March 31, 2025
Krista's 8 Minute NDE During Childbirth
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"All The Questions Of My Life Were Answered."
Krista Gorman is a Physician's Assistant in Florida, USA. Her Near Death Experience (NDE) came as a result of complications during childbirth and an emergency C-Section.
After leaving her body she had no sense of time and no recall of being human. She was "pure consciousness." She traveled to a beautiful, Eden-like place with rolling green hills, waterfalls, and amazing yellow flowers. She felt unity with nature in this blissful, perfect place.
A feeling of divine peace came over her and she learned that love is the answer to all of her questions. She then met beings she describes as "shadow people." She could have happily stayed for eternity, but felt the need to go back. At that point she was told, "If you go back, you need to share what you learned here."
During Krista's NDE she believes her DNA was actually restructured, upgraded. She learned that transitioning is a beautiful process and that we all have free will.
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Transcript
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From the time that they pronounced me dead was
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a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then
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they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped and
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I could see people screaming and crying but I
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didn't realize that was actually my physical
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body because I was somewhere else. The only thing
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that I could feel if you could imagine absolute
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love and peace, there wasn't anything else to
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be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in
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the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe
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and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip
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Death, everybody. And a warm welcome to our special
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guest, Krista Gorman, coming to us from Florida.
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Good morning. How are you? Good morning. I'm
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great. How are you? I'm doing so well. What's
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it like in Florida today? It's very windy, sunny,
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but very windy. and just a little bit chilly,
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which is nice. What does chilly mean? Because
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we still have snow around here. Well, with the
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wind blowing, it's probably in the low 60s. Oh,
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sorry, not making fun. Before we jump into your
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NDE, which people are going to love. Great story
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coming up, everybody. Tell us just a little bit
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about you. Who's Krista? Oh, wow. Wow, that's
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a loaded question. Well, Krista is a healthcare
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provider. I work as a PA. I've been a PA for
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25 years. My near -death experience happened
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just three weeks after I graduated PA school.
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My entire career has been spent with this sort
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of like base knowledge, understanding of the
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transition of death and what that sort of entailed
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for me anyway. I was able to incorporate that
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into my practice to a certain extent. But yeah,
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I married. My husband Ainsley Threadgold is also
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a near -death experiencer and a police officer.
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And we have a, I have a stepdaughter, his daughter,
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and I have a daughter through my previous marriage
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who was born three weeks after I graduated PA
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school. Okay. And that has to do with your NDE.
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I'm curious first, You mentioned that you've
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somehow involved this in your practice. Yes.
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Have you had patients that have had NDEs or tell
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me what you meant by that? I have actually met
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some patients who have shared with me without
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me soliciting that information from them that
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they had NDEs. But no, my near -death experience
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just transformed me so fundamentally that about
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a third of the way into my career, I sort of
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came to a point where I was in a sort of desperate
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need of healing my life. And I used my near -death
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experience as the blueprint for healing. And
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in the process of that, found a new sort of state
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of being where I could be. far, far, far more
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present with my patients and far more open to
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receiving information from them. And it just
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really, it assisted me, assisted them in my caring
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for them. How have other healthcare providers
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reacted when you told them about your experience?
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I had a physician I worked with in the emergency
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room who was Catholic, and I was raised Catholic,
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but she came from that point of view. practicing
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Catholic, and she sort of stared at me as I was
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telling her the story, shaking her head, saying,
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you shouldn't be here. She's like, I mean it,
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like you really shouldn't be here. I kind of
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laugh because the medical emergencies that I
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was involved in were significant, and I lived
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through them. So that's kind of the point of
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view. She was in amazement. And then the experience
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itself, she was also in amazement of. I didn't
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widely share it with my colleagues because they
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come from a scientific, very rigid thinking,
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egocentric, which is completely the opposite
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of the experience itself, the polarity of who
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I am really as a person. In the Western medical
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fields and in Western medicine in general, I
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sort of didn't share my NDE a lot, but with those
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that I did share it with, they were pretty floored.
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But in a positive way or did they not believe
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you? In a positive way. If they didn't believe
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me, they didn't share that with me. And, you
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know, I've had just in casual conversations with
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others who work in the medical field. Sometimes
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there'd be like the nod of, oh, yeah, that's
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interesting. And that's even at IAAMS, you know,
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participating at IAAMS. Sometimes the scientists
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there are not there for the sharing love and
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light. They're there for sharing data and facts.
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And it's hard for them to see beyond that sometimes.
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It almost seems though, like, if they're at IAAMS,
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they must at least sort of believe it or what
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are they even doing there? Yeah, I feel that
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too. I haven't actually gotten into an in -depth
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discussion asking questions about that in particular.
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It's just been my experience to a point, to an
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extent, and it's not all of them. I think that
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just points to the deeper aspects of ourselves
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that we are. We wear the suit of a scientist,
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yet we are this infinite being. that is on some
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level, whether it's conscious or unconscious,
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in touch with that realm from which we all emanate,
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where collectively we all exist still. And I
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believe, this is my understanding and my belief
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and my experience, is that we here incarnate
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in these physical bodies. We are only partially
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incarnated in these bodies. There's still a greater
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part of ourselves that exists in the collective,
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in union with all other beings, creatures. that
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source of energy information is that highest
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vibration, and we can get in touch with that
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if we choose to or are able to allow ourselves
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to. And that's part of what you learned during
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your NDE? Yes, and what I've concretely experienced
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afterwards, and even before, you know, looking
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back in my life. But yes, that's something that
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was gleaned from my NDE. Let's jump into that
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part right now. People are in suspense. Now we're
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going back quite a few years and you mentioned
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childbirth, which is when this happened. Did
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you have any complications leading up to it that
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made you think that maybe you were going to have
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some big issues during childbirth? No, I didn't,
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you know, but I did have a precognition, which
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was interesting. So what happened with me was
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I was a PA student. I was in my last year of
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PA school, the very end of my PA training. I'm
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ready to graduate. And I had had a 20 -week ultrasound
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where it showed my daughter's kidney. She had
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a lot of fluid in her kidney. They were concerned
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about it as I approached the end of my pregnancy
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and said, we can induce you a week early and
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get her evaluated sooner to make sure that that
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kidney is OK. So my scientific PA brain said,
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oh, absolutely, let's do that. And my higher
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self sort of for just a brief moment was like,
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no, that's not necessary. It's okay. But I overrode
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it with my ego mind and let the fear, the concern
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sort of take over and agreed to the induction.
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Well, when a mother -to -be is induced, they
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give a medication called Pitocin, which causes
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very significant abnormally strong uterine contractions.
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And I knew that as a student. I completed an
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OB -GYN rotation and helped deliver babies. And
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I understood the process of induction. And I
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also understood that there's complications from
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induction, one of which is distress, significant
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distress on the baby that would lead to a cesarean
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section. And I wanted to avoid that at all costs,
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but at the same time, I wanted to make sure that
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my baby was okay. I agreed to the induction,
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started it after many hours. Overnight, I had
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not progressed very far in labor, and my daughter
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showed signs of distress, significant enough
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to require an emergency C -section. And I knew
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that the minute I saw the tracing on the monitor.
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They were putting an internal monitor on her
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scalp, and she, this is my guess, she reflects,
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she kicks so hard at the pain from it, which
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they say babies don't feel it, but I believe
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that's untrue. She kicked so hard she kicked
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the amniotic fluid into my bloodstream. So that
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caused my body to mount an allergic reaction
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to it because it's not supposed to mix. That's
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what the placenta is for. She kicked so hard
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that she pushed the amniotic fluid into my system
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and right away I started having trouble breathing
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and very quickly decompensated, cardiopulmonary
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wise, and I coded. They lost my pulse for eight
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minutes. During that time, what I recall is being
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unable to catch my breath, them turning me on
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my left side, and that helps pump the heart pump
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blood more efficiently to the baby and to your
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body. They put oxygen on my face and started
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to wheel me out of the room. By the time they
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got me out the door into the hallway between
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my room and the delivery room, the operating
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room, I remember my vision just sort of closing,
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sort of like the tunnel is closing, and this
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feeling of. divine peace just come over me, sort
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of over my head to the front, and I lost my vision.
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I don't know if I closed my eyes or not, but
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I was out. And the next point of awareness I
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had was of looking down, being far above a body,
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looking down and watching black particles come
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racing up to where my vision was. And I was sort
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of surrounded by this undulating, static cloud.
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and I was completely neutral. I didn't have any
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concept of the self or of what I was witnessing
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below. I didn't have any names for anything,
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any identification of what any of it was. I didn't
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know that I had been a human in a body. I was
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just pure consciousness, but I could see. I watched
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another physician come in the room. I watched
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them deliver my daughter. Of course, I didn't
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know that this was a physician, that that was
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my daughter. None of it. These were human beings.
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and I saw somebody take her and turn around,
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and I couldn't see what was going on. And I was
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just curious. I felt this intense curiosity,
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like, oh, I want to know more about this. And
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so I moved to the other side of the room. I saw
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someone to my left shoulder threading something
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into my chest, which I found out was they put
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a Swans Gantz catheter in my pulmonary circulation
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so they could measure for pulmonary hypertension.
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I recall feeling more and more curious, like
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that feeling was intensifying. And then I felt
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something pull to my left and I resisted it because
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I wanted to find out what was going on and it
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pulled harder. I just knew it wasn't going to
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take me unless I wanted to go and it really wanted
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me to go. And so I just agreed. I just felt,
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okay, I'll go. And then I started to move to
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the left super fast. I went through the wall.
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There was like this sort of undulating off white
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wall with wallpaper border and into this white
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space that was just a flash of bright, bright
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white. And then I moved through another sort
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of opening into this dense particulate matter
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that I was. I was sort of like reabsorbed in
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this space and I was moving imperceptibly fast.
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And again, still just quite neutral and just
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like, oh, interested in what was going on, curious
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a bit, and I looked to my left and the side looked
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like dense particles and then at some points
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it would be sort of liquidy, gray, white, black,
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and then turned back into the dense particles.
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Then I turned and I stopped and there was this
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download that I received. It was sort of like
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a funnel of information and all came to one point
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in front of me. It was as if, and this is the
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best way that I can describe it, it was as if
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All the questions I'd ever had in my life were
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answered in sort of this instant of this information.
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And that one point was love. Love was the answer
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to everything. At that second, I felt permeated
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with this divine, blissful love. It was ecstatic.
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It was everything. It was everything I'd ever
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need, ever wanted, ever desired. I could exist
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there eternally and be completely content. Okay,
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let's pause there for a second. I want to ask
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some questions about what's happened so far.
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So hold your train of thought. We were talking
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about love. I don't get that the black particles
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that you said as you were looking down were rising.
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That's something I don't think I've heard before.
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Tell me a little bit more about that. The best
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way to describe them were like little tiny black
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dots and they were coming from the body below.
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The majority of them were from the chest area,
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but there were some from the head and some from
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the gut. And they all just moved on their own
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in sort of like unison up to where my vision
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was, where I could see. But I was not anything.
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I was not in any physical form. I was just there.
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I was just energy. I believe that, well, I'll
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sort of say this at this point. My near -death
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experience was created by me, by my consciousness,
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and by universal consciousness source, God, whatever
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you want to call it, in unison, in tandem, in
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working with one another, in order for me to
00:14:52.440 --> 00:14:57.200
have this experience so that I could come back
00:14:57.200 --> 00:15:00.759
here to the body, sort of grow as a human in
00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:05.690
this body from it. and then share with the world
00:15:05.690 --> 00:15:10.909
what it was that I experienced in the efforts
00:15:10.909 --> 00:15:15.029
or the ultimate goal of helping humanity in some
00:15:15.029 --> 00:15:18.250
way. You mentioned being pulled from, I think
00:15:18.250 --> 00:15:21.690
it was from your left side by it. What's the
00:15:21.690 --> 00:15:27.529
it? It was a force. couldn't identify it, didn't
00:15:27.529 --> 00:15:29.909
have a desire to identify it, didn't matter what
00:15:29.909 --> 00:15:33.289
it was, but it was a force greater than my desire
00:15:33.289 --> 00:15:38.370
to stay. It was something that, it felt neutral,
00:15:38.629 --> 00:15:42.490
but it felt strong. I call it intuitive feeling,
00:15:42.690 --> 00:15:46.110
but I was just pure consciousness. So it was
00:15:46.110 --> 00:15:49.250
just my consciousness understood without having
00:15:49.250 --> 00:15:52.990
to have a human explanation for all of it that
00:15:52.990 --> 00:15:55.879
I needed to go. And I would love to know more
00:15:55.879 --> 00:15:59.159
about the download of info. I have a guess, the
00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:01.460
question that I'm going to ask, I think I know
00:16:01.460 --> 00:16:05.639
the answer already, but do you know everything
00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:08.179
that was downloaded to you? Do you remember all
00:16:08.179 --> 00:16:10.919
of it? You said the answer is to all your questions.
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:16.059
Yeah. No, I don't. The one thing that I guess
00:16:16.059 --> 00:16:20.820
stood out was there's absolutely a higher reason,
00:16:20.899 --> 00:16:24.620
purpose for absolutely everything. It doesn't
00:16:24.620 --> 00:16:26.759
matter what you're talking about. That's the
00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.259
one thing I already knew going in. I already
00:16:29.259 --> 00:16:32.360
understood that, but that confirmed it for me.
00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:36.539
That's just one example. And I feel like in all
00:16:36.539 --> 00:16:39.980
the years that I've lived back in this body again,
00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:44.120
in this life, in this world, I've come to understand
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:48.740
the things that I know intuitively to be true.
00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:54.519
I believe I feel came from that experience that
00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:58.440
download. So I mean, that's where for me, intuition
00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:02.620
is the highest form of sort of checking to see
00:17:02.620 --> 00:17:05.599
if something is right or wrong for me. It's all
00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:09.519
about how I feel. I believe my DNA was restructured
00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:14.259
during my experience. Wow. Part of that restructuring
00:17:14.259 --> 00:17:18.519
was this sort of information that I have and
00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:21.839
it's helped guide me in my life and helps me
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:26.200
to not get upset about politics and the state
00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:29.460
of the world and all of that because there's
00:17:29.460 --> 00:17:32.559
much bigger things at play here. Yeah, it just
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:35.299
doesn't matter as much as we think it does. Okay,
00:17:35.319 --> 00:17:38.440
let's get back to where you were. You were talking
00:17:38.440 --> 00:17:42.099
about love being the answer to everything. Explain
00:17:42.099 --> 00:17:45.660
and keep moving on from there. Okay. Love, love
00:17:45.660 --> 00:17:48.039
is it. It doesn't matter again what we're talking
00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:52.819
about. Everything is love in its various forms.
00:17:53.140 --> 00:17:55.759
For me, I can choose to see that or I don't have
00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:58.660
to see it. I can choose to be in my ego and see
00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:01.900
things as separate as not love. In that state
00:18:01.900 --> 00:18:04.779
I was in, it was just everything all encompassed.
00:18:04.779 --> 00:18:07.579
And I felt like when I felt that love, I felt
00:18:07.579 --> 00:18:12.240
the eternity of it, the infiniteness of it. It's
00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:15.900
timeless, boundless. and it expanded everywhere.
00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.519
I expanded out with it everywhere, in all directions,
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:23.539
eternally. There was no end to me, or to it.
00:18:23.980 --> 00:18:26.640
Quickly after that, there was a light off to
00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:29.279
my right, a little dot of a white light. It was
00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:31.220
drawing me to it, it wanted me to come to it,
00:18:31.220 --> 00:18:33.000
so I started to move in that direction. As I
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:37.440
got closer, the light became bigger and more
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:39.819
of a circle, and it was sort of like a cloudy
00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:43.069
opening. And in the opening there were these
00:18:43.069 --> 00:18:46.349
shadow beings there. And in the front was a shadow
00:18:46.349 --> 00:18:49.890
being of a little boy. And what I could make
00:18:49.890 --> 00:18:54.109
out was he had overalls on and a, like a straw
00:18:54.109 --> 00:18:58.190
hat with a wide brim and he needed my help. So
00:18:58.190 --> 00:19:00.730
I wanted to help him. I started to move into
00:19:00.730 --> 00:19:03.369
that space. And as I moved into the opening,
00:19:03.549 --> 00:19:05.829
all the shadow beings, the taller ones, like
00:19:05.829 --> 00:19:08.869
I call them adults, but the taller shadow beings
00:19:08.869 --> 00:19:11.819
sort of fanned out. on my left, like in a line.
00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:15.619
And I went to what felt like the center of the
00:19:15.619 --> 00:19:17.779
space, and it was still like a misty, cloudy
00:19:17.779 --> 00:19:22.640
atmosphere. And I felt all of these shadow beings
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.619
needed my help, wanted my help, wanted me to
00:19:25.619 --> 00:19:28.839
help them. And I felt, yes, I want to help you
00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:32.539
all. And they started to come at me at that point
00:19:32.539 --> 00:19:35.000
and dart away, come at me and dart away from
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:38.579
all directions. And what I quickly realized was
00:19:38.579 --> 00:19:40.779
that they were actually, they wanted my energy.
00:19:41.140 --> 00:19:45.220
They wanted me, not just my help, but they wanted
00:19:45.220 --> 00:19:48.380
me. I started to feel like I was diminishing
00:19:48.380 --> 00:19:51.339
there. And if I had stayed, I would have just
00:19:51.339 --> 00:19:54.779
given, almost given myself away to all of these
00:19:54.779 --> 00:19:58.220
entities that needed me, needed my energy and
00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:01.599
sacrificed myself. And I chose, no, I want to
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:05.880
leave now. And it wasn't scary. It wasn't frightening
00:20:05.880 --> 00:20:08.819
in any way. It was completely neutral. As soon
00:20:08.819 --> 00:20:11.259
as I felt I wanted to go, I wanted to leave,
00:20:11.539 --> 00:20:13.819
I was pulled out of there, again, to the left.
00:20:14.299 --> 00:20:17.359
Pulled out, back in the dense particle space.
00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:21.799
That was very brief flash moment. And then I
00:20:21.799 --> 00:20:23.519
went through a less distinct opening. It was
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:26.900
more particulate matter, circular again, but
00:20:26.900 --> 00:20:29.279
then I merged through it into this gorgeous Eden.
00:20:29.549 --> 00:20:33.670
scene with rolling green hills and a rock waterfall
00:20:33.670 --> 00:20:37.170
and dense evergreen forest and just beautiful
00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:39.690
yellow flowers span out in front of me and it
00:20:39.690 --> 00:20:42.549
was just absolutely gorgeous and I merged with
00:20:42.549 --> 00:20:45.450
all of it. It was as if I merged with all of
00:20:45.450 --> 00:20:48.509
nature. I became the flowers and the trees and
00:20:48.509 --> 00:20:52.190
the water and the rocks and the sky, grass. It
00:20:52.190 --> 00:20:54.970
was bliss, again, still blissful, blissful feeling,
00:20:55.150 --> 00:20:57.869
blissful love. And then I was flanked on both
00:20:57.869 --> 00:21:03.609
sides. By these tall beige drapey kind of humanoid
00:21:03.609 --> 00:21:06.130
figures. They didn't really have faces They just
00:21:06.130 --> 00:21:09.890
I felt them and they were feeling to me and what
00:21:09.890 --> 00:21:13.210
they felt to me was you can stay here You can
00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:15.829
go to what comes beyond this or you can go back
00:21:15.829 --> 00:21:18.730
after I left my body I didn't have any concept
00:21:18.730 --> 00:21:22.390
of my human life any memory. No, I didn't have
00:21:22.390 --> 00:21:26.730
an identity as Christa. I was still my consciousness
00:21:26.730 --> 00:21:30.819
without a name for a moment paused, because I
00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:33.279
could have stayed in this Eden, too, eternally.
00:21:33.539 --> 00:21:35.819
Didn't know why I was choosing, but I chose to
00:21:35.819 --> 00:21:38.839
go back. As soon as I felt that, back to these
00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:42.039
beings, I started to move backwards. And they
00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:44.619
turned, as I was moving, they turned and communicated
00:21:44.619 --> 00:21:47.220
to me, well, if you go back, you need to share
00:21:47.220 --> 00:21:49.859
what you learned here. And I agreed. The next
00:21:49.859 --> 00:21:55.180
thing I knew, I was waking up in the ICU. Wow,
00:21:55.180 --> 00:21:57.730
that's really cool. That's a lot. One thing that
00:21:57.730 --> 00:22:00.069
I don't understand, and I'm sure you've thought
00:22:00.069 --> 00:22:02.029
about it, so maybe you can explain it to me,
00:22:02.309 --> 00:22:05.990
is if you didn't feel an attachment to that body
00:22:05.990 --> 00:22:09.650
or even that that was Krista, why did you choose
00:22:09.650 --> 00:22:12.289
to go back, do you think? Well, I think it's
00:22:12.289 --> 00:22:16.170
not just one thing. It's sort of like a multitude
00:22:16.170 --> 00:22:20.109
of things. I believe that I chose to come back
00:22:20.109 --> 00:22:24.470
to the life I was in and continue that life as
00:22:24.470 --> 00:22:28.640
the Krista. that I was for the most part. And
00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:31.940
part of that reason for coming back was that
00:22:31.940 --> 00:22:34.779
all of my family wanted me back. I don't know
00:22:34.779 --> 00:22:36.960
if Maggie did, my daughter, because, you know,
00:22:36.980 --> 00:22:40.099
she was just born, but she probably had, on some
00:22:40.099 --> 00:22:42.579
level, had a desire for her mother. All of that
00:22:42.579 --> 00:22:47.539
energy pulling me back, I believe, did contribute
00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:50.920
to that choice on some, you know, some level.
00:22:51.210 --> 00:22:55.329
You know, I'm so grateful. I chose to come back
00:22:55.329 --> 00:22:59.609
because this life has had its ups and downs in
00:22:59.609 --> 00:23:02.210
the human form, but it's been pretty, pretty
00:23:02.210 --> 00:23:04.670
amazing. And I want to hear a lot more about
00:23:04.670 --> 00:23:07.690
what you've learned and how you've applied that
00:23:07.690 --> 00:23:11.430
since then. But one last thing, what you termed
00:23:11.430 --> 00:23:14.329
as the Eden scene. Could you give us any bit
00:23:14.329 --> 00:23:17.349
more detail about that? What did it look like,
00:23:17.509 --> 00:23:21.180
feel like, smell like? Oh, okay. Well, it felt
00:23:21.180 --> 00:23:24.940
completely blissful. It felt completely perfect.
00:23:25.579 --> 00:23:28.779
The colors were very bright, brighter than normal,
00:23:28.940 --> 00:23:33.160
but not excessive. I didn't have any sense of
00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:37.900
smells or sound in my experience. I just felt
00:23:37.900 --> 00:23:44.420
in unity with all of nature, all of the elements.
00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:50.069
I was it, and it was me. There was no disconnect
00:23:50.069 --> 00:23:53.809
there. We were fluidly like a part of one another.
00:23:54.289 --> 00:23:57.170
All of the trees and grass and flowers and water
00:23:57.170 --> 00:24:00.609
and rocks and sky and sun. Everybody that has
00:24:00.609 --> 00:24:04.109
an NDE comes back changed, but not everybody
00:24:04.109 --> 00:24:07.349
describes it as having their DNA actually changed.
00:24:08.069 --> 00:24:10.650
Describe that a little bit and some of the changes
00:24:10.650 --> 00:24:15.279
that you felt after. Okay, so before I... I had
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:18.660
my daughter. I had taken my bores as a PA, graduated,
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:20.880
officially graduated PA school at the end of
00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:24.960
June. I had her in July. And I was all about
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:29.059
the science, all about knowing absolutely everything
00:24:29.059 --> 00:24:33.160
so that I could best help my patients. I prided
00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:37.059
myself on the facts. You know, I knew, I just
00:24:37.059 --> 00:24:39.779
knew it all. And I was like really proud of myself
00:24:39.779 --> 00:24:42.259
and knew I was going to do a great job and I
00:24:42.259 --> 00:24:44.420
couldn't wait to start taking care of people.
00:24:44.569 --> 00:24:49.509
After I came back, I didn't remember that I was
00:24:49.509 --> 00:24:52.430
a P .A. student. I didn't remember I'd graduated.
00:24:52.789 --> 00:24:55.529
I didn't even remember I had had a baby. I didn't
00:24:55.529 --> 00:24:58.930
remember my pregnancy. So there was that sort
00:24:58.930 --> 00:25:03.769
of lag in recovery of my brain functioning. It
00:25:03.769 --> 00:25:06.849
was sort of like I liken it to layers of an onion
00:25:06.849 --> 00:25:11.029
being peeled where it reveals more and more each
00:25:11.029 --> 00:25:14.539
time you peel a layer. And for me, that tended
00:25:14.539 --> 00:25:17.880
to happen after sleeping. I would wake up and
00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:21.180
I would feel a little bit more like the old Krista
00:25:21.180 --> 00:25:24.339
because I was blissed out. I had zero anxiety.
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:28.059
I was type A personality before. I was completely
00:25:28.059 --> 00:25:31.559
the opposite when I woke up. There was not a
00:25:31.559 --> 00:25:34.420
care in the world. Everything was wonderful.
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:38.220
Yet, when I got home with my daughter, my mom
00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:41.210
was here. And she helped for a few weeks, and
00:25:41.210 --> 00:25:43.710
she watched me. She let me do things. She watched
00:25:43.710 --> 00:25:46.670
me and made sure I was OK. But she's like, you
00:25:46.670 --> 00:25:49.849
just seem to know what to do, is how she phrased
00:25:49.849 --> 00:25:54.690
it. I worked out of my intuition. That was my
00:25:54.690 --> 00:25:57.349
reference point for doing the next thing that
00:25:57.349 --> 00:26:00.869
I did. I just followed my intuition. I didn't
00:26:00.869 --> 00:26:04.329
see the need for speaking because I felt everybody
00:26:04.329 --> 00:26:07.569
knew what I was feeling. So they would, you know.
00:26:07.789 --> 00:26:10.170
pick up on that. And that's how I communicated.
00:26:10.690 --> 00:26:13.549
And then I slowly, you know, as time went on,
00:26:13.650 --> 00:26:15.930
the weeks went by, and I would wake up and I
00:26:15.930 --> 00:26:19.150
would feel more like the old Krista. I realized
00:26:19.150 --> 00:26:22.609
like, I need to communicate like this or that,
00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:25.769
you know, by speaking it. And they thought maybe
00:26:25.769 --> 00:26:29.289
I had like a problem talking from the event,
00:26:29.529 --> 00:26:32.730
because it was eight minutes without any, any
00:26:32.730 --> 00:26:36.789
intervention. They stopped CPR to deliver my
00:26:36.789 --> 00:26:39.369
daughter and control the bleeding I had. So,
00:26:39.589 --> 00:26:41.250
you know, they thought maybe it was brain damage.
00:26:41.349 --> 00:26:43.250
They weren't sure. They were told I had a 50
00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:45.849
-50 chance of requiring 24 -hour care for the
00:26:45.849 --> 00:26:48.329
rest of my life. They had no idea what kind of
00:26:48.329 --> 00:26:51.130
state I would be in when I came to. But I was
00:26:51.130 --> 00:26:54.950
36 hours intubated in the ICU. And then they
00:26:54.950 --> 00:26:57.430
started to wean me off of the medication that
00:26:57.430 --> 00:26:59.450
they had to sedate me to keep me from pulling
00:26:59.450 --> 00:27:02.440
the tube out. And then... they started to assess
00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:06.480
my functioning. And I had memory issues. I was
00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:10.259
a different personality in terms of my drive,
00:27:10.380 --> 00:27:14.380
my ambition to get things done, which I was very,
00:27:14.380 --> 00:27:17.519
again, type A. I was completely the opposite.
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:21.599
So I think that was a big part of the restructuring.
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:26.759
Not only that, but I have an ability to understand
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:31.559
things from a perspective where I'm not quite
00:27:31.559 --> 00:27:35.440
sure that I would have had otherwise. I used
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:38.519
to, like, you know, get colds and illnesses and
00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:41.940
whatnot and get pretty sick before. I don't now.
00:27:42.259 --> 00:27:45.660
I'm really quite healthy, with the exception
00:27:45.660 --> 00:27:49.319
of a small issue with blood pressure, but that's
00:27:49.319 --> 00:27:52.000
from nine years in the emergency room. I feel
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:57.660
like I became someone that was just genetically...
00:27:57.640 --> 00:28:01.460
I feel like I had like an upgrade almost, like
00:28:01.460 --> 00:28:04.759
a restructuring. I don't feel like a walk -in,
00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:10.039
but I do feel like I am, I don't know, structurally
00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:13.039
like a more sound human, I guess I can say. I
00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:15.579
don't know, it's hard to describe. That is so
00:28:15.579 --> 00:28:18.460
interesting. Most people feel like their personality
00:28:18.460 --> 00:28:23.059
has changed a lot, but physically, that's very
00:28:23.059 --> 00:28:25.980
unusual. That's interesting. I'm going to ask
00:28:25.980 --> 00:28:27.880
you a personal question you don't have to answer
00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:31.099
if you don't want to. Did all of these changes
00:28:31.099 --> 00:28:33.640
have anything to do with your divorce? Because
00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:36.440
you mentioned you have a second husband now.
00:28:37.299 --> 00:28:41.059
Yes, I mean, but I feel like what if I didn't
00:28:41.059 --> 00:28:45.039
have a near -death experience and how would my
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:47.000
first marriage have played out? And I wonder
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:50.299
if we would still be together today, only because
00:28:50.299 --> 00:28:54.640
there were so many external factors. my ex -husband
00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:57.819
was a touring musician, our entire marriage.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:02.839
We met when we were 20 and 21 and grew up together.
00:29:03.220 --> 00:29:06.920
We were married together for 22 years before
00:29:06.920 --> 00:29:10.599
we separated. But I do believe that the acceleration
00:29:10.599 --> 00:29:14.759
of my starting to live my truth within myself,
00:29:14.980 --> 00:29:17.279
because I had still tried to integrate back into
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:19.539
the world, back into this role, like... into
00:29:19.539 --> 00:29:23.220
this role as a PA and Western medicine and all
00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:26.059
of that and just getting along in the world.
00:29:26.259 --> 00:29:29.039
And I just, it didn't feel like it fit. There
00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:33.759
was this like greater sort of calling I had of,
00:29:34.140 --> 00:29:36.119
no, pay attention to this. It's like, it's about
00:29:36.119 --> 00:29:38.920
the love. It's about the love. And I ignored
00:29:38.920 --> 00:29:40.839
that for so many years. And when I finally started
00:29:40.839 --> 00:29:43.819
to focus on just loving myself, coming from that
00:29:43.819 --> 00:29:46.140
point of view, all of my interactions with my
00:29:46.140 --> 00:29:48.460
patients, with my colleagues, with my family,
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:51.640
That's when my ex -husband started to sort of
00:29:51.640 --> 00:29:54.519
go through his own transition in his life. We
00:29:54.519 --> 00:29:56.319
just came to a point where we looked at each
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:59.799
other. We're like really good friends. And we're
00:29:59.799 --> 00:30:02.400
like, you know what? It's probably best if we
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:04.980
live our lives separately. Him and my ex -mother
00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:07.900
-in -law come for holidays and we have our daughter
00:30:07.900 --> 00:30:11.519
together and we all get along. I love him. He's
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:16.259
a great person, but he wasn't my person as time
00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:20.319
went on anymore. I wasn't his so it was just
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:23.839
kind of like okay. Well, let's let's go our separate
00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:26.720
ways and still be really good friends What's
00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:29.460
it like now being married to someone who also
00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:34.039
is an experiencer? Well, it's fabulous because
00:30:34.039 --> 00:30:37.220
well, not only is Ainsley like an amazing person
00:30:37.220 --> 00:30:40.680
human being but he really gets it and we are
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:43.859
on the same sort of I wouldn't say level of understanding
00:30:43.859 --> 00:30:45.380
because it's not like there's higher or lower
00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:48.190
levels. It's just the depth of understanding
00:30:48.190 --> 00:30:52.210
of who we are and why we're here. It's fabulous
00:30:52.210 --> 00:30:56.349
because we can talk about all this stuff. It's
00:30:56.349 --> 00:31:00.990
very comfortable, wonderful, expansive. I'm always
00:31:00.990 --> 00:31:05.049
growing as a person with him. Yeah, it's been
00:31:05.049 --> 00:31:09.430
such a gift. That's awesome. Okay, winding down
00:31:09.430 --> 00:31:13.150
here. A couple last questions. Number one, how
00:31:13.150 --> 00:31:15.690
much fear of death do you have right now? I'm
00:31:15.690 --> 00:31:17.690
not afraid to die at all. I always quote this
00:31:17.690 --> 00:31:20.890
Woody Allen line that he gives. I'm not afraid
00:31:20.890 --> 00:31:22.329
to die. I just don't want to be there when it
00:31:22.329 --> 00:31:25.130
happens. But that's assuming it's going to be
00:31:25.130 --> 00:31:27.309
something horrible. And death is a beautiful
00:31:27.309 --> 00:31:30.210
transition, my gosh. You know, we talk about
00:31:30.210 --> 00:31:33.549
birth, and it's the same for death. And I've
00:31:33.549 --> 00:31:37.309
been in the presence of the time when some of
00:31:37.309 --> 00:31:39.910
my patients have transitioned. And it gives me
00:31:39.910 --> 00:31:42.839
chills just talking about it. I've gone to the
00:31:42.839 --> 00:31:44.839
other side and come back. It's like, it's still,
00:31:44.900 --> 00:31:49.099
it is a, it is a gorgeous, gorgeous process.
00:31:49.640 --> 00:31:55.119
And I, I hope that I am in a place when I do
00:31:55.119 --> 00:32:00.720
transition where I am with my family, because
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.160
I would love to just have that moment where I
00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:07.700
get to say, bye, I'll see you on the other side.
00:32:08.089 --> 00:32:10.690
But I've never really gone so, you know, watch
00:32:10.690 --> 00:32:12.970
out for me. I'll still be visiting and letting
00:32:12.970 --> 00:32:16.690
you know I'm around It'd be great to be in that
00:32:16.690 --> 00:32:20.529
much control Yeah, when you transition over to
00:32:20.529 --> 00:32:22.829
know here it comes so I can say the very very
00:32:22.829 --> 00:32:26.670
last things smile Take a step through that door
00:32:26.670 --> 00:32:30.369
Yeah Yeah, how do we bottle that up? That'd be
00:32:30.369 --> 00:32:33.910
a good one. Lastly for those that maybe need
00:32:33.910 --> 00:32:37.480
a little bit of a Oh, just a message of hope
00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:39.920
today. They don't know whether they should believe
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:41.819
in the afterlife or not. What do you have to
00:32:41.819 --> 00:32:45.359
say to them? Well, I can just share from my experience
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:48.819
that we don't ever really die. We transition
00:32:48.819 --> 00:32:51.460
form. We just move from one state of energy to
00:32:51.460 --> 00:32:55.880
another. What we leave behind is this temporal
00:32:55.880 --> 00:32:59.839
existence where everything is transitory and
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:03.740
we go to another realm, whatever we choose, and
00:33:03.740 --> 00:33:06.609
we get to experience what we experience there.
00:33:06.990 --> 00:33:09.690
We have free will. We have the ability to choose.
00:33:10.230 --> 00:33:15.069
We do get to experience the things that we imagine
00:33:15.069 --> 00:33:21.029
death is like, because our expectations and our
00:33:21.029 --> 00:33:25.170
beliefs, they do play a part in our experience.
00:33:25.230 --> 00:33:29.829
For me, it was law of attraction in action, my
00:33:29.829 --> 00:33:32.849
entire NDE. That was the overarching energy with
00:33:32.849 --> 00:33:35.720
love. Krista, thank you a ton for being with
00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:38.799
me today. I appreciate it. Thank you. This is
00:33:38.799 --> 00:33:43.299
great. Thanks again for listening and sharing
00:33:43.299 --> 00:33:45.599
this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:48.480
or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:51.299
at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share
00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:54.079
your near -death experience, or if you have questions
00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:56.779
or comments about the show, send an email to
00:33:56.779 --> 00:34:00.259
eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish
00:34:00.259 --> 00:34:02.140
you everything good that you're looking for in
00:34:02.140 --> 00:34:03.799
this life and the next.
00:00:03.710 --> 00:00:06.730
From the time that they pronounced me dead was
00:00:06.730 --> 00:00:10.210
a good 45 minutes. They cut my clothes and then
00:00:10.210 --> 00:00:13.449
they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped and
00:00:13.449 --> 00:00:16.609
I could see people screaming and crying but I
00:00:16.609 --> 00:00:18.589
didn't realize that was actually my physical
00:00:18.589 --> 00:00:22.010
body because I was somewhere else. The only thing
00:00:22.010 --> 00:00:25.390
that I could feel if you could imagine absolute
00:00:25.390 --> 00:00:28.510
love and peace, there wasn't anything else to
00:00:28.510 --> 00:00:31.600
be felt. I was greeted by people I'd known in
00:00:31.600 --> 00:00:35.079
the past. I'm back home again. Incredibly safe
00:00:35.079 --> 00:00:40.179
and felt at home. Welcome, welcome to Round Trip
00:00:40.179 --> 00:00:43.439
Death, everybody. And a warm welcome to our special
00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:46.859
guest, Krista Gorman, coming to us from Florida.
00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:49.799
Good morning. How are you? Good morning. I'm
00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:52.799
great. How are you? I'm doing so well. What's
00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:55.920
it like in Florida today? It's very windy, sunny,
00:00:56.539 --> 00:00:59.429
but very windy. and just a little bit chilly,
00:00:59.750 --> 00:01:03.530
which is nice. What does chilly mean? Because
00:01:03.530 --> 00:01:07.510
we still have snow around here. Well, with the
00:01:07.510 --> 00:01:11.670
wind blowing, it's probably in the low 60s. Oh,
00:01:12.189 --> 00:01:16.609
sorry, not making fun. Before we jump into your
00:01:16.609 --> 00:01:19.390
NDE, which people are going to love. Great story
00:01:19.390 --> 00:01:21.870
coming up, everybody. Tell us just a little bit
00:01:21.870 --> 00:01:24.810
about you. Who's Krista? Oh, wow. Wow, that's
00:01:24.810 --> 00:01:29.590
a loaded question. Well, Krista is a healthcare
00:01:29.590 --> 00:01:32.969
provider. I work as a PA. I've been a PA for
00:01:32.969 --> 00:01:36.090
25 years. My near -death experience happened
00:01:36.090 --> 00:01:38.450
just three weeks after I graduated PA school.
00:01:38.890 --> 00:01:41.010
My entire career has been spent with this sort
00:01:41.010 --> 00:01:45.150
of like base knowledge, understanding of the
00:01:45.150 --> 00:01:48.370
transition of death and what that sort of entailed
00:01:48.370 --> 00:01:51.450
for me anyway. I was able to incorporate that
00:01:51.450 --> 00:01:55.109
into my practice to a certain extent. But yeah,
00:01:55.189 --> 00:01:58.769
I married. My husband Ainsley Threadgold is also
00:01:58.769 --> 00:02:02.269
a near -death experiencer and a police officer.
00:02:02.769 --> 00:02:05.409
And we have a, I have a stepdaughter, his daughter,
00:02:05.409 --> 00:02:08.849
and I have a daughter through my previous marriage
00:02:08.849 --> 00:02:12.389
who was born three weeks after I graduated PA
00:02:12.389 --> 00:02:16.930
school. Okay. And that has to do with your NDE.
00:02:17.289 --> 00:02:21.520
I'm curious first, You mentioned that you've
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:25.580
somehow involved this in your practice. Yes.
00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:30.520
Have you had patients that have had NDEs or tell
00:02:30.520 --> 00:02:33.719
me what you meant by that? I have actually met
00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:36.659
some patients who have shared with me without
00:02:36.659 --> 00:02:39.960
me soliciting that information from them that
00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:43.680
they had NDEs. But no, my near -death experience
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:47.840
just transformed me so fundamentally that about
00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:51.680
a third of the way into my career, I sort of
00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:55.159
came to a point where I was in a sort of desperate
00:02:55.159 --> 00:02:59.979
need of healing my life. And I used my near -death
00:02:59.979 --> 00:03:04.599
experience as the blueprint for healing. And
00:03:04.599 --> 00:03:07.939
in the process of that, found a new sort of state
00:03:07.939 --> 00:03:12.300
of being where I could be. far, far, far more
00:03:12.300 --> 00:03:15.680
present with my patients and far more open to
00:03:15.680 --> 00:03:19.520
receiving information from them. And it just
00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:22.900
really, it assisted me, assisted them in my caring
00:03:22.900 --> 00:03:25.900
for them. How have other healthcare providers
00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:28.919
reacted when you told them about your experience?
00:03:29.280 --> 00:03:31.979
I had a physician I worked with in the emergency
00:03:31.979 --> 00:03:35.659
room who was Catholic, and I was raised Catholic,
00:03:35.699 --> 00:03:39.479
but she came from that point of view. practicing
00:03:39.479 --> 00:03:43.539
Catholic, and she sort of stared at me as I was
00:03:43.539 --> 00:03:47.560
telling her the story, shaking her head, saying,
00:03:47.659 --> 00:03:50.639
you shouldn't be here. She's like, I mean it,
00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:53.280
like you really shouldn't be here. I kind of
00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:56.680
laugh because the medical emergencies that I
00:03:56.680 --> 00:03:59.759
was involved in were significant, and I lived
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:01.800
through them. So that's kind of the point of
00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:05.199
view. She was in amazement. And then the experience
00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:13.699
itself, she was also in amazement of. I didn't
00:04:13.699 --> 00:04:15.740
widely share it with my colleagues because they
00:04:15.740 --> 00:04:20.639
come from a scientific, very rigid thinking,
00:04:21.339 --> 00:04:25.120
egocentric, which is completely the opposite
00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:28.899
of the experience itself, the polarity of who
00:04:28.899 --> 00:04:32.660
I am really as a person. In the Western medical
00:04:32.660 --> 00:04:36.100
fields and in Western medicine in general, I
00:04:36.100 --> 00:04:39.540
sort of didn't share my NDE a lot, but with those
00:04:39.540 --> 00:04:42.660
that I did share it with, they were pretty floored.
00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:45.879
But in a positive way or did they not believe
00:04:45.879 --> 00:04:47.920
you? In a positive way. If they didn't believe
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:50.339
me, they didn't share that with me. And, you
00:04:50.339 --> 00:04:54.360
know, I've had just in casual conversations with
00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:57.560
others who work in the medical field. Sometimes
00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:00.019
there'd be like the nod of, oh, yeah, that's
00:05:00.019 --> 00:05:03.959
interesting. And that's even at IAAMS, you know,
00:05:04.019 --> 00:05:08.259
participating at IAAMS. Sometimes the scientists
00:05:08.259 --> 00:05:11.839
there are not there for the sharing love and
00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:15.519
light. They're there for sharing data and facts.
00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:18.480
And it's hard for them to see beyond that sometimes.
00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:22.579
It almost seems though, like, if they're at IAAMS,
00:05:22.660 --> 00:05:25.259
they must at least sort of believe it or what
00:05:25.259 --> 00:05:28.319
are they even doing there? Yeah, I feel that
00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:31.310
too. I haven't actually gotten into an in -depth
00:05:31.310 --> 00:05:35.410
discussion asking questions about that in particular.
00:05:35.769 --> 00:05:40.829
It's just been my experience to a point, to an
00:05:40.829 --> 00:05:43.069
extent, and it's not all of them. I think that
00:05:43.069 --> 00:05:45.769
just points to the deeper aspects of ourselves
00:05:45.769 --> 00:05:51.350
that we are. We wear the suit of a scientist,
00:05:51.910 --> 00:05:54.970
yet we are this infinite being. that is on some
00:05:54.970 --> 00:05:57.149
level, whether it's conscious or unconscious,
00:05:57.589 --> 00:06:01.930
in touch with that realm from which we all emanate,
00:06:02.529 --> 00:06:05.750
where collectively we all exist still. And I
00:06:05.750 --> 00:06:07.949
believe, this is my understanding and my belief
00:06:07.949 --> 00:06:11.490
and my experience, is that we here incarnate
00:06:11.490 --> 00:06:13.910
in these physical bodies. We are only partially
00:06:13.910 --> 00:06:16.649
incarnated in these bodies. There's still a greater
00:06:16.649 --> 00:06:18.970
part of ourselves that exists in the collective,
00:06:19.709 --> 00:06:23.920
in union with all other beings, creatures. that
00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:27.220
source of energy information is that highest
00:06:27.220 --> 00:06:30.560
vibration, and we can get in touch with that
00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:34.120
if we choose to or are able to allow ourselves
00:06:34.120 --> 00:06:36.220
to. And that's part of what you learned during
00:06:36.220 --> 00:06:40.579
your NDE? Yes, and what I've concretely experienced
00:06:40.579 --> 00:06:43.399
afterwards, and even before, you know, looking
00:06:43.399 --> 00:06:47.120
back in my life. But yes, that's something that
00:06:47.120 --> 00:06:51.040
was gleaned from my NDE. Let's jump into that
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:54.730
part right now. People are in suspense. Now we're
00:06:54.730 --> 00:06:56.870
going back quite a few years and you mentioned
00:06:56.870 --> 00:07:00.029
childbirth, which is when this happened. Did
00:07:00.029 --> 00:07:02.970
you have any complications leading up to it that
00:07:02.970 --> 00:07:05.110
made you think that maybe you were going to have
00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:08.230
some big issues during childbirth? No, I didn't,
00:07:08.350 --> 00:07:11.009
you know, but I did have a precognition, which
00:07:11.009 --> 00:07:13.850
was interesting. So what happened with me was
00:07:13.850 --> 00:07:15.910
I was a PA student. I was in my last year of
00:07:15.910 --> 00:07:18.709
PA school, the very end of my PA training. I'm
00:07:18.709 --> 00:07:22.149
ready to graduate. And I had had a 20 -week ultrasound
00:07:22.149 --> 00:07:26.110
where it showed my daughter's kidney. She had
00:07:26.110 --> 00:07:29.550
a lot of fluid in her kidney. They were concerned
00:07:29.550 --> 00:07:32.910
about it as I approached the end of my pregnancy
00:07:32.910 --> 00:07:36.009
and said, we can induce you a week early and
00:07:36.009 --> 00:07:39.370
get her evaluated sooner to make sure that that
00:07:39.370 --> 00:07:43.509
kidney is OK. So my scientific PA brain said,
00:07:43.569 --> 00:07:46.329
oh, absolutely, let's do that. And my higher
00:07:46.329 --> 00:07:49.160
self sort of for just a brief moment was like,
00:07:49.540 --> 00:07:54.180
no, that's not necessary. It's okay. But I overrode
00:07:54.180 --> 00:07:58.899
it with my ego mind and let the fear, the concern
00:07:58.899 --> 00:08:01.879
sort of take over and agreed to the induction.
00:08:02.600 --> 00:08:06.300
Well, when a mother -to -be is induced, they
00:08:06.300 --> 00:08:08.339
give a medication called Pitocin, which causes
00:08:08.339 --> 00:08:13.000
very significant abnormally strong uterine contractions.
00:08:13.259 --> 00:08:16.649
And I knew that as a student. I completed an
00:08:16.649 --> 00:08:20.230
OB -GYN rotation and helped deliver babies. And
00:08:20.230 --> 00:08:24.230
I understood the process of induction. And I
00:08:24.230 --> 00:08:26.209
also understood that there's complications from
00:08:26.209 --> 00:08:30.310
induction, one of which is distress, significant
00:08:30.310 --> 00:08:32.549
distress on the baby that would lead to a cesarean
00:08:32.549 --> 00:08:35.830
section. And I wanted to avoid that at all costs,
00:08:35.830 --> 00:08:38.210
but at the same time, I wanted to make sure that
00:08:38.210 --> 00:08:41.889
my baby was okay. I agreed to the induction,
00:08:42.029 --> 00:08:47.289
started it after many hours. Overnight, I had
00:08:47.289 --> 00:08:51.809
not progressed very far in labor, and my daughter
00:08:51.809 --> 00:08:54.289
showed signs of distress, significant enough
00:08:54.289 --> 00:08:57.629
to require an emergency C -section. And I knew
00:08:57.629 --> 00:09:00.110
that the minute I saw the tracing on the monitor.
00:09:00.649 --> 00:09:03.470
They were putting an internal monitor on her
00:09:03.470 --> 00:09:07.070
scalp, and she, this is my guess, she reflects,
00:09:07.169 --> 00:09:10.250
she kicks so hard at the pain from it, which
00:09:10.250 --> 00:09:12.090
they say babies don't feel it, but I believe
00:09:12.090 --> 00:09:14.950
that's untrue. She kicked so hard she kicked
00:09:14.950 --> 00:09:17.710
the amniotic fluid into my bloodstream. So that
00:09:17.710 --> 00:09:20.889
caused my body to mount an allergic reaction
00:09:20.889 --> 00:09:23.690
to it because it's not supposed to mix. That's
00:09:23.690 --> 00:09:27.169
what the placenta is for. She kicked so hard
00:09:27.169 --> 00:09:29.389
that she pushed the amniotic fluid into my system
00:09:29.389 --> 00:09:31.529
and right away I started having trouble breathing
00:09:31.529 --> 00:09:34.690
and very quickly decompensated, cardiopulmonary
00:09:34.690 --> 00:09:38.970
wise, and I coded. They lost my pulse for eight
00:09:38.970 --> 00:09:42.889
minutes. During that time, what I recall is being
00:09:42.889 --> 00:09:45.750
unable to catch my breath, them turning me on
00:09:45.750 --> 00:09:48.789
my left side, and that helps pump the heart pump
00:09:48.789 --> 00:09:51.909
blood more efficiently to the baby and to your
00:09:51.909 --> 00:09:54.690
body. They put oxygen on my face and started
00:09:54.690 --> 00:09:56.470
to wheel me out of the room. By the time they
00:09:56.470 --> 00:09:59.049
got me out the door into the hallway between
00:09:59.049 --> 00:10:01.649
my room and the delivery room, the operating
00:10:01.649 --> 00:10:06.669
room, I remember my vision just sort of closing,
00:10:06.970 --> 00:10:10.470
sort of like the tunnel is closing, and this
00:10:10.470 --> 00:10:13.299
feeling of. divine peace just come over me, sort
00:10:13.299 --> 00:10:18.039
of over my head to the front, and I lost my vision.
00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:20.019
I don't know if I closed my eyes or not, but
00:10:20.019 --> 00:10:24.299
I was out. And the next point of awareness I
00:10:24.299 --> 00:10:29.679
had was of looking down, being far above a body,
00:10:30.179 --> 00:10:32.899
looking down and watching black particles come
00:10:32.899 --> 00:10:37.120
racing up to where my vision was. And I was sort
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:40.600
of surrounded by this undulating, static cloud.
00:10:41.179 --> 00:10:45.200
and I was completely neutral. I didn't have any
00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.960
concept of the self or of what I was witnessing
00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:51.399
below. I didn't have any names for anything,
00:10:51.740 --> 00:10:54.340
any identification of what any of it was. I didn't
00:10:54.340 --> 00:10:57.879
know that I had been a human in a body. I was
00:10:57.879 --> 00:11:01.399
just pure consciousness, but I could see. I watched
00:11:01.399 --> 00:11:04.299
another physician come in the room. I watched
00:11:04.299 --> 00:11:06.379
them deliver my daughter. Of course, I didn't
00:11:06.379 --> 00:11:08.240
know that this was a physician, that that was
00:11:08.240 --> 00:11:10.600
my daughter. None of it. These were human beings.
00:11:10.860 --> 00:11:13.480
and I saw somebody take her and turn around,
00:11:13.740 --> 00:11:15.799
and I couldn't see what was going on. And I was
00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:18.840
just curious. I felt this intense curiosity,
00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:21.820
like, oh, I want to know more about this. And
00:11:21.820 --> 00:11:24.220
so I moved to the other side of the room. I saw
00:11:24.220 --> 00:11:27.340
someone to my left shoulder threading something
00:11:27.340 --> 00:11:31.620
into my chest, which I found out was they put
00:11:31.620 --> 00:11:36.500
a Swans Gantz catheter in my pulmonary circulation
00:11:36.500 --> 00:11:38.799
so they could measure for pulmonary hypertension.
00:11:39.179 --> 00:11:42.529
I recall feeling more and more curious, like
00:11:42.529 --> 00:11:45.049
that feeling was intensifying. And then I felt
00:11:45.049 --> 00:11:49.509
something pull to my left and I resisted it because
00:11:49.509 --> 00:11:52.549
I wanted to find out what was going on and it
00:11:52.549 --> 00:11:55.750
pulled harder. I just knew it wasn't going to
00:11:55.750 --> 00:11:58.629
take me unless I wanted to go and it really wanted
00:11:58.629 --> 00:12:02.610
me to go. And so I just agreed. I just felt,
00:12:02.610 --> 00:12:05.909
okay, I'll go. And then I started to move to
00:12:05.909 --> 00:12:09.090
the left super fast. I went through the wall.
00:12:09.190 --> 00:12:12.419
There was like this sort of undulating off white
00:12:12.419 --> 00:12:16.480
wall with wallpaper border and into this white
00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.039
space that was just a flash of bright, bright
00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:22.620
white. And then I moved through another sort
00:12:22.620 --> 00:12:26.379
of opening into this dense particulate matter
00:12:26.379 --> 00:12:29.620
that I was. I was sort of like reabsorbed in
00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:33.019
this space and I was moving imperceptibly fast.
00:12:33.580 --> 00:12:36.779
And again, still just quite neutral and just
00:12:36.779 --> 00:12:41.289
like, oh, interested in what was going on, curious
00:12:41.289 --> 00:12:45.129
a bit, and I looked to my left and the side looked
00:12:45.129 --> 00:12:47.970
like dense particles and then at some points
00:12:47.970 --> 00:12:50.289
it would be sort of liquidy, gray, white, black,
00:12:50.529 --> 00:12:52.929
and then turned back into the dense particles.
00:12:53.350 --> 00:12:57.330
Then I turned and I stopped and there was this
00:12:57.330 --> 00:12:59.389
download that I received. It was sort of like
00:12:59.389 --> 00:13:02.269
a funnel of information and all came to one point
00:13:02.269 --> 00:13:05.289
in front of me. It was as if, and this is the
00:13:05.289 --> 00:13:07.690
best way that I can describe it, it was as if
00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:09.879
All the questions I'd ever had in my life were
00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:13.639
answered in sort of this instant of this information.
00:13:14.220 --> 00:13:17.039
And that one point was love. Love was the answer
00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:21.080
to everything. At that second, I felt permeated
00:13:21.080 --> 00:13:25.179
with this divine, blissful love. It was ecstatic.
00:13:25.399 --> 00:13:28.519
It was everything. It was everything I'd ever
00:13:28.519 --> 00:13:32.139
need, ever wanted, ever desired. I could exist
00:13:32.139 --> 00:13:36.370
there eternally and be completely content. Okay,
00:13:36.509 --> 00:13:39.090
let's pause there for a second. I want to ask
00:13:39.090 --> 00:13:41.629
some questions about what's happened so far.
00:13:42.330 --> 00:13:44.629
So hold your train of thought. We were talking
00:13:44.629 --> 00:13:49.409
about love. I don't get that the black particles
00:13:49.409 --> 00:13:52.250
that you said as you were looking down were rising.
00:13:52.669 --> 00:13:54.250
That's something I don't think I've heard before.
00:13:54.309 --> 00:13:57.409
Tell me a little bit more about that. The best
00:13:57.409 --> 00:14:00.990
way to describe them were like little tiny black
00:14:00.990 --> 00:14:04.129
dots and they were coming from the body below.
00:14:04.320 --> 00:14:07.299
The majority of them were from the chest area,
00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:09.320
but there were some from the head and some from
00:14:09.320 --> 00:14:14.100
the gut. And they all just moved on their own
00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:18.259
in sort of like unison up to where my vision
00:14:18.259 --> 00:14:21.679
was, where I could see. But I was not anything.
00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:26.679
I was not in any physical form. I was just there.
00:14:26.820 --> 00:14:31.679
I was just energy. I believe that, well, I'll
00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:34.320
sort of say this at this point. My near -death
00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:38.820
experience was created by me, by my consciousness,
00:14:39.379 --> 00:14:43.519
and by universal consciousness source, God, whatever
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:47.679
you want to call it, in unison, in tandem, in
00:14:47.679 --> 00:14:52.440
working with one another, in order for me to
00:14:52.440 --> 00:14:57.200
have this experience so that I could come back
00:14:57.200 --> 00:15:00.759
here to the body, sort of grow as a human in
00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:05.690
this body from it. and then share with the world
00:15:05.690 --> 00:15:10.909
what it was that I experienced in the efforts
00:15:10.909 --> 00:15:15.029
or the ultimate goal of helping humanity in some
00:15:15.029 --> 00:15:18.250
way. You mentioned being pulled from, I think
00:15:18.250 --> 00:15:21.690
it was from your left side by it. What's the
00:15:21.690 --> 00:15:27.529
it? It was a force. couldn't identify it, didn't
00:15:27.529 --> 00:15:29.909
have a desire to identify it, didn't matter what
00:15:29.909 --> 00:15:33.289
it was, but it was a force greater than my desire
00:15:33.289 --> 00:15:38.370
to stay. It was something that, it felt neutral,
00:15:38.629 --> 00:15:42.490
but it felt strong. I call it intuitive feeling,
00:15:42.690 --> 00:15:46.110
but I was just pure consciousness. So it was
00:15:46.110 --> 00:15:49.250
just my consciousness understood without having
00:15:49.250 --> 00:15:52.990
to have a human explanation for all of it that
00:15:52.990 --> 00:15:55.879
I needed to go. And I would love to know more
00:15:55.879 --> 00:15:59.159
about the download of info. I have a guess, the
00:15:59.159 --> 00:16:01.460
question that I'm going to ask, I think I know
00:16:01.460 --> 00:16:05.639
the answer already, but do you know everything
00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:08.179
that was downloaded to you? Do you remember all
00:16:08.179 --> 00:16:10.919
of it? You said the answer is to all your questions.
00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:16.059
Yeah. No, I don't. The one thing that I guess
00:16:16.059 --> 00:16:20.820
stood out was there's absolutely a higher reason,
00:16:20.899 --> 00:16:24.620
purpose for absolutely everything. It doesn't
00:16:24.620 --> 00:16:26.759
matter what you're talking about. That's the
00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.259
one thing I already knew going in. I already
00:16:29.259 --> 00:16:32.360
understood that, but that confirmed it for me.
00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:36.539
That's just one example. And I feel like in all
00:16:36.539 --> 00:16:39.980
the years that I've lived back in this body again,
00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:44.120
in this life, in this world, I've come to understand
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:48.740
the things that I know intuitively to be true.
00:16:49.240 --> 00:16:54.519
I believe I feel came from that experience that
00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:58.440
download. So I mean, that's where for me, intuition
00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:02.620
is the highest form of sort of checking to see
00:17:02.620 --> 00:17:05.599
if something is right or wrong for me. It's all
00:17:05.599 --> 00:17:09.519
about how I feel. I believe my DNA was restructured
00:17:09.519 --> 00:17:14.259
during my experience. Wow. Part of that restructuring
00:17:14.259 --> 00:17:18.519
was this sort of information that I have and
00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:21.839
it's helped guide me in my life and helps me
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:26.200
to not get upset about politics and the state
00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:29.460
of the world and all of that because there's
00:17:29.460 --> 00:17:32.559
much bigger things at play here. Yeah, it just
00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:35.299
doesn't matter as much as we think it does. Okay,
00:17:35.319 --> 00:17:38.440
let's get back to where you were. You were talking
00:17:38.440 --> 00:17:42.099
about love being the answer to everything. Explain
00:17:42.099 --> 00:17:45.660
and keep moving on from there. Okay. Love, love
00:17:45.660 --> 00:17:48.039
is it. It doesn't matter again what we're talking
00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:52.819
about. Everything is love in its various forms.
00:17:53.140 --> 00:17:55.759
For me, I can choose to see that or I don't have
00:17:55.759 --> 00:17:58.660
to see it. I can choose to be in my ego and see
00:17:58.660 --> 00:18:01.900
things as separate as not love. In that state
00:18:01.900 --> 00:18:04.779
I was in, it was just everything all encompassed.
00:18:04.779 --> 00:18:07.579
And I felt like when I felt that love, I felt
00:18:07.579 --> 00:18:12.240
the eternity of it, the infiniteness of it. It's
00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:15.900
timeless, boundless. and it expanded everywhere.
00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.519
I expanded out with it everywhere, in all directions,
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:23.539
eternally. There was no end to me, or to it.
00:18:23.980 --> 00:18:26.640
Quickly after that, there was a light off to
00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:29.279
my right, a little dot of a white light. It was
00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:31.220
drawing me to it, it wanted me to come to it,
00:18:31.220 --> 00:18:33.000
so I started to move in that direction. As I
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:37.440
got closer, the light became bigger and more
00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:39.819
of a circle, and it was sort of like a cloudy
00:18:39.819 --> 00:18:43.069
opening. And in the opening there were these
00:18:43.069 --> 00:18:46.349
shadow beings there. And in the front was a shadow
00:18:46.349 --> 00:18:49.890
being of a little boy. And what I could make
00:18:49.890 --> 00:18:54.109
out was he had overalls on and a, like a straw
00:18:54.109 --> 00:18:58.190
hat with a wide brim and he needed my help. So
00:18:58.190 --> 00:19:00.730
I wanted to help him. I started to move into
00:19:00.730 --> 00:19:03.369
that space. And as I moved into the opening,
00:19:03.549 --> 00:19:05.829
all the shadow beings, the taller ones, like
00:19:05.829 --> 00:19:08.869
I call them adults, but the taller shadow beings
00:19:08.869 --> 00:19:11.819
sort of fanned out. on my left, like in a line.
00:19:12.420 --> 00:19:15.619
And I went to what felt like the center of the
00:19:15.619 --> 00:19:17.779
space, and it was still like a misty, cloudy
00:19:17.779 --> 00:19:22.640
atmosphere. And I felt all of these shadow beings
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:25.619
needed my help, wanted my help, wanted me to
00:19:25.619 --> 00:19:28.839
help them. And I felt, yes, I want to help you
00:19:28.839 --> 00:19:32.539
all. And they started to come at me at that point
00:19:32.539 --> 00:19:35.000
and dart away, come at me and dart away from
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:38.579
all directions. And what I quickly realized was
00:19:38.579 --> 00:19:40.779
that they were actually, they wanted my energy.
00:19:41.140 --> 00:19:45.220
They wanted me, not just my help, but they wanted
00:19:45.220 --> 00:19:48.380
me. I started to feel like I was diminishing
00:19:48.380 --> 00:19:51.339
there. And if I had stayed, I would have just
00:19:51.339 --> 00:19:54.779
given, almost given myself away to all of these
00:19:54.779 --> 00:19:58.220
entities that needed me, needed my energy and
00:19:58.220 --> 00:20:01.599
sacrificed myself. And I chose, no, I want to
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:05.880
leave now. And it wasn't scary. It wasn't frightening
00:20:05.880 --> 00:20:08.819
in any way. It was completely neutral. As soon
00:20:08.819 --> 00:20:11.259
as I felt I wanted to go, I wanted to leave,
00:20:11.539 --> 00:20:13.819
I was pulled out of there, again, to the left.
00:20:14.299 --> 00:20:17.359
Pulled out, back in the dense particle space.
00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:21.799
That was very brief flash moment. And then I
00:20:21.799 --> 00:20:23.519
went through a less distinct opening. It was
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:26.900
more particulate matter, circular again, but
00:20:26.900 --> 00:20:29.279
then I merged through it into this gorgeous Eden.
00:20:29.549 --> 00:20:33.670
scene with rolling green hills and a rock waterfall
00:20:33.670 --> 00:20:37.170
and dense evergreen forest and just beautiful
00:20:37.170 --> 00:20:39.690
yellow flowers span out in front of me and it
00:20:39.690 --> 00:20:42.549
was just absolutely gorgeous and I merged with
00:20:42.549 --> 00:20:45.450
all of it. It was as if I merged with all of
00:20:45.450 --> 00:20:48.509
nature. I became the flowers and the trees and
00:20:48.509 --> 00:20:52.190
the water and the rocks and the sky, grass. It
00:20:52.190 --> 00:20:54.970
was bliss, again, still blissful, blissful feeling,
00:20:55.150 --> 00:20:57.869
blissful love. And then I was flanked on both
00:20:57.869 --> 00:21:03.609
sides. By these tall beige drapey kind of humanoid
00:21:03.609 --> 00:21:06.130
figures. They didn't really have faces They just
00:21:06.130 --> 00:21:09.890
I felt them and they were feeling to me and what
00:21:09.890 --> 00:21:13.210
they felt to me was you can stay here You can
00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:15.829
go to what comes beyond this or you can go back
00:21:15.829 --> 00:21:18.730
after I left my body I didn't have any concept
00:21:18.730 --> 00:21:22.390
of my human life any memory. No, I didn't have
00:21:22.390 --> 00:21:26.730
an identity as Christa. I was still my consciousness
00:21:26.730 --> 00:21:30.819
without a name for a moment paused, because I
00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:33.279
could have stayed in this Eden, too, eternally.
00:21:33.539 --> 00:21:35.819
Didn't know why I was choosing, but I chose to
00:21:35.819 --> 00:21:38.839
go back. As soon as I felt that, back to these
00:21:38.839 --> 00:21:42.039
beings, I started to move backwards. And they
00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:44.619
turned, as I was moving, they turned and communicated
00:21:44.619 --> 00:21:47.220
to me, well, if you go back, you need to share
00:21:47.220 --> 00:21:49.859
what you learned here. And I agreed. The next
00:21:49.859 --> 00:21:55.180
thing I knew, I was waking up in the ICU. Wow,
00:21:55.180 --> 00:21:57.730
that's really cool. That's a lot. One thing that
00:21:57.730 --> 00:22:00.069
I don't understand, and I'm sure you've thought
00:22:00.069 --> 00:22:02.029
about it, so maybe you can explain it to me,
00:22:02.309 --> 00:22:05.990
is if you didn't feel an attachment to that body
00:22:05.990 --> 00:22:09.650
or even that that was Krista, why did you choose
00:22:09.650 --> 00:22:12.289
to go back, do you think? Well, I think it's
00:22:12.289 --> 00:22:16.170
not just one thing. It's sort of like a multitude
00:22:16.170 --> 00:22:20.109
of things. I believe that I chose to come back
00:22:20.109 --> 00:22:24.470
to the life I was in and continue that life as
00:22:24.470 --> 00:22:28.640
the Krista. that I was for the most part. And
00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:31.940
part of that reason for coming back was that
00:22:31.940 --> 00:22:34.779
all of my family wanted me back. I don't know
00:22:34.779 --> 00:22:36.960
if Maggie did, my daughter, because, you know,
00:22:36.980 --> 00:22:40.099
she was just born, but she probably had, on some
00:22:40.099 --> 00:22:42.579
level, had a desire for her mother. All of that
00:22:42.579 --> 00:22:47.539
energy pulling me back, I believe, did contribute
00:22:47.539 --> 00:22:50.920
to that choice on some, you know, some level.
00:22:51.210 --> 00:22:55.329
You know, I'm so grateful. I chose to come back
00:22:55.329 --> 00:22:59.609
because this life has had its ups and downs in
00:22:59.609 --> 00:23:02.210
the human form, but it's been pretty, pretty
00:23:02.210 --> 00:23:04.670
amazing. And I want to hear a lot more about
00:23:04.670 --> 00:23:07.690
what you've learned and how you've applied that
00:23:07.690 --> 00:23:11.430
since then. But one last thing, what you termed
00:23:11.430 --> 00:23:14.329
as the Eden scene. Could you give us any bit
00:23:14.329 --> 00:23:17.349
more detail about that? What did it look like,
00:23:17.509 --> 00:23:21.180
feel like, smell like? Oh, okay. Well, it felt
00:23:21.180 --> 00:23:24.940
completely blissful. It felt completely perfect.
00:23:25.579 --> 00:23:28.779
The colors were very bright, brighter than normal,
00:23:28.940 --> 00:23:33.160
but not excessive. I didn't have any sense of
00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:37.900
smells or sound in my experience. I just felt
00:23:37.900 --> 00:23:44.420
in unity with all of nature, all of the elements.
00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:50.069
I was it, and it was me. There was no disconnect
00:23:50.069 --> 00:23:53.809
there. We were fluidly like a part of one another.
00:23:54.289 --> 00:23:57.170
All of the trees and grass and flowers and water
00:23:57.170 --> 00:24:00.609
and rocks and sky and sun. Everybody that has
00:24:00.609 --> 00:24:04.109
an NDE comes back changed, but not everybody
00:24:04.109 --> 00:24:07.349
describes it as having their DNA actually changed.
00:24:08.069 --> 00:24:10.650
Describe that a little bit and some of the changes
00:24:10.650 --> 00:24:15.279
that you felt after. Okay, so before I... I had
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:18.660
my daughter. I had taken my bores as a PA, graduated,
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:20.880
officially graduated PA school at the end of
00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:24.960
June. I had her in July. And I was all about
00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:29.059
the science, all about knowing absolutely everything
00:24:29.059 --> 00:24:33.160
so that I could best help my patients. I prided
00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:37.059
myself on the facts. You know, I knew, I just
00:24:37.059 --> 00:24:39.779
knew it all. And I was like really proud of myself
00:24:39.779 --> 00:24:42.259
and knew I was going to do a great job and I
00:24:42.259 --> 00:24:44.420
couldn't wait to start taking care of people.
00:24:44.569 --> 00:24:49.509
After I came back, I didn't remember that I was
00:24:49.509 --> 00:24:52.430
a P .A. student. I didn't remember I'd graduated.
00:24:52.789 --> 00:24:55.529
I didn't even remember I had had a baby. I didn't
00:24:55.529 --> 00:24:58.930
remember my pregnancy. So there was that sort
00:24:58.930 --> 00:25:03.769
of lag in recovery of my brain functioning. It
00:25:03.769 --> 00:25:06.849
was sort of like I liken it to layers of an onion
00:25:06.849 --> 00:25:11.029
being peeled where it reveals more and more each
00:25:11.029 --> 00:25:14.539
time you peel a layer. And for me, that tended
00:25:14.539 --> 00:25:17.880
to happen after sleeping. I would wake up and
00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:21.180
I would feel a little bit more like the old Krista
00:25:21.180 --> 00:25:24.339
because I was blissed out. I had zero anxiety.
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:28.059
I was type A personality before. I was completely
00:25:28.059 --> 00:25:31.559
the opposite when I woke up. There was not a
00:25:31.559 --> 00:25:34.420
care in the world. Everything was wonderful.
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:38.220
Yet, when I got home with my daughter, my mom
00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:41.210
was here. And she helped for a few weeks, and
00:25:41.210 --> 00:25:43.710
she watched me. She let me do things. She watched
00:25:43.710 --> 00:25:46.670
me and made sure I was OK. But she's like, you
00:25:46.670 --> 00:25:49.849
just seem to know what to do, is how she phrased
00:25:49.849 --> 00:25:54.690
it. I worked out of my intuition. That was my
00:25:54.690 --> 00:25:57.349
reference point for doing the next thing that
00:25:57.349 --> 00:26:00.869
I did. I just followed my intuition. I didn't
00:26:00.869 --> 00:26:04.329
see the need for speaking because I felt everybody
00:26:04.329 --> 00:26:07.569
knew what I was feeling. So they would, you know.
00:26:07.789 --> 00:26:10.170
pick up on that. And that's how I communicated.
00:26:10.690 --> 00:26:13.549
And then I slowly, you know, as time went on,
00:26:13.650 --> 00:26:15.930
the weeks went by, and I would wake up and I
00:26:15.930 --> 00:26:19.150
would feel more like the old Krista. I realized
00:26:19.150 --> 00:26:22.609
like, I need to communicate like this or that,
00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:25.769
you know, by speaking it. And they thought maybe
00:26:25.769 --> 00:26:29.289
I had like a problem talking from the event,
00:26:29.529 --> 00:26:32.730
because it was eight minutes without any, any
00:26:32.730 --> 00:26:36.789
intervention. They stopped CPR to deliver my
00:26:36.789 --> 00:26:39.369
daughter and control the bleeding I had. So,
00:26:39.589 --> 00:26:41.250
you know, they thought maybe it was brain damage.
00:26:41.349 --> 00:26:43.250
They weren't sure. They were told I had a 50
00:26:43.250 --> 00:26:45.849
-50 chance of requiring 24 -hour care for the
00:26:45.849 --> 00:26:48.329
rest of my life. They had no idea what kind of
00:26:48.329 --> 00:26:51.130
state I would be in when I came to. But I was
00:26:51.130 --> 00:26:54.950
36 hours intubated in the ICU. And then they
00:26:54.950 --> 00:26:57.430
started to wean me off of the medication that
00:26:57.430 --> 00:26:59.450
they had to sedate me to keep me from pulling
00:26:59.450 --> 00:27:02.440
the tube out. And then... they started to assess
00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:06.480
my functioning. And I had memory issues. I was
00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:10.259
a different personality in terms of my drive,
00:27:10.380 --> 00:27:14.380
my ambition to get things done, which I was very,
00:27:14.380 --> 00:27:17.519
again, type A. I was completely the opposite.
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:21.599
So I think that was a big part of the restructuring.
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:26.759
Not only that, but I have an ability to understand
00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:31.559
things from a perspective where I'm not quite
00:27:31.559 --> 00:27:35.440
sure that I would have had otherwise. I used
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:38.519
to, like, you know, get colds and illnesses and
00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:41.940
whatnot and get pretty sick before. I don't now.
00:27:42.259 --> 00:27:45.660
I'm really quite healthy, with the exception
00:27:45.660 --> 00:27:49.319
of a small issue with blood pressure, but that's
00:27:49.319 --> 00:27:52.000
from nine years in the emergency room. I feel
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:57.660
like I became someone that was just genetically...
00:27:57.640 --> 00:28:01.460
I feel like I had like an upgrade almost, like
00:28:01.460 --> 00:28:04.759
a restructuring. I don't feel like a walk -in,
00:28:04.920 --> 00:28:10.039
but I do feel like I am, I don't know, structurally
00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:13.039
like a more sound human, I guess I can say. I
00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:15.579
don't know, it's hard to describe. That is so
00:28:15.579 --> 00:28:18.460
interesting. Most people feel like their personality
00:28:18.460 --> 00:28:23.059
has changed a lot, but physically, that's very
00:28:23.059 --> 00:28:25.980
unusual. That's interesting. I'm going to ask
00:28:25.980 --> 00:28:27.880
you a personal question you don't have to answer
00:28:27.880 --> 00:28:31.099
if you don't want to. Did all of these changes
00:28:31.099 --> 00:28:33.640
have anything to do with your divorce? Because
00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:36.440
you mentioned you have a second husband now.
00:28:37.299 --> 00:28:41.059
Yes, I mean, but I feel like what if I didn't
00:28:41.059 --> 00:28:45.039
have a near -death experience and how would my
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:47.000
first marriage have played out? And I wonder
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:50.299
if we would still be together today, only because
00:28:50.299 --> 00:28:54.640
there were so many external factors. my ex -husband
00:28:54.640 --> 00:28:57.819
was a touring musician, our entire marriage.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:02.839
We met when we were 20 and 21 and grew up together.
00:29:03.220 --> 00:29:06.920
We were married together for 22 years before
00:29:06.920 --> 00:29:10.599
we separated. But I do believe that the acceleration
00:29:10.599 --> 00:29:14.759
of my starting to live my truth within myself,
00:29:14.980 --> 00:29:17.279
because I had still tried to integrate back into
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:19.539
the world, back into this role, like... into
00:29:19.539 --> 00:29:23.220
this role as a PA and Western medicine and all
00:29:23.220 --> 00:29:26.059
of that and just getting along in the world.
00:29:26.259 --> 00:29:29.039
And I just, it didn't feel like it fit. There
00:29:29.039 --> 00:29:33.759
was this like greater sort of calling I had of,
00:29:34.140 --> 00:29:36.119
no, pay attention to this. It's like, it's about
00:29:36.119 --> 00:29:38.920
the love. It's about the love. And I ignored
00:29:38.920 --> 00:29:40.839
that for so many years. And when I finally started
00:29:40.839 --> 00:29:43.819
to focus on just loving myself, coming from that
00:29:43.819 --> 00:29:46.140
point of view, all of my interactions with my
00:29:46.140 --> 00:29:48.460
patients, with my colleagues, with my family,
00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:51.640
That's when my ex -husband started to sort of
00:29:51.640 --> 00:29:54.519
go through his own transition in his life. We
00:29:54.519 --> 00:29:56.319
just came to a point where we looked at each
00:29:56.319 --> 00:29:59.799
other. We're like really good friends. And we're
00:29:59.799 --> 00:30:02.400
like, you know what? It's probably best if we
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:04.980
live our lives separately. Him and my ex -mother
00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:07.900
-in -law come for holidays and we have our daughter
00:30:07.900 --> 00:30:11.519
together and we all get along. I love him. He's
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:16.259
a great person, but he wasn't my person as time
00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:20.319
went on anymore. I wasn't his so it was just
00:30:20.319 --> 00:30:23.839
kind of like okay. Well, let's let's go our separate
00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:26.720
ways and still be really good friends What's
00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:29.460
it like now being married to someone who also
00:30:29.460 --> 00:30:34.039
is an experiencer? Well, it's fabulous because
00:30:34.039 --> 00:30:37.220
well, not only is Ainsley like an amazing person
00:30:37.220 --> 00:30:40.680
human being but he really gets it and we are
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:43.859
on the same sort of I wouldn't say level of understanding
00:30:43.859 --> 00:30:45.380
because it's not like there's higher or lower
00:30:45.380 --> 00:30:48.190
levels. It's just the depth of understanding
00:30:48.190 --> 00:30:52.210
of who we are and why we're here. It's fabulous
00:30:52.210 --> 00:30:56.349
because we can talk about all this stuff. It's
00:30:56.349 --> 00:31:00.990
very comfortable, wonderful, expansive. I'm always
00:31:00.990 --> 00:31:05.049
growing as a person with him. Yeah, it's been
00:31:05.049 --> 00:31:09.430
such a gift. That's awesome. Okay, winding down
00:31:09.430 --> 00:31:13.150
here. A couple last questions. Number one, how
00:31:13.150 --> 00:31:15.690
much fear of death do you have right now? I'm
00:31:15.690 --> 00:31:17.690
not afraid to die at all. I always quote this
00:31:17.690 --> 00:31:20.890
Woody Allen line that he gives. I'm not afraid
00:31:20.890 --> 00:31:22.329
to die. I just don't want to be there when it
00:31:22.329 --> 00:31:25.130
happens. But that's assuming it's going to be
00:31:25.130 --> 00:31:27.309
something horrible. And death is a beautiful
00:31:27.309 --> 00:31:30.210
transition, my gosh. You know, we talk about
00:31:30.210 --> 00:31:33.549
birth, and it's the same for death. And I've
00:31:33.549 --> 00:31:37.309
been in the presence of the time when some of
00:31:37.309 --> 00:31:39.910
my patients have transitioned. And it gives me
00:31:39.910 --> 00:31:42.839
chills just talking about it. I've gone to the
00:31:42.839 --> 00:31:44.839
other side and come back. It's like, it's still,
00:31:44.900 --> 00:31:49.099
it is a, it is a gorgeous, gorgeous process.
00:31:49.640 --> 00:31:55.119
And I, I hope that I am in a place when I do
00:31:55.119 --> 00:32:00.720
transition where I am with my family, because
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.160
I would love to just have that moment where I
00:32:05.160 --> 00:32:07.700
get to say, bye, I'll see you on the other side.
00:32:08.089 --> 00:32:10.690
But I've never really gone so, you know, watch
00:32:10.690 --> 00:32:12.970
out for me. I'll still be visiting and letting
00:32:12.970 --> 00:32:16.690
you know I'm around It'd be great to be in that
00:32:16.690 --> 00:32:20.529
much control Yeah, when you transition over to
00:32:20.529 --> 00:32:22.829
know here it comes so I can say the very very
00:32:22.829 --> 00:32:26.670
last things smile Take a step through that door
00:32:26.670 --> 00:32:30.369
Yeah Yeah, how do we bottle that up? That'd be
00:32:30.369 --> 00:32:33.910
a good one. Lastly for those that maybe need
00:32:33.910 --> 00:32:37.480
a little bit of a Oh, just a message of hope
00:32:37.480 --> 00:32:39.920
today. They don't know whether they should believe
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:41.819
in the afterlife or not. What do you have to
00:32:41.819 --> 00:32:45.359
say to them? Well, I can just share from my experience
00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:48.819
that we don't ever really die. We transition
00:32:48.819 --> 00:32:51.460
form. We just move from one state of energy to
00:32:51.460 --> 00:32:55.880
another. What we leave behind is this temporal
00:32:55.880 --> 00:32:59.839
existence where everything is transitory and
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:03.740
we go to another realm, whatever we choose, and
00:33:03.740 --> 00:33:06.609
we get to experience what we experience there.
00:33:06.990 --> 00:33:09.690
We have free will. We have the ability to choose.
00:33:10.230 --> 00:33:15.069
We do get to experience the things that we imagine
00:33:15.069 --> 00:33:21.029
death is like, because our expectations and our
00:33:21.029 --> 00:33:25.170
beliefs, they do play a part in our experience.
00:33:25.230 --> 00:33:29.829
For me, it was law of attraction in action, my
00:33:29.829 --> 00:33:32.849
entire NDE. That was the overarching energy with
00:33:32.849 --> 00:33:35.720
love. Krista, thank you a ton for being with
00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:38.799
me today. I appreciate it. Thank you. This is
00:33:38.799 --> 00:33:43.299
great. Thanks again for listening and sharing
00:33:43.299 --> 00:33:45.599
this podcast. Don't forget to hit the follow
00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:48.480
or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter
00:33:48.480 --> 00:33:51.299
at roundtripdeath .com. If you want to share
00:33:51.299 --> 00:33:54.079
your near -death experience, or if you have questions
00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:56.779
or comments about the show, send an email to
00:33:56.779 --> 00:34:00.259
eric at roundtripdeath .com. Until then, I wish
00:34:00.259 --> 00:34:02.140
you everything good that you're looking for in
00:34:02.140 --> 00:34:03.799
this life and the next.
