squeeze and hearing

00:06:53.879 --> 00:06:59.639
it's okay, Chelsea. And I knew it was okay. The

00:06:59.639 --> 00:07:03.259
ride very uncomfortable, but I had a hand to

00:07:03.259 --> 00:07:05.639
hold. I didn't have an out -of -body experience.

00:07:05.740 --> 00:07:08.480
I don't know what heaven looks like. I can't

00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:11.240
bring any messages back, but I know that heaven

00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:16.579
exists because in several moments of that trauma.

00:07:16.990 --> 00:07:20.970
there was peace and there was somebody that I

00:07:20.970 --> 00:07:24.750
could see holding my right hand in that ambulance.

00:07:25.670 --> 00:07:29.149
Any idea who that was? No. No, I actually went

00:07:29.149 --> 00:07:32.730
back to the EMS station and talked to them and

00:07:32.730 --> 00:07:35.310
asked them, are you sure? Because, you know,

00:07:35.310 --> 00:07:38.170
they brought two ambulance. I'm like, are you

00:07:38.170 --> 00:07:40.389
sure somebody from the other ambulance didn't

00:07:40.389 --> 00:07:44.589
ride? No. No, you only had one person back there.

00:07:44.769 --> 00:07:47.550
You know, that's protocol. So, you know, I was

00:07:47.550 --> 00:07:51.509
able to share my story with them. But a lot of

00:07:51.509 --> 00:07:54.290
things that happened, I had to fact check, because

00:07:54.290 --> 00:07:57.189
I forced myself to go back and look at the photos

00:07:57.189 --> 00:08:00.910
that the police in Animal Control made. I forced

00:08:00.910 --> 00:08:06.250
myself to go through and watch every video. And

00:08:06.250 --> 00:08:10.430
everything in my memory is incorrect. Incorrect.

00:08:10.610 --> 00:08:13.629
I would have told you it was dark at night. That

00:08:13.629 --> 00:08:16.870
was the only light I could see. It wasn't until

00:08:16.870 --> 00:08:19.610
I watched the video that I realized it was broad

00:08:19.610 --> 00:08:23.649
daylight. I was at the hospital before it was

00:08:23.649 --> 00:08:27.569
dark, but in my mind, it was dark and all I had

00:08:27.569 --> 00:08:30.689
was that one light. When you say video, was this

00:08:30.689 --> 00:08:33.649
like a doorbell camera or what was it? Yes, it

00:08:33.649 --> 00:08:37.049
was doorbell cameras and cameras that are in

00:08:37.049 --> 00:08:39.429
the front and the back of the house. So every

00:08:39.429 --> 00:08:43.309
external exterior camera, it caught it. And so

00:08:43.309 --> 00:08:49.320
I saw... And I don't know how I survived. I think

00:08:49.320 --> 00:08:52.620
I know why it's becoming a little more clear,

00:08:53.100 --> 00:08:56.840
but I should not have survived. I did lose, you

00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:59.820
know, I lost my head. So a little wig if it falls

00:08:59.820 --> 00:09:04.440
off, my apologies, but my entire scalp, ears,

00:09:04.740 --> 00:09:10.639
forehead, neck, shoulder, back, off, gone, nothing.

00:09:12.110 --> 00:09:16.649
The plastic surgeons sewed up what would have

00:09:16.649 --> 00:09:23.690
been five feet two inches. So five feet two inches

00:09:23.690 --> 00:09:28.110
just on shoulder up is what they sewed together

00:09:28.110 --> 00:09:32.250
as he wrote as a puzzle piece fitting and pulling

00:09:32.250 --> 00:09:35.870
skin just to close the head back up. And then

00:09:35.870 --> 00:09:40.230
I was sent to ICU. where they assumed I would

00:09:40.230 --> 00:09:43.649
catch infection. I had a clot in the right vertebral

00:09:43.649 --> 00:09:46.850
artery, which was very dangerous. I was on Heparin

00:09:46.850 --> 00:09:51.529
and around the clock watch. The records were

00:09:51.529 --> 00:09:55.730
very hard to read because in the moment you don't

00:09:55.730 --> 00:09:59.509
know how bad it is. And it wasn't for a long

00:09:59.509 --> 00:10:02.850
time that I realized how bad it was. Let's take

00:10:02.850 --> 00:10:06.759
a breath for a second. and explain a couple of

00:10:06.759 --> 00:10:10.720
things to the listeners. One is on this podcast,

00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:13.100
usually what we're doing is talking to people

00:10:13.100 --> 00:10:16.899
that have had a clinical kind of death, left

00:10:16.899 --> 00:10:20.480
their body, come back. We don't usually talk

00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:24.759
about... Near death in the term of oh, I almost

00:10:24.759 --> 00:10:28.700
got hit by a truck today, but I'm fine But yours

00:10:28.700 --> 00:10:32.600
was such a horrific thing that happened and you

00:10:32.600 --> 00:10:34.600
said you didn't have an out -of -body experience

00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:38.679
But it is awfully close or similar or something

00:10:38.679 --> 00:10:41.399
spiritual was going on when you talk about the

00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:46.149
light and this Being that was holding your hand

00:10:46.149 --> 00:10:48.190
and we're gonna come back to a little bit more

00:10:48.190 --> 00:10:50.710
of those details the other thing I wanted to

00:10:50.710 --> 00:10:54.509
interject here was I've known some great Danes

00:10:54.509 --> 00:10:59.029
and they seem to be the most friendly big Lick

00:10:59.029 --> 00:11:03.389
your face to death wonderful dogs out there Has

00:11:03.389 --> 00:11:06.610
that also been your experience and what do you

00:11:06.610 --> 00:11:09.049
think happened with this particular one that

00:11:09.049 --> 00:11:13.320
day? That has always been my experience. Every

00:11:13.320 --> 00:11:16.480
single grade day, and I've had, count them eight.

00:11:16.899 --> 00:11:19.320
Just things that are pocket -paddle size, crawl

00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:22.980
up in your lap, lean on you, love you, lick you.

00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:26.600
Just follow you everywhere. I've never had to

00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:30.019
leash one of mine. They just, they want to touch

00:11:30.019 --> 00:11:32.960
you all the time. So they follow you everywhere

00:11:32.960 --> 00:11:37.139
you go. I have a son, he's 12 now, when he was

00:11:37.139 --> 00:11:40.570
an infant. I had two great tanks. He would roll

00:11:40.570 --> 00:11:44.029
all over them, play in the floor. He'd run himself

00:11:44.029 --> 00:11:46.990
until he fell over to take a nap. And they would

00:11:46.990 --> 00:11:50.490
be on either side guarding him. Abigail would

00:11:50.490 --> 00:11:53.309
sleep in front of his door. Yeah, they're just

00:11:53.309 --> 00:11:57.169
not aggressive animals at all. And I have to

00:11:57.169 --> 00:12:01.029
believe that with this particular one, he was

00:12:01.029 --> 00:12:06.179
abandoned and forced to survive. which Great

00:12:06.179 --> 00:12:11.100
Danes, the ones I've had, they're not the survivor

00:12:11.100 --> 00:12:14.860
type. They're very dependent. And so I think

00:12:14.860 --> 00:12:17.840
that he had to fight for his life in the wild.

00:12:18.600 --> 00:12:21.919
And for whatever reason, he was triggered by

00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:26.000
the dogs in the backfield that day and felt like

00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:31.539
he had to do what was necessary to guard his

00:12:31.539 --> 00:12:35.960
space and attacking me. He had not been with

00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:41.759
me that long, a month. He had just a bad beginning.

00:12:42.179 --> 00:12:44.539
And like Amelia, she had a bad beginning. It

00:12:44.539 --> 00:12:47.120
took me a year to socialize her. She was scared

00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:50.120
of everything. A loud noise. She would run through

00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:53.580
the house, pooping, hiding in the closet. And

00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:56.860
so that they all come from a different background,

00:12:56.980 --> 00:13:00.759
just like humans. And what we have to do to survive,

00:13:01.240 --> 00:13:05.230
they have to do too. It wasn't that he wanted

00:13:05.230 --> 00:13:10.870
to attack me. It was that that was what he knew.

00:13:11.370 --> 00:13:14.169
That was all he knew. I'm glad you cleared that

00:13:14.169 --> 00:13:16.409
up because I don't want people to think that

00:13:16.409 --> 00:13:20.110
Great Danes are bad, mean, aggressive dogs because

00:13:20.110 --> 00:13:23.129
in general they're not. Something with that one

00:13:23.129 --> 00:13:26.559
had some kind of a history. and it snapped. Oh

00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:30.440
yeah, now adopt another one. I will have to have

00:13:30.440 --> 00:13:34.639
another one. So that's not going to hold me back.

00:13:34.820 --> 00:13:38.480
I have no fear of dogs. My son loves to go to

00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:41.360
animal control and visit all the pups and play

00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:44.620
with them. My friend of mine got a brand new

00:13:44.620 --> 00:13:49.980
rescue. Let that dog right in my face. So there's

00:13:49.980 --> 00:13:54.519
no fear of the animal. It's understanding that

00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:58.639
that poor guy had a traumatic start. All right.

00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:01.559
Let's talk about what you described as floating

00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:05.740
floating. Yeah, it was uh Interesting and it

00:14:05.740 --> 00:14:08.940
was I can't tell you how I made it out of the

00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:11.600
door and I'm not Positive that I opened the door

00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:14.240
because those sliders are quite difficult to

00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:17.059
open But I do remember being outside on the patio.

00:14:17.379 --> 00:14:22.220
So my brain skips between being inside and hearing

00:14:22.220 --> 00:14:27.639
teeth against my skull to laying outside. I didn't

00:14:27.639 --> 00:14:32.440
know what to do. I sat. And when I sat is when

00:14:32.440 --> 00:14:38.019
I just felt light, like I was just floating.

00:14:38.259 --> 00:14:42.480
And that's when there was the light. I remember

00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:46.500
standing up. And again, I don't feel my feet

00:14:46.500 --> 00:14:49.100
on the pavement, but I remember standing up.

00:14:49.399 --> 00:14:53.539
It's just a light. feeling almost as if you're

00:14:53.539 --> 00:14:56.419
suspended in water. Somebody's turned the lights

00:14:56.419 --> 00:14:58.940
out and all you can see is the pole light right

00:14:58.940 --> 00:15:01.759
there in front of you. That's the closest thing

00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:05.679
I can compare it to. And the noise is just white

00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:09.980
noise. It's just noise, not scary, not harps

00:15:09.980 --> 00:15:14.080
playing, but just noise, just static. And there's

00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:17.759
nothing scary to look at. And that's what I remember.

00:15:17.919 --> 00:15:21.750
And I remember seeing the same thing when I was

00:15:21.750 --> 00:15:24.830
sitting in my neighbor's house in their living

00:15:24.830 --> 00:15:30.129
room, just focusing on that light and that noise.

00:15:30.509 --> 00:15:32.950
I remember not really being able to hold my head

00:15:32.950 --> 00:15:36.950
up and just feeling like I was melting. You also

00:15:36.950 --> 00:15:39.610
used the word peace. When did you feel that?

00:15:39.830 --> 00:15:42.629
When I made it outside, when I remember waking

00:15:42.629 --> 00:15:47.909
up outside, it was peace. I have no memory or

00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:52.639
sensation of pain from the point that I was sitting

00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.360
outside until I woke up in the ambulance. No

00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:00.200
pain, no fear. So the emotions of peace and fear

00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:04.279
are very opposite, right? Most people would be

00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:07.700
so struck with fear at that point. That would

00:16:07.700 --> 00:16:10.360
be a normal human reaction, I would believe,

00:16:10.440 --> 00:16:13.879
wouldn't it? Yes, and I remember the point of

00:16:13.879 --> 00:16:20.190
fear and that level of Knowing you're dying is

00:16:20.190 --> 00:16:24.029
nothing that can be placed into the English language,

00:16:24.250 --> 00:16:28.929
any language in words. There's nothing more terrifying

00:16:28.929 --> 00:16:32.350
than knowing you're dying and feeling yourself

00:16:32.350 --> 00:16:36.710
dying and knowing that you didn't get to say

00:16:36.710 --> 00:16:40.669
goodbye and that this is it. This is it. And

00:16:40.669 --> 00:16:43.850
this was only about a year and a half ago. So

00:16:43.850 --> 00:16:46.940
I think you're still processing some of it. whether

00:16:46.940 --> 00:16:51.000
you left your body or not, something spiritual

00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:54.720
happened. And I wish you could think of more

00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:58.019
about what kind of whoever was holding your hand

00:16:58.019 --> 00:17:00.600
in the ambulance, because I'd love to drill down

00:17:00.600 --> 00:17:02.860
on that, but you don't have any other memory,

00:17:02.940 --> 00:17:07.660
do you? You know, I've tried. I even tried hypnosis

00:17:07.660 --> 00:17:11.170
so that I could see her face. I recognize the

00:17:11.170 --> 00:17:14.329
voice. That's what's interesting is I know the

00:17:14.329 --> 00:17:16.569
voice. And I've told my therapist, I know the

00:17:16.569 --> 00:17:19.569
voice. I've got to know who it is. And I said,

00:17:19.589 --> 00:17:22.170
if I heard it again, I would recognize the voice.

00:17:22.930 --> 00:17:26.069
But you know it's female. I do. It's definitely

00:17:26.069 --> 00:17:29.450
a female. And what did she say exactly to you?

00:17:30.089 --> 00:17:32.710
You're not going to die. It's not time yet. It's

00:17:32.710 --> 00:17:34.970
going to be OK. It's going to hurt. It's going

00:17:34.970 --> 00:17:38.740
to be OK. We're here. I'm not leaving you. kept

00:17:38.740 --> 00:17:40.859
hearing over and over, I'm not leaving you, you're

00:17:40.859 --> 00:17:43.539
not dying. I'm not leaving you, you're not dying.

00:17:43.799 --> 00:17:47.940
You've got more to do was one of the takeaways.

00:17:48.059 --> 00:17:50.819
You've got more to do. I'm like, how am I going

00:17:50.819 --> 00:17:54.519
to be able to do anything? I feel what's going

00:17:54.519 --> 00:17:57.960
on. By that time, you have the wherewithal to

00:17:57.960 --> 00:18:00.819
know that where you're going, you're not going

00:18:00.819 --> 00:18:04.680
to get to leave any time soon. That was a very

00:18:04.680 --> 00:18:09.990
hard reality. knowing that I don't know when

00:18:09.990 --> 00:18:14.150
I'm coming back home and not knowing I was angry

00:18:14.150 --> 00:18:17.789
because I'm like, I just want to go back there,

00:18:18.170 --> 00:18:20.789
back there. No, we can't go back there. You're

00:18:20.789 --> 00:18:23.910
not ready. You can't go back. You know, I was

00:18:23.910 --> 00:18:27.529
so angry for the longest time that I could not

00:18:27.529 --> 00:18:30.970
go back. And you'd look after an experience like

00:18:30.970 --> 00:18:34.470
that and you're in this place of peace and happiness

00:18:34.470 --> 00:18:38.099
and The world isn't so heavy on your shoulders,

00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:42.400
and you can't go back. You have to stay here.

00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:46.359
That's the hardest thing. Dying isn't scary.

00:18:47.259 --> 00:18:51.839
Death is not scary. It's beautiful. It's so peaceful.

00:18:52.779 --> 00:18:56.059
Living is the scary part, and you want to go

00:18:56.059 --> 00:19:00.869
back to that light. You want to go and see, you

00:19:00.869 --> 00:19:03.410
want more of that light, you want more of that

00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:06.930
noise, you want more of that experience. Is that

00:19:06.930 --> 00:19:09.150
the end of the experience or is there something

00:19:09.150 --> 00:19:13.710
else that you remember? I remember being in the

00:19:13.710 --> 00:19:15.690
living room knowing that I had to guard my neck

00:19:15.690 --> 00:19:20.130
and I had to get the focus off of what was going

00:19:20.130 --> 00:19:23.069
on and have a reason to just fight. You think

00:19:23.069 --> 00:19:26.329
of any other reason to get back up, keep pushing

00:19:26.329 --> 00:19:30.250
and By that time, I had lost a lot of blood.

00:19:30.529 --> 00:19:34.430
But I remember almost like a slideshow or a movie,

00:19:34.450 --> 00:19:43.150
a video of my childhood and me and my dad outside

00:19:43.150 --> 00:19:47.049
by the pool just as it was placed in. And I remember

00:19:47.049 --> 00:19:51.990
his swimsuit. I remember what the ground looked

00:19:51.990 --> 00:19:54.430
like. It was still red mud. There was no concrete.

00:19:55.940 --> 00:19:58.720
And I remember jumping in the water with him.

00:19:59.299 --> 00:20:02.319
And that's what death felt like. Just jumping

00:20:02.319 --> 00:20:07.799
in the water and being done and just that exhilaration

00:20:07.799 --> 00:20:10.880
flowing through your body. And I remember the

00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:13.500
same thing being at the beach with him and him

00:20:13.500 --> 00:20:16.480
letting me ride the waves as a little one and

00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:20.000
just feeling that experience. And I can tell

00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.079
you the color of his swimsuit, it was yellow.

00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:26.549
And the other one was orange. I'm way too short,

00:20:26.869 --> 00:20:31.730
but I remember those childhood moments and being

00:20:31.730 --> 00:20:36.609
at home, laying on Daisy, our first dog, and

00:20:36.609 --> 00:20:40.369
playing with her little puppies. And that's where

00:20:40.369 --> 00:20:45.150
I went in that moment, and I just had to get

00:20:45.150 --> 00:20:51.609
back to them. I had to get back to that, but

00:20:51.609 --> 00:20:54.890
that place to me in that moment was that light.

00:20:55.130 --> 00:20:57.730
Because that's what I saw. I had to get back

00:20:57.730 --> 00:21:02.349
to those memories and to that happiness and to

00:21:02.349 --> 00:21:06.269
that peace. I didn't want to wake back up where

00:21:06.269 --> 00:21:09.529
I was. I didn't want to face what was coming.

00:21:10.509 --> 00:21:14.150
I wanted to go back to that. And it was very

00:21:14.150 --> 00:21:18.089
hard. And that's where the anger came in, is

00:21:18.089 --> 00:21:21.930
why do I have to come back to this? And so that's

00:21:21.930 --> 00:21:25.289
been the... Obviously, the most emotional part

00:21:25.289 --> 00:21:31.250
for me is I can't go back there yet. But my childhood,

00:21:31.650 --> 00:21:34.730
beautiful memories that were just the time I

00:21:34.730 --> 00:21:38.430
had and the time I will have with my parents.

00:21:38.970 --> 00:21:43.309
But I had never before remembered any of that.

00:21:43.349 --> 00:21:46.670
I was far too young. When I fact checked with

00:21:46.670 --> 00:21:51.369
my mom, it was correct. I remembered it correctly,

00:21:51.789 --> 00:21:54.299
colors and all. And these are times from when

00:21:54.299 --> 00:21:57.500
you were a baby or a very young child? Yep, nine

00:21:57.500 --> 00:22:01.259
months, nine months roughly. Six, nine months.

00:22:01.559 --> 00:22:04.160
How has all of this changed your life? You're

00:22:04.160 --> 00:22:07.240
a different person. I am. I am a very different

00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:12.059
person. Family's first. Work's second. Money,

00:22:12.220 --> 00:22:14.740
you really, when you're laying there, it doesn't

00:22:14.740 --> 00:22:18.539
matter. I have always been one that worked never.

00:22:18.890 --> 00:22:21.230
cared about taking a vacation. I was going to

00:22:21.230 --> 00:22:24.250
cash in on the vacation. Now I take the vacation.

00:22:24.470 --> 00:22:28.210
When I finally was well enough, well, prior,

00:22:28.569 --> 00:22:32.109
my parents came to see me after I was out of

00:22:32.109 --> 00:22:36.269
the hospital. I was in that angry phase of things.

00:22:36.269 --> 00:22:40.390
And it wasn't until they'd left that I realized

00:22:40.390 --> 00:22:44.269
how much I needed them. And I think the second

00:22:44.269 --> 00:22:49.099
they pulled out of my driveway, I... I packed

00:22:49.099 --> 00:22:52.519
my suitcase, put Amelia in the car, and we went

00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:55.180
home for what was going to be a week. It ended

00:22:55.180 --> 00:22:58.460
up being four months. And I just stayed. I was

00:22:58.460 --> 00:23:02.700
with my mom, my dad, my aunts, my uncles, my

00:23:02.700 --> 00:23:07.279
cousins. That was very healing for me. Just being

00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:10.880
around the people you love and not worrying about

00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:14.460
anything else. Not worrying about status quo's

00:23:14.460 --> 00:23:18.140
or... societal opinions or how much money's in

00:23:18.140 --> 00:23:22.519
the bank. Just spending the moments with the

00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:26.680
people you love and just having those hugs and

00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:31.599
those conversations. I would not change a single

00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:33.599
day of that four months. I just wish I could

00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:37.299
have extended it even more. Priorities certainly

00:23:37.299 --> 00:23:40.579
shift when you wake up. What mattered before

00:23:40.579 --> 00:23:43.910
doesn't matter anymore. I don't have anybody

00:23:43.910 --> 00:23:49.950
to impress. I don't have any kind of legacy,

00:23:50.309 --> 00:23:54.170
anything to leave, other than every day I encounter

00:23:54.170 --> 00:23:57.250
an angel. That's one day they take the shovel

00:23:57.250 --> 00:23:59.930
out of my hand, and that's what I say. You know,

00:24:00.109 --> 00:24:02.690
God, if I've got to live here, put an angel in

00:24:02.690 --> 00:24:04.809
front of me that takes the shovel, because I

00:24:04.809 --> 00:24:07.670
want to dig my own grave. And He's done that.

00:24:07.769 --> 00:24:11.069
He's done that every day in the most unsuspecting

00:24:11.069 --> 00:24:14.730
places. somebody comes by and takes the shovel

00:24:14.730 --> 00:24:17.430
out of my hand. That's all we can do is take

00:24:17.430 --> 00:24:21.130
it day by day. That's beautiful. Last thing,

00:24:21.329 --> 00:24:24.509
any advice for someone that has just been going

00:24:24.509 --> 00:24:28.410
through a really difficult, really difficult

00:24:28.410 --> 00:24:30.750
something, whether it's a regular trial or something

00:24:30.750 --> 00:24:35.410
hugely physical as well as emotional? Feel. Feel.

00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:39.630
If you're mad, be mad. If you're sad, cry. If

00:24:39.630 --> 00:24:44.880
you're hurt, Be hurt. Don't pretend you're something

00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.960
that you're not because that's what I did and

00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:49.740
it nearly killed me. Pretending I'm happy, pretending

00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:52.880
I'm well, pretending I'm okay when I wasn't.

00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:58.579
Live your truth. Hurt. Feel. Cry. Do it in public.

00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:04.259
Because until you feel, you don't know why you

00:25:04.259 --> 00:25:06.859
feel. You don't know what's behind it. There's

00:25:06.859 --> 00:25:10.460
so much emotion. For me, there was so much emotion

00:25:10.460 --> 00:25:13.359
that I didn't know what was behind it. There

00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:17.559
was more. I wasn't mad at the dog. I wasn't mad

00:25:17.559 --> 00:25:22.079
at anybody. I was just mad. When I finally was

00:25:22.079 --> 00:25:25.759
able to work the anger out, I was able to cry.

00:25:26.019 --> 00:25:29.980
And I'm not a crier. The fact that I cried on

00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:35.240
this podcast is pretty remarkable. That's a huge

00:25:35.240 --> 00:25:39.660
hurdle that I jumped. I don't cry. And I've learned

00:25:39.660 --> 00:25:43.920
to cry. And I've learned to be sad. And I've

00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:49.519
learned to find the emotion that's real. That's

00:25:49.519 --> 00:25:53.359
the book. It took a turn because where I started

00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:57.039
wasn't where I ended up. The message changed

00:25:57.039 --> 00:26:02.640
completely as I understood myself. And the most

00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:06.740
difficult part to understand is that while I'm

00:26:06.740 --> 00:26:09.460
living, breathing, and seeing myself in a mirror,

00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:12.839
I've got to grieve my own death because the life

00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:16.779
I had before is gone. Those people that were

00:26:16.779 --> 00:26:20.920
there before, their life went on. While I was

00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:23.839
in the hospital, while I was in wound care, they

00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:28.359
kept living. And I can't pick back up six months

00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:32.259
later and expect everything to be the same. My

00:26:32.259 --> 00:26:36.880
life stopped. Theirs went on. And I've got to

00:26:36.880 --> 00:26:40.160
grieve the death of that life. And when you go

00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:43.539
through anything traumatic, you're not supposed

00:26:43.539 --> 00:26:46.059
to be the same. You're not supposed to come out

00:26:46.059 --> 00:26:48.440
the same on the other side. It's impossible.

00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:52.309
You're different. Time does not heal those wounds.

00:26:52.569 --> 00:26:54.750
You can't sit there and wait for life to go back

00:26:54.750 --> 00:26:59.109
to the way it is. Time changes you. Time doesn't

00:26:59.109 --> 00:27:02.390
heal. It just changes you. And you have to embrace

00:27:02.390 --> 00:27:06.470
that. And if it's been five years, 15 years,

00:27:06.490 --> 00:27:09.710
50 years ago, and you're still sad, you're still

00:27:09.710 --> 00:27:12.809
struggling, good. That was important to you.

00:27:13.069 --> 00:27:16.769
You should still be sad. You should still feel

00:27:16.769 --> 00:27:20.660
the love that was. We're not supposed to just

00:27:20.660 --> 00:27:24.720
turn off human emotion and move on like nothing

00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:29.500
happened. We're supposed to remember what was,

00:27:29.740 --> 00:27:34.160
embrace it, love it, feel what was, and make

00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:37.460
today better because of it. We're not supposed

00:27:37.460 --> 00:27:39.539
to leave it behind, close the book, and move

00:27:39.539 --> 00:27:43.319
on. And I'm so sick of people saying, just get

00:27:43.319 --> 00:27:48.809
over it. No, no, don't just get over it. That's

00:27:48.809 --> 00:27:53.150
not love. You don't just get over the love you

00:27:53.150 --> 00:27:57.470
have for yourself or for the loved one that you

00:27:57.470 --> 00:28:01.269
lost or the friends, the boyfriend, the dog.

00:28:01.369 --> 00:28:05.630
I still cry now over my first Great Day Napgal.

00:28:07.089 --> 00:28:11.809
It's time to normalize pain. It's time to say

00:28:11.809 --> 00:28:14.630
it's okay to cry in public. It's okay to voice.

00:28:14.910 --> 00:28:18.519
It's okay. You're stronger. If you're not okay,

00:28:18.819 --> 00:28:21.880
then if you run around pretending you're okay,

00:28:22.420 --> 00:28:25.740
you can't do it. And you should be able to talk

00:28:25.740 --> 00:28:29.799
about it whenever, however you want to. And if

00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:32.900
nobody will listen to you, I will. I'll listen.

00:28:33.180 --> 00:28:35.400
I'll give your phone number out to everybody.

00:28:36.440 --> 00:28:39.859
I'm kidding. I would not do that. But Chelsea,

00:28:40.380 --> 00:28:43.299
you are a strong person and thank you so much

00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:46.339
for sharing all of this with us today. I hope

00:28:46.339 --> 00:28:49.140
that. I hope there's one person out there that

00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:53.079
just needs to know it's okay to be sad. It's

00:28:53.079 --> 00:28:57.519
okay to be sad. It is. We grow from those normal

00:28:57.519 --> 00:29:04.200
human emotions and we evolve. And I today am

00:29:04.200 --> 00:29:08.380
much more compassionate and empathetic to anyone

00:29:08.380 --> 00:29:11.079
and everyone that I encounter because you just

00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:14.339
don't know what kind of day they've had. We hear

00:29:14.339 --> 00:29:16.910
it all the time, but... Take that seriously.

00:29:17.630 --> 00:29:20.930
You don't know what they're facing or what they

00:29:20.930 --> 00:29:25.450
have faced. So just be compassionate. Live with

00:29:25.450 --> 00:29:29.430
love. Thanks again for listening and sharing

00:29:29.430 --> 00:29:31.730
this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow

00:29:31.730 --> 00:29:34.609
or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter

00:29:34.609 --> 00:29:37.759
at roundtriptest .com. If you want to share your

00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:40.200
near -death experience, or if you have questions

00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:42.900
or comments about the show, send an email to

00:29:42.900 --> 00:29:46.380
eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish

00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:48.259
you everything good that you're looking for in

00:29:48.259 --> 00:29:49.920
this life and the next.