Transcript
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From the time that they pronounced me deaf was a good 45 minutes.
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They cut my clothes and then they paddled my heart, my heart had stopped.
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And I could see people screaming and crying, but I didn't realize that was actually my
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physical body because I was somewhere else.
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The only thing that I could feel, if you could imagine, absolute love and peace, there wasn't
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anything else to be felt.
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I was greeted by people I'd known in the past.
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I'm back home again.
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Incredibly safe and felt at home.
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Welcome to Round Trip Death, everybody.
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We have with us today Ryan Rampton from Roy, Utah.
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That's a lot of Rs in there.
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It is.
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But how are you, Ryan?
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I'm doing good.
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Thanks for having me, Eric.
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You're welcome.
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We are excited.
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We are going to hear a very unusual story today from a great guy in our pre-interview
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a couple of weeks ago.
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We had a lot of fun.
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Yeah, we did.
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And I think we're going to get together and have some fun sometime.
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But in the meantime, our listeners don't know you at all.
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So tell us just a little bit about who is Ryan.
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It's an interesting thing, kind of how that's phrased in the fact that we have two things.
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We have our true self, who our spirit is, and then we have our persona, which is kind
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of like who we are in the world, right?
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So it's always a little crazy because I see both.
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I'm a firefighter or paramedic.
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I'm also a photographer.
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I was a commercial photographer for most of my life.
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You ever heard of Lifetime products?
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I was there a commercial photographer for about 10 years, photographed basketball hoops
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and sheds and kayaks and all that stuff.
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And I've done a lot of weddings and family groups.
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And but I love, I love being of service.
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So I do the firefighting and the paramedic stuff because I really feel like I make a
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difference.
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And that's my goal is to serve and feel like I've got a purpose in being here.
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I think when you're of service to your fellow being, that's the highest calling you can
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have.
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And so for me, that's kind of why I do it.
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I enjoy the physical activities of it.
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I enjoy lifting weights.
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I'm married.
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You know, I just, I think God's blessed me so much.
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I've gone, not that I've always been that way.
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I've gone through like refiner's fire, yes, you would say.
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And there's times that, you know, life was so tough.
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Life was so hard that I didn't want to be here.
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And that really kind of, I think made me understand a little bit more and appreciate when you do
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want to be here, when you are of service, when you found your purpose.
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Does that make sense?
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Absolutely.
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That's a good message.
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And by the way, if I were hearing talking to you for the first time, and I knew that
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you had a near-death experience, and I heard that you were a firefighter, paramedic, and
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that you did some photography, I would assume that your traumatic experience came in the
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line of being a firefighter.
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Right.
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And I would be totally wrong.
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That's true.
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Now, the weird thing is, is I've got probably 20 or 30 stories that I should have died,
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and just didn't.
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And a couple of them have revolved around the fire department.
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One time we got caught in a flash over, and usually that's very fatal for firefighters.
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And my captain was able to pull me onto my back.
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I was a brand new rookie.
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Reached up, we put a fog stream, and it kind of protected us pretty little water curtain.
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We were able to make it out of that alive.
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And then another time, we were fighting a fire, and they had propane bottles in the house
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because they were cooking meth.
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And that exploded, and God had somebody run over our hose just before we made entry.
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And so instead of making entry into the home like we would, and try to put the fire out,
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we're hurrying and changing this hose out that got run over by a car, and then the house
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exploded.
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So, there's been times like all of these that I should have died.
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I've got so many of them, and it's really crazy.
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And then the time we actually did die, that like you said, had nothing to do with firefighting.
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It was photography related.
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These terms get intermingled and confused a lot, don't they?
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They do.
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I mean, I tend to call the thing like you're saying about not going into the meth house.
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I tend to call that something more like a brush with death, right, versus a near death.
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Because the way that we use the term near death experience on this show is people who
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have died and come back.
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And that's why the name of the show is round trip death.
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People that have made that trip to the other side and then come back.
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So let's talk about the very, very dangerous skill or profession of photography.
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And by the way, you weren't climbing Everest.
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You were in a studio when this happened.
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Give us a little background.
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What was going on this day?
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So earlier in the day, I had a family group in there and photographed this family group
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and their kids were being rambunctious and chasing each other.
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And they ended up knocking one of my lights over and broke this light, one real expensive
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flash head.
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I was like, no big deal.
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We finished the session.
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I set it off to the side.
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And then later, my kids wanted to watch a movie on our projector.
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So we have a theater room where we did the sales.
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We project the images for clients and stuff.
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And they're in there watching this movie.
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And I was watching it with them and kept thinking about this light that I had to go fix.
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So finally I got up, left the movie and walked out and started messing around with this light.
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So that's how it started.
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Go ahead and keep going.
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Here it comes.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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So I'm messing around with this light and I had this feeling like in pending doom, like
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I'm going to get, I'm going to be electrocute.
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And I thought I'd better go unplug this.
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So I went over and I unplugged it.
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I had four lights plugged into this, you know, double outlet.
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And I unplugged the wrong one, unbeknownst to me.
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Went back and it's like a computer, the back of a computer that has the three metal prongs
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and then the black plug slides into it.
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Well, that whole piece had broken out.
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I have these wires hanging off, this plastic housing, these three metal prongs, the wires
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on them.
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I'm going to take those off and then I'm trying to get the plastic housing off the cord so
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I can maybe order a new part for it and get it fixed or see if I can glue it.
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I don't know.
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And again, you believe it's unplugged?
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Yeah.
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I believe it's unplugged.
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That's the key here.
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Okay.
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I couldn't get a good grip on it.
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So I would thought, you know, I'm pretty good at mug givering things.
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I'll figure something out.
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Oh, let me use my teeth as pliers.
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So I put this in my mouth and I bit down on it and the three metal prongs touched my tongue.
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So I can have 110 bolts going straight into my wet tongue, into my body and it locks me
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up.
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I cannot move a muscle.
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I'm sitting there frying.
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Can you explain what that feels like?
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I think we've seen that in movies and such, but it seems like, okay, just let go.
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Explain why you can't.
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So what happens is it freezes every one of your muscles.
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So you could be the strongest guy in the world and you could not overcome this electricity
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because every muscle just completely contracts and locks up.
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That's usually 110 volts or certain voltages like 220, 240 or 440.
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They will make an entrance wound and an exit wound.
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And depending on how you get electrocuted is based on what kind of damage you have.
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So 220 usually has burn externally and you'll have an exit wound.
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Where 110 will actually cook you from the inside out.
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So that's what's kind of crazy about 110 volts.
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So this electricity is going in my mouth.
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If you've ever been shocked, it's kind of a real, oh, you know, well, it's like every
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cell in my body is feeling that.
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Like I don't think I've ever been in so much pain or completely felt out of control or
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I couldn't move anything.
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And that was frustrating in itself.
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And yet I'm just going through this extreme pain of every cell in my own film like it's
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going to explode.
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So you absolutely cannot let go.
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No.
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This is in your mouth.
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Yeah.
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You've probably, have you like bitten down, clenched on it because everything's locking
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up.
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Everything just locked up.
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And so all I could see is I was looking down at the cord in my mouth and I couldn't even
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move my eyes to see if I like my kids were going to find me.
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Someone's going to come and unplug it.
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I'm trying to move anything and I can't mind like I can move my eyes.
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So yeah, it was completely locked up.
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How long would you say this went on?
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Well, so the whole experience that we'll go into took about six minutes is what we figured.
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So up and up to this point, I'm probably being electrocuted for about a minute.
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And before I kind of realized this is it, I'm going to die because black smoke was billowing
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out of my mouth.
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Wait, say that again.
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The black smoke was billowing out of my mouth.
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Kind of like if you imagine a old cold driven steam engine, you know, a train, how they
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use that black smoke.
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Well, I could just see this black smoke coming out of my mouth.
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So what was it that was burning?
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My tongue.
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Oh.
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So my flesh, yeah.
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So it had charcoal to hold through my tongue the size of a quarter.
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So if you've been up camping and cooked a hot dog, forgot about it on the fire and come
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back and it's just completely charcoal.
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Sure.
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Touch it and it just falls apart.
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Well, I mean, I never have, but I'm sure other people less responsible have.
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Right.
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Go ahead.
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Yeah.
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So I'm just being electrocuted and this black smoke is pouring out of my mouth.
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And so at that moment, I realized, oh my gosh, I'm dead.
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This is how I'm going to die.
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And I get incredibly mad.
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I was like, are you kidding me?
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This is how I'm going to go out.
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I'm going to get a Darwin Award on the internet.
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I'm going to be a joke.
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Like no, no, no, I can't die a hero.
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I can't die saving someone, you know, doing my job.
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I can't.
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I mean, all the times that I had the brushes with death, like, you know, no, I was saved,
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right?
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Motorcycle accidents, car crashes, almost got to a plane crash.
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And I was a firefighter, you know, saving this little boy, we get in that flash over.
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No, no, no, I can't die a hero.
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I'm going to die from stupidity.
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So this is what's going through my head.
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Like, I'm not even upset that I'm dying.
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It's how I'm going to die and how it's going to look.
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That's the thing that cracks me up now.
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Remember, I said I couldn't move anything.
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That's including my eyeballs.
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Well, I remember seeing a light above my head that was so bright and I looked up into it.
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And I felt the light just coming down and it was like the most beautiful thing I'd ever
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seen.
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And I just went right into the light, became one with the light and ended up in this pure
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white room.
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And I knew at that moment that I had died, that I was, I passed over and I was like,
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wow, I'm dead.
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It's done.
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Like, I guess the biggest thought that was occupying my brain right then was, I get to
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go home to father.
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And that's what popped in my head.
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I was so excited.
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Like, I don't know if you remember back when you were a little kid, but I remember Christmas
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Eve and my parents said I could get up Christmas morning at 7 a.m. and I'd wake up early and
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just sit there and stare at the clock and watch the seconds tick by until I could go
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in and wake my parents up and go open the presents.
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It was like that.
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It was the most incredible anticipation, so much excitement of being able to go home.
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And then about that time, I saw a really bright light in the, remember, I'm in this pure white
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room.
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As far as I could see any direction, it's just white.
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Right.
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Do you see any people or anything or just white everywhere?
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Just white everywhere and I'm all alone.
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So it's kind of like a waiting room of some sort.
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Yeah.
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That's kind of what I was thinking, you know?
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And then I see a really bright light up above me.
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And I kind of look up and there's something like a curtain avail, something that's separating
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and then this bright light and this personage comes through this and comes to the stands
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in front of me.
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And for me, it was God the Father.
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Like I felt like this was my Father, this was God.
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And I had the most incredible completion that I've ever had.
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Like it's so hard to put into words like how this makes you feel because we've never experienced
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anything, anything remotely close to this on earth.
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Even the most spiritual experiences I've had and the different things when you're with
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God, like you feel whole and complete, you feel one.
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And it was the most loved and incredible feeling that I could ever even imagine.
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And then God showed me my life, like it starts flashing in front of me.
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We're watching it transpire.
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I'm watching my life.
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And we went through so many things like in my life and it was so funny because it seemed
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like it happened that quick, but it was my life in entirety.
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Like time was all wonky, right?
265
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Yeah.
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00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,800
Yeah, I want to slow you down for just a second if you don't mind because you used a word
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that I don't hear very often and that is the word feeling complete or completion.
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Explain that a little bit.
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So I've come to understand that a little bit more through both of the experiences, my near
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death experience and then what I call my God change afterwards.
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And I go back to, if you guys, if you remember the commandment in the New Testament where
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Christ said, be perfect, even as my father in heaven is perfect.
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The original Hebrew word that he used was TANIN, T-A-M-I-N, and it means whole or complete.
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So be whole or complete, even as my father, heaven is full and complete.
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And once I understood that, coupled with my experience there, that's what it felt like
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to me.
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It felt like everything on earth, everything that I've ever experienced, we were so separate.
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It's so lonely.
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It's so just fractured.
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And when you become one with God again, you are so whole and complete, everything that
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you've missed.
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And you're just one with God.
283
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And it was just the most incredible thing that I could ever even imagine what it felt
284
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like.
285
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,760
That's a great explanation, thank you.
286
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,920
Okay, let's talk about the life review.
287
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:16,920
I feel like you were going to go through it really fast because it seemed fast.
288
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But can you give us any examples of what was reviewed?
289
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:28,400
So it was everything, the good, the bad, my sins, my triumphs, like everything.
290
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:34,080
But the incredible thing was I grew up like a very self-judgmental.
291
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Like I never was good enough.
292
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Like I felt like I was always a failure.
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I was always too big of a sinner.
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So when I watched all these things through God's eyes, everything was a beautiful lesson
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for me to learn and grow.
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Like there was absolutely no, which I completely expected was this disappointment or shame or
297
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any of these emotions that I experienced on earth.
298
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But all I felt from God was this love and this pride, like he loved me so much and he
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was so, even the things that I considered sins and bad things were so incredibly beautiful
300
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because I learned so much.
301
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:24,920
So at this one point, I remember seeing, I'd been married for 15 years and we ended up
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00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:31,760
kind of renewing our wedding vows or as a Mormon couple, we went to the temple and got
303
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,760
sealed.
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00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:38,000
Anyway, so we got this done and then like six months later, my ex-wife left with another
305
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,880
man, ran off, left me with these four kids.
306
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,760
And I was just devastated by that, right?
307
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I'd worked so hard in my marriage and I remember seeing this through God's eyes and going,
308
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,440
wow, like why was I so upset about that?
309
00:17:54,440 --> 00:18:00,200
It was such a beautiful learning experience and I had nothing but the utmost compassion
310
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for her and love and just completely understood and like almost revered that like it was so
311
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sacred that that happened to me and it was so amazing.
312
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You know, and then I get back to earth and I'm like, nah, I still hate her.
313
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,080
I'm kidding.
314
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,080
I really don't.
315
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,760
We're pretty good friends now.
316
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:27,080
But it's just, it was such a different emotion than what I'm used to being human.
317
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,840
Like how you can look at things like that through God's eyes and everything was just
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beautiful, perfect lesson for us, the eyes of unconditional love.
319
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:42,640
And when we went through that, it was just like that's all experienced.
320
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,200
And for me, like I couldn't believe it.
321
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:51,120
In fact, after I got back from that experience, I remember talking to a guy named El Tom Perry
322
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,920
and you probably know who that is.
323
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:57,840
And I told him, I said, I still don't understand why God didn't pull that lever.
324
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,160
You know, that has this trap door and I slides out when he's talking with me and I slide
325
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,280
down the chute and there's a guy with a red suit and a pitchfork to me be at the bottom.
326
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,720
Like that's where I felt like I should have gone afterwards.
327
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:14,760
But when I was in that moment with this life review, everything was this beautiful, perfect
328
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,760
lesson.
329
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:21,000
I had nothing but unconditional love from God and everything that I had done, the good,
330
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,080
the bad, the ugly was all a beautiful experience for me to learn and grow.
331
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,880
That's another thing you've explained very well because I hear about life reviews from
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00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:37,720
other people and they have those same feelings, no guilt, no shame, just learning and they're
333
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,240
feeling God's love.
334
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:44,120
But I think it's the fact that you felt like you were seeing it through his eyes that could
335
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,760
make that possible.
336
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,760
Yes.
337
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:52,480
If it was through our eyes, we would feel all those negative emotions probably.
338
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,480
Yes.
339
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,960
I think that's exactly it.
340
00:19:55,960 --> 00:20:01,400
And it's so hard when you're wrapped up in that moment to interpret me from God because
341
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:09,040
I was experiencing what God, but I know me personally and I know how judgmental I was
342
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,160
against myself.
343
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:17,520
So I grew up, always let him God, but I also grew up with sins and with mistakes that I
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00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,520
had made.
345
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,400
So I hated myself.
346
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:26,160
I remember even being a young man, young, good-looking guy, and I would look in the mirror
347
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:32,080
and say to myself, you're a good-looking guy, but if anybody really, really knew you, no
348
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,960
one would like you.
349
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,480
I just despised myself.
350
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,920
I couldn't even look at myself in the eyes.
351
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:45,560
I would look at my face or my nose, but I couldn't look into soul to soul in the mirror and look
352
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:53,080
at myself in the eyes because I was so profoundly disappointed and so much self-judgment.
353
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,160
And it completely affected my whole life.
354
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:02,040
And so this experience with God and then many others actually taught me how to start learning
355
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:07,480
how to love and forgive myself and how to get past all that.
356
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:13,760
Yeah, and I don't want to get too far off here, but how can people look at themselves
357
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,760
through God's eyes on a daily basis?
358
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:25,120
So it requires work, and that's all I'll say because we have so much programming, so much
359
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,620
negativity.
360
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:31,680
The funny thing is, is like, when you have children, you will give them a break.
361
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:32,680
You're like, you know what?
362
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,680
I love them.
363
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,680
You know?
364
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,680
Yeah, I made a mistake in giving them a break.
365
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,480
But do you ever give yourself a break?
366
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,240
Do you ever say, yeah, you slept in today.
367
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,240
That's okay.
368
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,000
You weren't so hard to deserve it.
369
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:48,120
No, you should grab the biggest stick you can and start beating yourself with it.
370
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,840
You stupid idiot.
371
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:55,920
And so we were very programmed to be self-critical of ourselves.
372
00:21:55,920 --> 00:22:02,440
And especially if you were an achiever, a type personality or things like that, then
373
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,720
you're even more self-critical.
374
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:11,040
And so I think one of the biggest lessons that I learned and how to incorporate this
375
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:17,320
was I decided to start saying, because I knew what kind of love that God had for me, which
376
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,640
was unconditional love.
377
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:26,200
But I decided to start seeing myself like how he did, how God loved being no matter
378
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:30,360
what, in spite of my sins.
379
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,360
And that was the hardest thing.
380
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:37,320
I had to remember all the time, like, I love myself in spite of my sins and spite of my
381
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,080
mistakes and spite of my flaws.
382
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,000
I love myself.
383
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,880
And believe me, this was probably the hardest struggle I've ever had in my life, was learning
384
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,920
how to love and forgive myself.
385
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,120
All right, let's get back to where we were.
386
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,680
So you have this life review.
387
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,680
Yeah.
388
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:54,680
You're in this white room.
389
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,400
What happens next?
390
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:02,680
So we get done with a life review and God says to me, do you want to come home with
391
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,520
me or do you want to go back with them?
392
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:09,520
And he did this with his hand, kind of upside down, this kind of sweeping motion.
393
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:14,240
And the floor we were standing on was pure white and it starts going foggy and then clear.
394
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,720
And we're standing in the air about 20 feet above my children.
395
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,800
And I can see it in this theater room, the movie's just ending.
396
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,840
And their credits are coming up and they're doing the little shadow puppet things.
397
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,840
They're playing with each other in the shadow puppets.
398
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,560
It was so cute.
399
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:34,000
And I remember seeing that and just my heart sunk.
400
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,280
And I knew my kids needed me.
401
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,720
And yet I did not want to leave God.
402
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,680
That was the hardest thing in the world.
403
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:49,920
Out of anything, I stayed in a marriage, me and my ex-wife, we both did, in a marriage
404
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:55,160
that wasn't probably the best marriage in the world, but I stayed because of my kids.
405
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,360
Like I would have done anything for my kids.
406
00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:01,720
And they meant so the whole world to me.
407
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:07,400
And yet it was the hardest decision to decide to leave God and go back to him.
408
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:11,160
But I saw my kids there and so I was given a choice.
409
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,480
And I said, no, I need to go back to him.
410
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,120
I know they need me.
411
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,240
I need to go home.
412
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,920
And God said, okay, I will see you again.
413
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:29,080
And at that moment, I was anticipating maybe a hug or at least a high five, a slap on the
414
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,960
butt, said go get back in the game.
415
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,040
Like the coach sends you back into the football game.
416
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:41,160
But no, immediately I'm out of God's presence and I get put back in my body and I get hit
417
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:48,240
by this 20 ton truck of electricity that hits me and the pain hits me again.
418
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,080
And I was like, whoa.
419
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:54,040
I would God send me back to my body and not get me off the electricity.
420
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,320
That's a pretty good question, right?
421
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,320
Absolutely.
422
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,440
That's fair.
423
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:03,120
I hear God's voice says, oh, did you ask for help?
424
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:04,800
Isn't that funny?
425
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,840
Did you forget to ask for help?
426
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:07,840
Yes.
427
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,320
So God was saying, did you ask for help?
428
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,880
Like so that's a great lesson.
429
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:13,880
God is bound.
430
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:19,960
He cannot help us until we ask because of our free agency, because of our free will.
431
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,360
So he allows things to happen to us.
432
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,320
But if we ask, then he's there.
433
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:30,560
So I was kind of like really kind of chagrined at that point because I was like, why would
434
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:31,560
God help me?
435
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,120
And then he's like, did you ask for help?
436
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:36,680
I was like, oh yeah, I kind of missed that part.
437
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,040
And so I said, dear God, please help.
438
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:45,280
And as soon as I said that, the court like felt like somebody huge, strong pulled on
439
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,520
it and started pulling it out.
440
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,080
And I went, holy crap.
441
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,440
I mean, like I swore in front of God, you know, that's kind of.
442
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,560
Oh, you're not the first one.
443
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,560
I've heard plenty.
444
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,560
Right.
445
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,960
So I'm like, holy crap.
446
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,520
So I grabbed the cord and I start, well, I was already grabbing the cord.
447
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,280
So I'm doing this and I feel it coming down.
448
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,360
So I'm trying to help as much as I can.
449
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:11,960
And I feel the cord being pulled out of my mouth and I'm giving every ounce of effort
450
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,960
and energy that I can to pop that out.
451
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,160
And then the cord pops out and I have no idea medically.
452
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,640
I've never been able to figure this out why I was alert.
453
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:27,240
And if you think about the electricity locking up everything in my body where I couldn't
454
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,040
even move my eyes, couldn't blink.
455
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,640
Well, my heart stopped beating either.
456
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,080
So for that whole time, my heart's completely froze.
457
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,240
So I'm not going to need blood flow.
458
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,440
So I don't know why the electricity was keeping me alert.
459
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:44,920
But as soon as like I pulled that plug out, man, I remember like unplugging and all that
460
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:50,160
old fashioned black and white TV, just like everything was you and the blackness.
461
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,800
And I crashed to the ground and fell on the ground.
462
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:58,600
Well, my kids that were in the next room heard that and they come running out.
463
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:03,280
My 12 year old son comes running over and he rolls me over and starts shaking me dad,
464
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,280
dad.
465
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:09,280
And he said, I opened my mouth and he saw black smoke still billowing out of it.
466
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:10,720
And he went, oh my God.
467
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:14,880
So I just remember that, you know, like he put up his mouth and he's like, is that
468
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,480
his eyes went about as big as saucers?
469
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:18,960
He runs over and grabs the phone.
470
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,720
He calls 911.
471
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,360
So they ended up taking me up to the hospital.
472
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:26,600
Real quick, I want to just go back to that.
473
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,440
Did you ask for help?
474
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:33,760
Because it's such a beautiful metaphor how God actually works, how the atonement for
475
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:39,840
me of Jesus Christ works, that you, God makes up the impossible part in your life, but he
476
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:45,920
still requires you to do every ounce of effort that you can for your own learning and growth.
477
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,240
But he is the part that makes up the impossible part.
478
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,240
So that was it.
479
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,920
I could have been the strongest man in the world.
480
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:56,600
I could have been the incredible whole, could not have been able to overcome my own muscles.
481
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,720
But through God and through his help, I was able to pull that cord out.
482
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,240
But it wasn't on my own, but I still had to give out all my effort.
483
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,120
Anyway, make it up to the hospital.
484
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:12,160
The doctor comes in and looks at my mouth and I had charcoal, like I said, about the
485
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,640
size of a quarter, right through my tongue.
486
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,720
And God's so hot in my mouth that it melted the fillings.
487
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,360
So I've got like silver fillings from the dentist.
488
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:23,840
They were all brand new and shiny.
489
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,560
And then I had one of my teeth that actually exploded.
490
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:32,120
They had too many, I guess it got hot and made the tooth expand and it exploded.
491
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:36,640
And the doctor looked at this and says, you know, I'm not worried about your tongue.
492
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:40,400
He says it will heal up in a couple of weeks and you'll end up with a nice little scar
493
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,240
and a story to tell.
494
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,480
He says, I'm not worried about your teeth.
495
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,000
He says you get new dental work and that will all be fine.
496
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:52,120
He says, what I am worried about, he says 110 will cook you from the inside out, where
497
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:57,560
220 will burn you externally and cause really bad severe burns.
498
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,480
He says, what I'm worried about is every one of your organs being damaged and being
499
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:03,480
cooked.
500
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,320
And he said, we're going to run some enzyme tests and we'll be able to tell based on what
501
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:13,280
enzymes are in your blood, not if you have damage, but how bad the damage is.
502
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,680
We're going to be able to tell your heart, your lungs, your kidneys, your brain, all
503
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,880
that will is potentially damaged.
504
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:26,920
And he said, again, given the amount of time that you were being shocked and what the damage
505
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,840
has done to your mouth, he says you could die tonight.
506
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:35,240
The doctor is like, you can go into organ failure tonight and not make it through.
507
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,800
He says, we're worried about your airways.
508
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,200
We're going to innovate you.
509
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:43,440
We're going to put you out and we're going to run these blood tests and we'll go from
510
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:44,440
there.
511
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,440
Wow.
512
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:46,440
It's terrifying.
513
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:47,440
Yeah.
514
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:52,560
But were you afraid or did you have this sort of afterglow from meeting God experience?
515
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,560
You know what?
516
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,880
I was confused.
517
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,160
And this is the interesting thing.
518
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:03,120
I contrast this like 12 years later when I had my, what I call my God change versus coming
519
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:07,440
back, coming back like the eye felt empty.
520
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,320
I felt blah, like colors.
521
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,800
Just nothing was vibrant.
522
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:19,960
Everything felt just really bleak and depressing to me being back on earth because I think
523
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,720
I was missing God so much, you know, missing that connection that I experienced it.
524
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:31,280
I tasted it, I felt it and then to be back, I just, you know, I didn't really even care.
525
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:37,760
When he told me you could die, I remember, you know, just thinking, well, that would
526
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:38,760
be all right.
527
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,800
Like at least we gave it a shot, right?
528
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:46,520
Anyway, next morning I wake up in the hospital and the nurse, they'd taken the tube out of
529
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,920
my throat and they pick in my IVs out and all this.
530
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,080
And then the doctor comes in and he says, well, good morning.
531
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:57,600
He says, I discharged you from the hospital, you can go home.
532
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,600
And I went, what?
533
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,160
And he said, yeah, he said, I ran your enzyme test three times because I didn't believe
534
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,520
the first results.
535
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,840
And so I made them redo the test.
536
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:14,400
And then I went down and I knew they had to be screwing the test up somehow because there
537
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:18,440
was zero enzymes in your blood and that was physically impossible given the damage in
538
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,540
your mouth.
539
00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:24,040
So I went down and supervised and made sure they did the test right and they did.
540
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,400
And this third time still showed zero enzymes in your blood.
541
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:32,400
Yeah, absolutely no damage other than to just your mouth.
542
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,720
He said, no other organ is damaged.
543
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:40,480
And he says, I'm a man of science, not a faith, but you're a miracle.
544
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,800
And so just go home and live your life.
545
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:48,280
And so I remember going home and like I said, just being super confused.
546
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:54,400
And here's the really interesting part is I didn't feel worthy to tell anybody about
547
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,400
this.
548
00:31:55,400 --> 00:32:00,920
Like of course I told my ex-wife and I told my parents and I think I even told my kids,
549
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:06,960
but even the reactions I got were kind of like, really?
550
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,400
It wasn't like anybody was like, wow, that was so amazing.
551
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,680
I felt very self-conscious.
552
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:21,260
And the biggest thing was I didn't feel like I had any right to be talking about God because
553
00:32:21,260 --> 00:32:23,400
I was a sinner.
554
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,240
And to me, that makes me laugh now.
555
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:32,240
But like I felt like, well, no, that should be a priest or a bishop or a religious figure
556
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:39,820
or somebody that talks about God that is righteous, not me because like I'm not, I'm a sinner.
557
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:44,760
And so it was really, really hard for me to talk to anybody about that.
558
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:50,000
So I remember going through about 12 years, the next 12 years, went to my divorce.
559
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:55,480
I got remarried three or four years down the road and built this company up and was living
560
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,080
my life and doing all these things.
561
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,080
And then everything fell apart.
562
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:04,240
Like I mean, just completely house cards crashed down.
563
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,760
We were making so much money.
564
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,800
We had this business and everything just exploded on it.
565
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,040
We went through a divorce, lost my house, lost everything.
566
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,360
And I was just devastated.
567
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:20,520
And I remember this is 12 years after my near death experience.
568
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:25,200
And I was up in this place called Lava Haas Springs up in Idaho.
569
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:30,440
And I was in one of the cold pools and I was just meditating and I was sitting there and
570
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,160
I was just so depressed, so destroyed.
571
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:39,040
And I was praying to God and I said, you know, I made the wrong choice.
572
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,280
Like I shouldn't have come home.
573
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,840
I shouldn't have come back to earth.
574
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,080
Everything's just horrible.
575
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,360
I feel like everything's blown up.
576
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:51,040
I haven't made a difference in my kids' lives or anything.
577
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,520
Like I just, I'm a waste.
578
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:58,160
And I was so depressed and I'm like, I don't want to take my own life, but I don't care
579
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,160
God.
580
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,480
Like I made the mistake.
581
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:01,480
Please correct it.
582
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,800
Like drop a meteor on me, smash me, give me an aneurysm, a heart attack.
583
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,760
I don't care what it is, but I want to come home.
584
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:16,640
And I was praying to God and this is the first time that I heard God's voice physically
585
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,520
since he said, oh, did you ask for help when I was trying to pull the cord out?
586
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,520
Right?
587
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:28,480
I hear God's voice and he says, leaving my presence one time is traumatic for everyone
588
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,600
because you leave nothing but love.
589
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:36,360
For you to remember what my love feels like and chose to leave a second time has left
590
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:41,520
such a hole in you that you've tried to fill it with everything but me.
591
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,000
But what you really want is me.
592
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:50,200
And when he said that, like something physically clunked into place, like I don't still don't
593
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:55,520
know what it was, but I actually filled a physical clunk in my core that went clunk.
594
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,520
And I went, dude, I'm yours.
595
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,760
And I yelled at the top of my lungs, right?
596
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,240
And God is dude.
597
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:04,920
I don't know if you knew that was one of his names, but.
598
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,800
He answers to all kinds of things.
599
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:07,800
Right.
600
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,920
He's very forgiving about that.
601
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:17,400
And like I felt God claiming me as much as I, I was claiming him, he was claiming me
602
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:25,400
was this beautiful exchange where like I knew at that moment that everything I had, everything
603
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:32,240
I ever did was for him, for his greater glory that I gave everything like I consecrated my
604
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:35,360
life at that point to him.
605
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:40,120
It was the most profound change that I've ever had in my life.
606
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:49,000
I felt like purpose, like I went from complete despair wanting to die and come back home
607
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,680
to renewed purpose, renewed.
608
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,080
I knew why I was there.
609
00:35:54,080 --> 00:36:00,560
I knew what my message was and that I was going to tell everybody that I could meet.
610
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:04,760
But I kind of went from like telling nobody about my near death experience to everybody
611
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,920
that I could chew on their ear for five minutes.
612
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,760
Hey, let me tell you about God, you know, it was just so beautiful.
613
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:15,600
Well over the next two weeks, I had probably the most spiritual experiences in my whole
614
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:16,600
life.
615
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,160
Like I just had amazing, amazing things happen.
616
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:25,920
It taught me all of, all these lessons how to love and forgive myself.
617
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,880
And they knew that that was what my message was going to be.
618
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,080
Like how to start loving and forgiving yourself.
619
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:38,600
When you think back, you were face to face with God.
620
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:44,640
Do you have any memory of what he looked like or was it more a feeling than specifics?
621
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:52,880
So the interesting thing I remember trying to pick out features, because I was so enthralled,
622
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:53,880
right?
623
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,880
And God was so bright.
624
00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:01,120
Of course he was in the shape of a personage, like I could see a hand and I could see arms
625
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:07,880
and his face, but he was so bright, you could not pick out any details except just pure
626
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,400
bright white light.
627
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:16,560
You know, you could kind of see a little bit there, but and no, but it was like, so it
628
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:20,560
was like looking into a searchlight and trying to, you know, focus on that.
629
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,360
It was so incredible.
630
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:28,960
Like God was this like so brilliant, so full of light that he, it was just hard to see
631
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,800
anything around that.
632
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,280
That makes sense.
633
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:37,400
Now since you had this lava hot springs, this, what do you call it, a reawakening?
634
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:38,400
What do you?
635
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:39,400
My God change.
636
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,280
I call it my God change.
637
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:42,280
A God change.
638
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,280
Okay.
639
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:44,280
Love that.
640
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:48,400
Since you had your God change, has your life been perfect?
641
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:53,480
Have you been perfect and has everything been peaches and cream since then?
642
00:37:53,480 --> 00:38:01,040
So no, in fact, I'd probably, from that point on, I went through probably the, which I thought
643
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:07,320
was before was the hardest time of my life, but I had no idea how difficult it was going
644
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:14,120
to get and the trials that I would end up going through and just about destroyed me.
645
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:20,960
So during this two week period of time, I had an angel show up and tell me, basically
646
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,560
command me to paint a portrait of my soul.
647
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,560
And I'm like, didn't make a lot of sense.
648
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:31,520
So a lot of times, I don't know, a lot of people that have had experiences with angels
649
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:36,520
or spirits from the other side, non-ecryptic, they don't just come out and spell things
650
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,040
out for you or speak in plain English.
651
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,120
You're commanded to paint a portrait of your soul.
652
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,440
And I'm like, I'm not a painter.
653
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:51,640
I interpreted that to be, was write my basically life story and about my near death experience
654
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:52,640
and all this.
655
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:59,360
So when I was writing my book, I received so much opposition while I was doing it.
656
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:04,720
Like it, I mean, most people wouldn't even believe the stories of the stuff that happened
657
00:39:04,720 --> 00:39:07,400
to me while I was writing this book.
658
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,400
Just crazy stuff.
659
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,880
You know, I mean, that might be a discussion for another time, but it was like, it was
660
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,280
so, so challenging for me.
661
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:24,240
But now where I'm at now that I've overcome that and I feel so blessed.
662
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:30,720
Like my life is never, of course, perfect and smooth sailing, but I am so blessed.
663
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:34,760
Like I am so in a good spot right now.
664
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,120
But that was not the norm for me.
665
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,360
I had to learn some lessons.
666
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:45,360
And the biggest one was how to learn and love myself in spite of my sins.
667
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,480
Love myself, forgive myself in spite of my sins.
668
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:54,040
Well, and I just think it's a good reminder that even if things are doing great, even
669
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:58,360
if we've had an amazing experience or we're really living right, doesn't mean life is
670
00:39:58,360 --> 00:39:59,720
going to be easy.
671
00:39:59,720 --> 00:40:01,280
We still have trials.
672
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,680
We're still here to learn things.
673
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:04,680
And that's okay.
674
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:05,680
Yeah, absolutely.
675
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,960
In fact, that's why we came here.
676
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:13,160
If you really think about this life, we came here to learn what we're not.
677
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:19,280
So if you take my experience, like what happened to me with God, when I was with God, I had
678
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:23,520
this unconditional love for everyone and this perfect love.
679
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,520
So that's what we came from.
680
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:30,400
So we don't really, and everything's about contrast if you think about it.
681
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:35,080
So you don't really know what you are until you know what you're not.
682
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:39,880
You don't know what it's like to be young until you've started getting older.
683
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,200
And then you can appreciate youth.
684
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,760
You don't know what it's like to be healthy until you've been sick.
685
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,840
So you don't really appreciate health until you've gone through a sickness.
686
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:55,560
And the greater the contrast, like people that have gone through cancer and recovered,
687
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,280
they so appreciate their good health.
688
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,760
They have such a love for it, but people that have never been sick, you don't even think
689
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,760
about it.
690
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,480
You take it for granted.
691
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:11,360
So this is how this life works is all of these trials you go through are for your highest
692
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:15,400
good because they are teaching you contrast.
693
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:22,560
They're teaching you to have such a greater and a deeper appreciation for the light because
694
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:30,640
you've experienced the darkness or love because you've experienced fear or hate, you know,
695
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:37,120
all these things that teach us that you've gone through, they teach us what you're not
696
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,280
so that you can appreciate what you are.
697
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,920
And I think that's just the most beautiful thing.
698
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:50,480
How we can watch a world that all these atrocities happen in, how much pain and suffering.
699
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:55,880
But if you actually understand where you came from and this that you are nothing but that
700
00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:02,520
pure love of God, you understand why we go through this and why you see so much pain
701
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:08,040
and suffering in this world is because we really wanted to know the contrast.
702
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:13,360
One of my favorite stories is Michael Jordan, how he got kicked off the high school basketball
703
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:14,360
team.
704
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:18,520
In fact, not just kicked off, but told he was a terrible player and he should go pick another
705
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,600
sport because this is not the sport for him.
706
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:26,800
And now he's considered to be one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
707
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,920
So think about that like with your life.
708
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:37,520
You came down here to get kicked off the team to be, you know, go through trials to go through
709
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:41,720
difficulties so that you can become the greatest of all time.
710
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:45,920
You can be the most loved that you've ever imagined.
711
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:52,720
And how much deeper your understanding of that love is now that you've experienced the
712
00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:53,720
other contrast.
713
00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:55,520
That's awesome.
714
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,240
You've got me motivated for today.
715
00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:58,240
Good.
716
00:42:58,240 --> 00:43:00,360
I'm ready to go out there and get it.
717
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,960
So Ryan, tell me about the book.
718
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:03,960
Is it done?
719
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:04,960
What's it called?
720
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,320
Called You Were Born a Warrior.
721
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:14,920
Basically when I was at the darkest, darkest point in my life, I was contemplating suicide.
722
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:16,600
And I had a gun.
723
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,640
I actually put it in my mouth and I was done.
724
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:24,240
I was ready to get enough courage to pull this trigger because I was just so low.
725
00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:28,480
And I heard God's voice and he said, you were born a warrior.
726
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,320
That doesn't mean you won't suffer.
727
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:34,240
You have suffered greatly, but you do fight to win.
728
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:36,800
And at that moment I went, yeah, I do.
729
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,120
And I pulled the gun out and I put it down.
730
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,480
I called my son and I said, hey, I need you to come get all my guns out of my house and
731
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:44,480
take anything.
732
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,240
I'm going through a real tough time.
733
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:51,920
It taught me one of the things and there's so many layers to this about all of us being
734
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,880
warriors because you're in a battle.
735
00:43:54,880 --> 00:44:01,400
You're in a battle just like God when he said in the beginning, the Lord separated the light
736
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:03,200
from the darkness.
737
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,200
That's in Genesis, right?
738
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:08,800
We're in a battle to separate light from darkness all the time.
739
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,800
And that's within ourselves.
740
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:17,920
So you are separating what is light, what is love from fear and darkness all the time.
741
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:25,440
And that's part of being a warrior is learning how to separate that light and knowing what
742
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:31,320
you're not and choosing what you truly are and what your soul is.
743
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,960
And that is love.
744
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:40,440
When you choose love and you choose that higher vibration, how you feel versus the darkness.
745
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,000
And so it is a battle.
746
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,040
And so we are warriors and you're a warrior.
747
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,280
I'm a warrior.
748
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:52,440
We're a warrior in a battle of light and darkness and you are learning every day how to be that
749
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:59,440
light and how to be that example to others and how to be that love that you already are.
750
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,000
And we are here to learn definitely.
751
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,000
Last question.
752
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,000
Yeah.
753
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,560
How much fear of death do you have?
754
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:06,560
Not anymore.
755
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:07,800
I really don't.
756
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:13,760
Maybe the fear of the pain of what that is going to be like going through, but no, I
757
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:19,720
have absolutely zero fear of passing over and going on to the next life.
758
00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:21,560
It was the most incredible feeling.
759
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:26,640
And in fact, like for 12 years, all I did was long for that, long for death going back
760
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,320
to the other side.
761
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,000
So for me now, I love my life.
762
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:36,160
I love all the blessings I enjoy in this life.
763
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,960
And I am so happy to be here.
764
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,800
But when my time comes, I'm like, yep, I'm ready.
765
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,840
You know, I'm ready to be united with God again.
766
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,320
Ryan, thanks a lot.
767
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:47,320
I've enjoyed it.
768
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:48,320
You're welcome.
769
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:51,760
Thank you for having me.
770
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,560
Thanks again for listening and sharing this podcast.
771
00:45:54,560 --> 00:46:00,640
Don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button and sign up for our newsletter at roundtriptest.com.
772
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:04,920
If you want to share your near death experience or if you have questions or comments about
773
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:09,240
the show, send an email to Eric at roundtriptest.com.
774
00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:36,720
Until then, I wish you everything good that you're looking for in this life and the next.
